My husband I think is finally acknowledging that this is really happening now that I'm approved (just this past Thursday) and have surgery date of 1/29. It is rather quick now but I'm happy about it. He's asked some questions but I think overall is scared something is going to go wrong. I keep trying to reassure him I've researched the doctor so long and he is one of the leaders of the sleeve and top hospitals. He's scared I will loose too much weight and will look sickly or will regret it because I'll have lots of loose skin bc of the rapid loss. I told him my goal and the eating and exercise plan and how long it will take me to lose it. The next moment he says he knows this means a lot to me bc he sees my dedication to it. I just hope nothing goes wrong and all my research, positive energy, preparation, prayers, and patience pays off for the good! He says I don't need surgery, but he supports me if this is what I truly want.

How have you reassured your spouses of your decision for surgery?

My SO, who is very athletic, didn't know until he was at the hospital with me. My former husband was very controlling and I was determined to follow through with the vsg because it was right for me and I did not want any barriers.

At first he was shocked when he found out the nature of the surgery. However, he immediately became very supportive when he understood that it was about better health and a new lifestyle that would extend my lifespan and make me healthier and happier. He made homemade broth for me in the early stages, encouraged me to get outside and become more active, played tennis with me and has continued to be an ongoing advocate. I did spend some time sharing with him specifics about the surgery, statistics, my own resolutions of previous health issues and new goals. Now he is pushing me to achieve more and to stay on track. It has become one of the best and healthiest relationships I have been in so far.

Last night, for the first time, we discussed plastic surgery. I thought that it would be a difficult conversation, but it was not. I told him potential options for future surgery to remove excess skin. I'm only half way to goal and I already have some loose skin, but I don't know what it will look like at another -25 or -50 lbs. He was also supportive of that! Which surprised me and makes me very happy. I don't know if I will ever actually pursue plastic surgery, but it is a possibility and I love knowing that there is support there if I opt for that at a later date.

My husband has been somewhat supportive of it. He knows that I am going to do what I want regardless of what he thinks though. But I have told him that his support means a lot to me, and I really need it. He is a very muscular normal weight guy who goes to the gym everyday. I was normal weight when we got together, but over the years I have ballooned. He has never put me down, but I know that he thinks I just need to "work harder" at taking the weight off. He has told me that I am way to obsessed about the surgery. I honestly think that he is jealous of the attention that I'm giving the surgery...if that makes sense? So, secretly I am excited beyond belief about it!!!!!!!!!!!! But, I don't talk about it much with him

I just got the you are crazy for doing this and you need to seriously think about this lecture from my bf.

Awesome! I'm still doing it.

He's been thin all his life. He has Crohn's so he will always be thin. I've never been thin. In high school I was a healthy weight and played basketball.

My soon to be X-wife is not supportive at all. Matter a fact her exact words were, "Your being selfish and only thinking of yourself".

My soon to be X-wife is not supportive at all. Matter a fact her exact words were' date=' "Your being selfish and only thinking of yourself".[/quote']

And what's wrong with that??? U need to love yourself to love others, that's elementary! Well, don't let that get you down or discouraged and instead let it feed you with strength through your journey to a happier you. Good luck!!

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And what's wrong with that??? U need to love yourself to love others, that's elementary! Well, don't let that get you down or discouraged and instead let it feed you with strength through your journey to a happier you. Good luck!!

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Completely agree!! Thank you!!

I guess I can't call my husband "supportive"...but more grudgingly accepting?? I'm still hearing the "when you get all skinny and sexy you'll leave me" comments and it's been 5 months since I first told him (getting sleeved in a month). He's gone from forbidding me to have it done, to forbidding me to going to Mexico to have it done (self pay) to now just grumbling about how I should be spending the money on a car instead of surgery to lose weight because I "am fine the way I am". (SIGH) He can really rain on my parade some days. I wish he was more into it....but it is what it is, and I'm going ahead with it on my own. I'd still love for him to be holding my hand along the way..even if his words are not so comforting.

At first when I brought up the subject to my mom and husband at the same time (probably 5 months ago) my husband thought I lost my mind! He said it was the craziest thing he EVER heard! He kept telling me that it would be like him (when he was trying to quit smoking) to go to the doctor and have them cut off his hands so he could never smoke again. He felt that if I tried hard enough I could lose the weight. Both my mom and husband have never struggled a day in their life with their weight so I expected those reactions and having to "convince" them. My mom was surprisingly more supportive than I expected.

I told my husband I was serious about it and was going to find a way to make it happen and I wasn't asking for his permission and I wouldn't discuss it with him anymore since he couldn't be supportive. My husband knows me well enough to know when I make my mind up about something there's not much to do to change it. He has grown to be supportive, but what really helped was bringing him with to the informational seminar. I had already completed a few on-line ones, but I wanted him to hear the facts from the doctors and he was able to ask the surgeon questions afterwards which helped a lot! He now understands my struggle more and why I need to do this. Both my mom and husband are still concerned/nervous, but I would probably think there's something wrong if the weren't!

Ok...im glad someone brought this up. Originally DH was just supportive, now he is excited which has bothered me a bit. He says he's really looking forward to my surgery. I mean what does that mean...got me feeling a bit insecure and what happens if Im not approved.

I guess I can't call my husband "supportive"...but more grudgingly accepting?? I'm still hearing the "when you get all skinny and sexy you'll leave me" comments and it's been 5 months since I first told him (getting sleeved in a month). He's gone from forbidding me to have it done' date=' to forbidding me to going to Mexico to have it done (self pay) to now just grumbling about how I should be spending the money on a car instead of surgery to lose weight because I "am fine the way I am". (SIGH) He can really rain on my parade some days. I wish he was more into it....but it is what it is, and I'm going ahead with it on my own. I'd still love for him to be holding my hand along the way..even if his words are not so comforting. [/quote']

Ummmm, first off, be careful about who does the surgery. God be with you!

People don't get what its like for us in our enlarged state. They also become insecure themselves because we take the steps to change. No matter what others think, this is for us. It'll make not only us feel better, but those around us too.

Good luck and have a great day!!!

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