A thread for Single Bandsters

[wootsie73 0]

You guys have inspired me to do the internet dating thing! Does anyone know anything about BBW DateFinder. I have no idea what to say on my intro. page . . . very unusual for me. I scanned in a picture I like, but it doesn't look as good scanned. Oh well, I'm just putting my toe in the pond!

Hello eyespy,

I belong to BBWdatefinder.com. I have met only 1 guy in person from that site and he told me I was to fat, so I wouldn't recomend you join that site. I have had better luck on Mate1 and Plentyoffish.com than any of the sites I've paid for. Well, I belong to bbpeoplemeet.com and have found some very nice guys on there, but I haven't met any of them. All of the men on there that are interested in me live to far away to meet them. I'm not banded yet and I have found several men very interested in me, but most guys on the online sites want phone or cyber sex, at least that's what I've found.

To update everyone on my dating life, it has gone no where. The guy I went to dinner with and I haven't seen each other again. He was supposed to come see me again on Memorial Day, but didn't, as usual. I'm still talking to lots of people online, but not meeting them in person, so....

I've been very depressed lately I guess is why I haven't been posting. I want to get my band and it depresses me that I can't get it for a year. I am going back to school though, so maybe that will help me get out of this funk. I sure hope so. I think I need some human contact with someone besides my daughter! We have a new litter of 10 Boxer puppies with a fabulous pedigree if anyone is interested. They were born on the 28th and are so cute!

I wanted to tell you that I love your new pic. I'm jealous that I can't get my band damnit!

~Joan~

[NewBeginnings2018 81]

Wootsie hon, I am so glad you posted! I've been thinking about you!!! Don't be down on yourself. You are such a beautiful person, inside and out. If other people don't see that, it's their loss. Do what you can to see a therapist again if it helped you. I know you're on hold to get the band, and that probably bums you out as well. But I can tell you the band certainly doesn't solve all your problems. We're here for you Wootsie - always!

Eyespye, I've never done that site, just Match. I don't know - I'm a little leery about that site. I think a lot of men think overweight women are easy and have low self esteem and I just worry that BBW is a feeding ground for that. I have no basis for saying that, just a feeling I get.

Denise honey, you are FAR too kind. There have been plenty of guys who I've met who didn't like me or weren't attracted to me. The thing is to dust yourself off and try again. I know it's easy to say, but I get frustrated too sometimes. You're not alone with that.

JC the stomach bug is my biggest fear actually! I asked the doctor about that before I had surgery even. lol. Hopefully the unfill will help and you'll be ok when it comes time to get some fill added back in.

So my date tonight went pretty well. He's a bit shy, but overall I thought we had fun and I am interested in him. I think I could have a spark with him. I know, I know - a spark is something I should know off the bat, right? Well tattoo boy and I had fireworks, and that didn't work out so well. lol

So guys - I need your input here. This is our second date, and I got a hug goodnight. No attempt for a kiss. Need I be nervous, or could this be one of those ellusive "nice" guys?? lol. He took me out for a very, very nice dinner. We shared a bottle of wine, expensive meals - he easily dropped $100, so I'm assuming he likes me somewhat. lol. When the bill came I asked if I could treat this time and he said no, he asked me out so he pays and that I'll have to ask him out if I'd like to treat. So I'm guessing these are all good signs. It's pretty sad that I'm worried that the kid didn't try and make any moves on me. lol.

[NewBeginnings2018 81]

Eyespy I love your profile. It sounds fun, and genuine. Sounds like a go to me!

[eyespy 1]

Chrispy: Thanks for the encouragement. Encouragement for you, too. Doubt he would have spent so much on a second date if he wasn't interested. Plus, he asked you out again instead, "I'll call you."

I understand what you mean about being distrustful of the on-line thing. I agree that some men think that overweight women are easy bc of low self-esteem. Too bad for them that I'm not and I don't tolerate being treated with disrespect. (Even if my self-esteem isn't what it should be!)

Mostly I'm just interested in meeting a couple of guys to get to know as friends and maybe get some encouragement to boost my ego. I'm really a little freaked out by the on-line dating thing.

Joan: I think you are beautiful! I am glad you are getting encouragement from this site. I am too. I think I will probably have to wait 6 months to be banded. I'll have to do the dr. supervised weight loss if my insurance won't take past attempts. Due to traveling for work, I will probably have to wait until next summer. So, I feel your pain!!

I can't believe that guy told you you were too fat!! Didn't you meet him on a site geared toward overweight women? I met this guy at church that I went to high school with. I had no romantic interest in him, and very little friendship interest, for that matter. Anyway, he was sitting by me in church one Sun. and I pulled out a picture of me from high school. I had it in my purse bc my friend wanted to see me with long, red hair. (I was blond with short hair at the time). I thought it would be funny since we went to high school together. He said, "No offense, but you were in better shape back then. Have you ever thought about dieting." Then he starts telling me about the book Body for Life. I could have died! DOes he have amnesia or something. I didn't think it was a suprise that I gained weight. I was a size 7 in high school, and a 20/22 at the time of his comment. I wanted to tell him he needs better social skills, but I was too shocked at the time!

I guess we've all received those kind of comments.

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

eyespy, That is HORRIBLE! I would have told him to Mind His Own Business and stop butting into other people's conversations! I can't even believe that.

I think your profile is very cute. It's very upbeat.

Chripsy, Maybe he's just a genuine nice guy. How refreshing! Was that a hint that he wants you to ask him out? Maybe you should do that! Find something that's not too expensive and call him or email or whatever you do, and say hey I thought this sounded like fun. Do you want to go with me? I don't think he would have asked you out the 2nd time if he wasn't interested.

Joan, I wish you could get your band sooner! Why is that we let men depress us. I am so guilty of the same thing. I have this underlying feeling deep down that I will never be happy without a man in my life. I may never have one, so I need to change my thinking!!!!!!!

[AnotherMe 0]

Loridee11 & Eyespy.... WELCOME to the singles thread!

Lori - great job! 30 lbs since January! Doing great. I think I understand what you mean about getting focused on something. My advice is to try not to make it about the # of lbs. Instead, try to find something new you enjoy doing. Shift the focus to something fun, and it will take some of the pressure off.

It might sound a little odd, but I do much better when I'm not totally focused on the weight loss. I find I eat healthier, and am less stressed. Maybe that's why these last 25-30 lbs are hanging on?

Eyespy - I think you did a great job with your profile. It looks very original, and not a form letter or copy. Very "real". Have you decided which site you will begin with?

JC - sorry to hear of your recent troubles. Wow, just goes to show that the workplace is a real unsafe place! That's what I hate about having such a strict policy about unplanned absences.. my employer only allows a certain # of consecutive hours a year that you are allowed to call in sick. Once you've maxed out, you're left no choice but to come in ill..... doesn't bode well with the rest of us who have to be around the sick person. duh!

Sounds like you found a new fill center that will be much more to your liking. Hope the next few weeks go by quickly! Sounds like you might be missing a lot of furniture by then We're here to support you, let us know if you need Soup or Protein drink recipes.

Chrispy - glad you had a nice time! Since he made the comment about you paying if you asked him out, DO IT ! Sounds like he'd like to see you again. He seems chivalrous, I'm sure he appreciated your offer to "treat" but it goes to show you he genuinely expected to pay since he asked you out. I hope he tries a kiss by the next date, nothing pushy... but, obviously it would be better to know now if there may be a spark there.

Joan - I'm glad to see you're back. Don't let the surgery delay give you too much grief. I know you want it, and now! But, like they say all good things come to those who wait. You'll be an expert by this time next year, and will be much more successful than the rest of us.

Denise - I've got to believe for two great girls like you and I, there are a couple of available men out there! I think your feelings are valid, but I'm thinking you meant the part about "needing a man in your life to make you happy" as a general term? Sure it would be great to have companionship, someone to talk to, a partner to experience life with.... but, I think our issues with weight make it hard to get over this feeling we sometimes have that we're not good enough. It's a process, but I think you'll realize as you get closer to goal that it IS possible to meet someone. It's all about putting yourself out there, and feeling comfortable with yourself. Don't give up my friend. Keep the faith.

Sorry if I missed anyone, check in and let us know how the rest of you are doing!

Karla

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

karla, I see you have had quite a few fills. Maybe that's what will jump start my weight loss. I am so disappointed that I have only lost 30 lbs. But I have been afraid to get another fill. I am getting one next week though.

I am very sure if I got the extra weight off, I would feel so much better about myself!

[liberty2003 0]

hey everyone..Hope all is doing well..I have been ok i guess. Went to lake george memorial day weekend. I went out with guy last night his name was seth..he is pretty cute and we had fun..he already asked me out on another date.. I still depressed about my ex ..I know it takes time but i want to go out and have fun not think about him cause lord knows he ain't thinking about me..Ugh...Well gotta go back to work..Have a good afternoon

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

I know exactly what you mean, Kristen. I think dating is the best way to get your mind on something and someone else. I am glad you had fun!

[wootsie73 0]

Welcome to all of the new people to the thread! I haven't been on lately, but I've been following you guys and everyone is doing such a good job.

Denise, if you feel uncomfortable with the guy smoking pot, then don't go out with him, it's as simple as that. You should not lower your standards to his just because you aren't dating anyone else. Go ahead and put your profile up on some of the dating sites, especially the free ones like Mate1 and Plentyoffish.com, and see if you get some hits girl. You will find someone eventually, just like we all will, at least I hope! I have a couple new guys emailing me that I think would be a great catch, but 1 lives in Florida and 1 lives in Washington state. It's a little hard for someone in Texas to date someone from that far away, but I know it's been done, so we will see. I'm still talking to the guy fairly close to me, but I still haven't seen him again.

Anyway, I just wanted to welcome everyone and update you guys on what's going on here. Even though I'm online a lot, basically nothing is really going on.

~Joan~

[wootsie73 0]

Joan, I am glad you checked in. I have been wondering where you are. I know what you mean about feeling bad about yourself. I thought getting the band was going to be a big help. Then I got it and I am having so much trouble losing, that just makes it worse. I hope you're feeling better soon. I thought you met someone in your area that you liked?

Hi Denise,

I did find someone in my area that I like, but we've only seen each other 1 time, so I'm not sure if there is ever going to be anything there. He keeps cancelling out dates and is just to busy for me. Well, I'm looking for someone to go out with and spend time with, so I may not keep him around much longer. However, I did chat with him online about it last night, so we will have to see. He's initiated a chat on Yahoo with me for the past 3 nights, so...... Just so you know, I met him on LargeFriends.com and the guy from Washington state I talked about above on the same site. The other new guy I met was on BBpeoplemeet.com.

I wanted to tell all you guys that I'm a new mom to. I have a litter of Boxer puppies that were born on the 28th and there are 11 of them this time. Some of you guys were around when we had the last litter of 7, so I just wanted to let you know we have another accidental litter.

~Joan~

[eyespy 1]

Okay, so I'm freaking out. I got a *smile* on bbwdatefinder, and now I'm totally freaking out! Gosh, it's been a while!

[eyespy 1]

Crap!!!! I accidentally sent a *smile* back to him. I clicked on it thinking it would give me some directions. I wasn't ready to do that just yet. Oh well, I guess I'm in it now!

[NewBeginnings2018 81]

lol, too funny Eyespy! You go girl!

Ok, so the weirdest thing happened today. Tattoo boy text messaged me this morning, and we started chatting and by the end of the conversation we started getting into why we broke up - again. We ended up meeting tonight to talk because, moreso than me, I think he needed closure. It was odd to see him again, I'll be honest. We had dinner out and talked a lot about what went down. He felt like I gave up on "us" too soon, but I think at the end he understood where I was coming from when I broke things off. We both admitted we were sad to break up, and dissapointed that it didn't work out. He apologized, I apologized and that was kind of it. So it was good to talk. I don't think we'll be friends, but at least I don't think there's any anomosity. So it was an interesting night for me to say the least.

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

Why did you break up with him, Chrispy? I can't remember.

Joan, I guess I am just not read to put up a profile yet. Plus every time I do searches, the men I am interested in live very far away. I would really hate to move and leave my kids. I was just thinking about that a little while ago. I was thinking about whether or not I would be willing to drive 2 hours

one way if I found somone online where most of the guys seem to be. I think I would, but I don't think I would want to move. That means a long distance relationship. I don't think very many guys would want to move here either.

I want to wait until I get more weight off. I will feel so much better about myself. I am getting a fill on Wed. and I hope the weight starts dropping again.