Regret even after initial "omg, what have I done?"

[Nicole0110 12]

This is such a great thread. I'm pre op and just knowing I will more than likely run the gamut of these emotions, and that it's perfectly normal makes the surgery much easier to face. My husband has already mentioned since I'm doing so well right now on the diet why have surgery. I started at 268.6lbs and this morning weighed in at 230.4lbs. I'm 5'3.5" and I started dieting on oct 19 after my first class. I am feeling pretty good about my success and it would be pretty easy to chicken out and rationalize that I am doing ok and can continue on, except for the fact that I've done it over and over again. I think to myself this isn't about removing part of my stomach, it's about removing my yoyo. That lose-gain-lose again-gain again that has been my pattern my whole adult life. I lost 80 lbs about 10 yrs ago. I felt wonderful! I remember being able to jog, go hiking, walk in sandy beaches without feeling like dying. Being able to sit in a chair with my legs under me, so many positive things. All those things didn't stop me from gaining my weight back plus an extra 40 lbs. now I have 2 grand babies and I very much want to be able to make sure they grow up as physically active individuals. I want them to know that outdoor activities are the norm not the exception because I think a huge part of my problem is a sedentary lifestyle. It's a vicious circle. Too lazy to be active so I stay indoors but then I put on weight so it's hard for me to do anything so I stay inside even more and gain more weight. I want to learn to respect my body and in the process teach them to respect theirs. Anyway, I'm going to work on mentally preparing myself for those first few weeks. I need to talk to my hubby and tell him what will likely happen so he's not caught off guard if I have a melt down or two and just try and keep my eye on the prize. Spring will be here before we know it and I have plans for the skinnier healthier me.

Hello,

I think a huge stress reliever for you is that you are already exploring the emotions and the change that WILL happen in your life. This surgery is an emotional one. I spent plenty of nights crying, wondering if what I am doing is right and ten thousand other questions. The main issue is that you don't let all the doubt and fear change your mind. When something is new and scary, its human nature to run for the hills but this decision we all made here is to live a healthier life. Most important this decision is for US!!! I am sure many of us as the "heavy person" became the one that carries everyone else's crap and find ourselves almost feeling guilt when we want or have to do something for ourselves. One (there were many) of the biggest lessons I learned through this journey is I have to come first. best of luck

[FLdragonfly 2]

I am three months post op and definitely went through that. One day almost a month after surgery I had a HUGE meltdown. I was sobbing and screaming and everything. Questioning why did I do this and the fear of my regret was huge!! I was questioning how I was going to live like this after all, I was just frustrated! Everything went uphill from there. IT WILL GET BETTER!!! Once you are on a steady diet of solid food, you will feel better too.

I didn't want my surgery too close to the holidays because I expected to feel like you do. Thanksgiving was 2 months out and Christmas was 3. I was able to eat, just very small amounts. I have found that having a "taste" of something is far better that not having it at all. I had a small teaspoon of mashed potatoes and stuffing. Didn't need any more than that, couldn't finish it all. I was a Coke drinker too, I tried a sip the other day, hated it! I was astonished at that. Always remember to eat your Protein first and you'll do great.

I'm down 60 pounds and 4 pant sizes in 3 months, I may not be losing it the fastest but I am so happy I did this!!! I hope that you find that you will be happy with your decision too!!! Does your doctor offer a support group? I havent' gone to mine, I haven't felt the need to but I am glad I have that option should I find that I need it down the road.

Good Luck!!!

[Robyn Owens-Miille 132]

Take this time to re-address your relationship with food so that when you are healed, you don't go back to the "old way."

I enjoy a meal with my family. Most days we eat the same thing. I just focus on Protein and only nibble a bite of the starch, if there is one. We go out to eat. I had 3 Texas fries the other night (fries with cheese and bacon) and then focus on my beef fajita strips. But, I STOPPED at 3 which is NOT the way the old me would have done. The old me would have ordered my own plate and not shared with anyone AND eaten a full entree. I now share my entree with my 7 year old son or take leftovers home.

For the first time ever, I'm learning to control my food. It still wins sometimes (damn Christmas cookies). I can eat a bite or two of something that's not so healthy and then stop. I feel like a normal woman. I was always amazed seeing dessert left on a plate or a few bites of a yummy looking appetizer. Now, I can do that! There is no need to scrape the plate clean every time.

You had surgery at a super hard time of the year (it's always hard). I hope it gets easier soon and you don't regret your sleeve. I love mine. I've never lost weight with any long-term success in the past. 7 months... 110 pounds... and still losing.

[MichiganChic 3,262]

I know how you feel. I absolutely had my mind made up before surgery....then the day after surgery, it hit me! I did have a sense of "OMG, what have I done? This is permanent". Since then I just work on getting through a day at a time. I feel certain it will get easier once we can eat a more normal diet, but it has been difficult through the holidays. I just keep telling myself I got a jump on my annual New Year's resolution to lose weight - and I'm thinking I might actually achieve it!!

[FatFreeMe 37]

I am pre-op and expected to be sleeved in Jan. I loved this thread because I felt it addressed what I fear the most - having regret. I'm terrified but with a BMI of 51, I think this is the o ly chance I have. I must also admit that I've lived a very sedentary lifestyle for most of my adult life which is what at least partly caused my weight problem. I've never lost a huge amount of weight. I've just steadily put it on over the years. Whenever I tried dieting, I give up on myself way too soon. I'm looking at this surgery as the push I need. I don't want to feel regret - I'm scared of feeling that way. I'm scared of failing this or giving up way too soon. Ugh!!!!

[EnigmaInKY 22]

I just wanted to thank all of you for your posts. No tears in 48 hours - lawd, it's a miracle! At the end of this week I can move to soft foods, allowing me to add eggs, low carb tortillas, cottage cheese and soft veggies, among other things. While I'll still have to rely on at least one Protein Shake a day, I can see light at the end of the tunnel. Yes!

[thepick4u 8]

Hi,,

I'm a Dec. 19th sleever as well. I'm still working thru the same feelings. This is hard stuff mentally and emotionally. I was thinking the surgery might be more physically challenging for me but luckily and thankfully so far it has been the easy part. I have bad arthritis which has made my life miserable in addition to lumbar disc problems. I was not as obese as many and got some strange looks. You know that "well, you carry it well" comment. I had the surgery to try and get my life back. Less pain hopefully and easier mobility. I'm only 44. I don't want to be a huge burden on my spouse or kids. At least if I am smaller life will be longer and easier on all concerned. You have most likely prolonged your valuable life by having the surgery and given/gained time with your loved ones. Just make life about each other and not food. Remember you only need to eat to live but not the reverse. It will get better. You are just normal and need time to adjust. Best of luck. You will be alright! Better than alright in time!

[teachbearga1 18]

I feel your pain sleeved 12/20/2012. The day my life changed. I wish that i could have my old stomach back. I never experience this much pain. It is very hard to see family and friends enjoying food. I pray that it gets better for you:-) I did not realize how much food gave me comfort.

[Pink Butterfly 11]

love this thread. I am 6 weeks out. I was an emotional wreck before the sleeve. I kept crying I mean why couldnt I do it on my own? My hubby was great at listening to me. Every food I ate I wondered will I be able to eat this again? When I was sleeved a week later was thanksgiving and my birthday, then Chirtsmas. Everyone tried to get me to wait but felt like if I need to eat through another holiday maybe I should not be doing this. Once I decided to do it everything happened so quickly 2 months. After the op for several weeks I thought what did I do? But I am so thankful my procedure went so smooth I am on the up and up and trying to adjust to my sleeve. I miss diet coke I miss sushi but I do not miss the 32 poinds that are gone. I dont miss nothing fitting me, Each day gets better Its okay to regret things we have to learn to change our mind set I love the honesty that people are posting.

When I moved to soft foods and ate cottage cheese for the first time it tasted like the best food on the planet! LOL baby steps and day by day is how we will get there!

[ebthompson2010 126]

This will change. You will not have buyers remorse forever.