I thought it might be a good idea to have a thread where we could discuss the different challenges/issues we face as being single and banded.

I'll start with introducing myself. My name is Chris, I am 32 and live in a suburb of Boston. About a year ago I got out of a 5 year relationship and have just casually dated (online dating) since then. I have decided to take a break from dating for a bit, so I can focus on myself and adjust to living life as a bandster. (I was just banded on 10/2). One of my biggest concerns when I start dating again is if/when to tell that I am banded. It's not that I don't want to tell people, it's just that my idea of great dinner conversation does not include discussing my weight. Overall I would say that I have a great life. I have a good job, a very supportive family, and lots of friends. I am happy to be taking control over my weight and issues with food, and am excited at the prospect of my future as a not-so-fat woman.

I look forward to meeting more single bandsters and hope this thread takes off!

Chris :cocktail:

AshRae84, I am so glad you joined us. Have you been banded orare you waiting for your surgery? I have kids your age. My daughter had gastric bypass and I remember how she felt when she weighed325.

Welcome to Paisley too! Glad you found us. We do have fun here! />

Derbygirl, I am glad you didn't have any trouble with that burger. /> hard to eat around people that don't know we are banded. I have that problem all the time. Have you had some fills yet?

JC , You look amazing. I am surprised you don't have girls knocking on your door.

Chrispy, I wish I had your problems! too many guys wanting to take you out even if they aren't the ones you're interested in, it's great for a girl's ego!

I met a nice lady from Plenty of Fish. I am meeting more single women from there, than men. She is only a couple of years younger than me, but she has the body of a teenager. She was telling me aboutall the men she has met through POF the last few years. She had a problem a couple of years ago, with that same guy who called me when he was drunk. She's very attractive and has only met a bunch of losers.This really makes me wonder if there are any decent available men in my age group. I think all the good ones are married.

Anyway, I am still rolling along here. I am stuck on another plateau, which; is maddening. That last fill really has changed my eating habits, so I hope it's temporary.

Hi friends! I got home this morning from the LBT cruise. It was such fun, we really had a great time.

I posted a few pictures on this thread: http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f7/welcome-home-lbt-cruisers-37004/

We decided to get braids in Cozumel, which made it easy to get up and ready in the morning.. just had to blow dry the back and make sure to put sunblock between the braids to prevent sunburn on the scalp. ouch! I should have waited until the 2nd or 3rd port to get them, I would have liked more pictures of me with my regular hair style.

I'll take another picture later this week with my braids out.

The shows were great, and the on board activities were fun... especially learning to line dance.

But, what truly made it such an awesome trip was the company. It's much easier to get along with people when you already have something in common. We talked about doing another cruise next spring, so make sure you all start saving your extra pennies.. it will be fun!

Karla

Hey Karla! The pictures look GREAT! I got my hair braided when I was in the Domican a couple years ago. I had no choice though. It was SOOOO hot, and the first night we were there we went to the disco and after dancing I looked like I had just jumped in a pool my hair was so soaked. So the next day I got my braids and all was good. lol. I bet you guys had a great time! Sooo.....any single men on that cruise?? lol

Ash the best advice I can give you is to spend some time focusing on yourself. Find a hobby or group that you can get involved with that gets you out and about. Maybe some volunteer work or the gym, maybe even a part time job to get you out of the house and meeting new people. Maybe you can make some single friends to go out with. That's what I had to do since all my friends have been married since we graduated college.

Derby girl you crack me up! I do have to say that restaurant eating is tough now for me with this last fill. 5 or 6 bites and I'm done. But so far no one has noticed, but I'm waiting for the day. Ugh!

Hey Denise - glad you checked in.

So I have a date this Wednesday night, but he's more of a friend. He's someone I met on Match oh, about a year and a half ago. We went out once, and then his mother died unexpectedly. It has taken him a long time to work through it, but we've remained friends and will go out every once in a while. I'm thinking he's interested in something more than friends, but I'm not sure I am. But I'm looking forward to seeing him, as I do enjoy his company.

Ok, I best start moving my butt or I'm going to be late for work. Have a great day everyone!

AshRae84, I am so glad you joined us. Have you been banded orare you waiting for your surgery? I have kids your age. My daughter had gastric bypass and I remember how she felt when she weighed325.

I will be banded in 2 weeks and 1 day (July 10th), so I anticipate things will start looking up for me soon! :-D

Ash the best advice I can give you is to spend some time focusing on yourself. Find a hobby or group that you can get involved with that gets you out and about. Maybe some volunteer work or the gym, maybe even a part time job to get you out of the house and meeting new people. Maybe you can make some single friends to go out with. That's what I had to do since all my friends have been married since we graduated college.

A part time job? Honey, I work full time, and go to school already! :-P But you're right, I do need a hobby, I just wouldn't know where to begin.

Thanks for the support guys!!

~*Ash*~

I suppose I'm officially a single bandster now. 18 months after I filed for divorce, the ex finally finished moving all her stuff out this past weekend.

Hurrah!

The nice thing about a slo-mo divorce is that there's no real emotional stuff to get over at the end of it. I will miss my dogs though

Now I just need to figure out where the 30something year olds are that aren't crazy cat ladies and don't want sugardaddies for their ex's kids. Ha!

30 and single here!!! ( jumping around and waving arms)

But seriously....are there any guys out there that aren't afraid of independent women?

30 and single here!!! ( jumping around and waving arms)

But seriously....are there any guys out there that aren't afraid of independent women?

Good question, and I think the answer is no... Apparently, according to a good guy friend of mine, when a girl says she doesn't want to play games, she means "I can't wait to get married." Which is an ignorant notion. But now I've banned the usage of that phrase from my vocabulary.

~*Ash*~

But seriously....are there any guys out there that aren't afraid of independent women?

Hmmm. I don't see where "I don't like crazy cat ladies" and "I don't like golddiggers" is equivalent to "no independent women." Can you enlighten me?

I can see that the world has changed in the last 13 years.

-->me, off to read this WHOLE thread and see where the minefields are

I think age is a BIG factor for me. Men my age are either extremely shallow, or just looking for a one night stand. The guys who are interested are either older than my father, or barely out of high school...

I want someone I can grow old with, not someone who's already beat me to it!

~*Ash*~

Manatee....I wasn't directing that question at you. I was simply throwing it out there to everyone. I honestly meant no offence. As far as the independent thing, I simply meant that all the guys if met are put off by the fact that I make more money or live in a bigger house than they do.

My misunderstanding then, soonersis. Thanks for the clarification.

Where I grew up, one was living large if the house didn't have axles and a hitch!

I'm not going to try to edit the prior post, as the editor on this board converts every space to a smiley -- annoying, that.

I will add that there are still a lot of guys tied into the "breadwinner" mentality. Add to that the inherent competitiveness of males, and the "money's a way of keeping score" meme, and you end up with guys who are suddenly feeling a bit small in the wallet when they meet a successful woman.

No guy likes feeling small

Hey! I am 35 and am having the surgery on Aug. 7th! Yay! I am so excited and the next few ?'s might be DOH worthy but hey, here they go!

How is your self esteem? confidence? Does it show? Is the opposite sex reacting differently towards you? Any info. would be appreciated! I am here for good! Ashley

Well manatee I can tell you that I am in my early 30's, am NOT a crazy cat lady, have no babies, and don't want a sugar daddy either. So apparently they live in MA. lol Congrats on your divorce, if those are the right words. lol

Bummed my self-esteem has increased, but almost back to my old level if that makes any sense? I was always a big girl, but knew I could rock it. Then I gained 60 lbs over 5 years and felt so disgusted with myself that I felt like I lost who I was. As I'm losing the weight, I feel like I'm finding myself again, which is a wonderful thing. I can't say I have more male attention than I did when I was this weight before, but it's certainly more than when I was 60lbs heavier.

So here is my latest - the IT guy emailed me today that he was dating someone else at the same time as me, and that has kind of developed into something a little more serious so he wants to see where it goes. I had a feeling something was up. I'm ok with it, but a bit dissapointed. I'll be honest, I liked him but I wasn't so sure about jumping into another relationship after Tattoo Boy so I was a bit hesitant. I think he could read this because he had said that he wasn't sure how I felt about him. So maybe our timing just wasn't right. I'm not taking it personally, even though for a fleeting moment I thought to myself "I bet the other girl was thinner than I was". I guess once a fat girl, always a fat girl. lol Well...off to my next victim I suppose. lol

Chrispy, that sucks about the IT guy. And Manatee, I'm sorry to hear about your divorce (or maybe it should be congratulations?).

Well, for the record, I'm not a crazy cat lady--I prefer dogs.

Hey, JC, you and me were banded on the same day--Oct. 5 of last year! I can't believe it's been so long. Time has really gone by fast.

Karla, you look great in the cruise photos! I didn't even know there was a cruise.