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**confession**

I was sleeved Dec 4, so I am 12 days post op. I am supposed to be on full liquids. My S/O's cooking is a huge distraction. He made lasgna and I ate a spoonful. I chewed it to mush....but I still ate it. Now I'm paranoid about my stomach unraveling. **throws head back and cries**

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Internet bullying is a real issue, just like in person bullying.

Internet bullying is a real issue, just like in person bullying.

So is emotional immaturity.

I don't feel bad about the bites, it's my mistake. Personally I am happy it's grilled chicken and not any carbs. Nurse said if I didn't have a problem with it then I shouldn't worry! But to be safe, for my stomachs sake I will stay on protein shakes til week 4.

With that, I'm going to leave the forum now but I wish you all the best, truly.

Merry Christmas, and please remember the reason for the season. We should all be being kind to one another in honor of those who can't be here.

As long as you follow what the nurse told you: if it sits well, you're okay, you should be fine. Just take it slow as far as introducing new foods. My NUT doesn't okay chicken until 6-8 weeks out. But every surgeon has a different plan.

Internet bullying?! Seriously? That's laughable, and it's insulting to victims of *real* Internet bullying.

Everyone, please remember our rules. Be polite, respect one another and attack the idea, not the person. If you need to refresh yourself on what our rules our so you do not violate them and receive a warning and/or ban, here is the link:

http://www.verticalsleevetalk.com/index.php?app=forums&module=extras&section=boardrules

Simply...

Quite true that my leak was not caused by anything I did. I followed doctors orders to a t after surgery (both) because of a fear of leaks While I didn't cause the leak, I do know what can cause one, as well as...and the more important part...what happens to your body when you have a leak. Who cares how it happens? I spoke with Liz many times when she was feeling off about what a leak is and how it could affect her to help her with symptoms. Her leak was not caused the same way as mine, and yet, turns out Liz had a leak and talking about it with her led her to go have her symptoms checked out. The why of the situation isn't the issue...it's the outcome and I'd rather the OP never know what a leak feels like. Heck I'd rather no one ever knew and I'll keep making an effort to educate people as to how and why they happen as well as how to avoid them.

You are not a doctor and have never experienced a leak, and yet you are an expert apparently on what's ok to eat and how. Your lack of experience or medical expertise is obvious and yet you are going to question the validity of the statements of someone who's been down the horrible road first hand???? That's kind of silly really isn't it? You see the irony??

OP, I'm glad you found a support group to attend. I was not trying to insult you in suggesting help. This is a long road and it's not just about the surgery. It's about understanding the seriousness of this huge step you took and using the tool correctly...and recovering in a healthy fashion so you have a long and happy life without the burden of food issues over your head. I hope you find huge success in the journey, but please...just think quickly of what could happen early out. It's not "cheating" it's Russian roulette and no one wants to play that game.

To the OP, and others in a similar situation, I do not feel that because you cheated at three weeks out, or were so badly craving a piece of real food that you took a small bite, chewed it up for the flavor and then spit it out qualifies you as having a full blown "eating disorder" that requires you to immediately seek help from a therapist. We are all weak, we didn't become obese by having a strong willpower to resist the temptations of food, we became that way because we don't. We tried diets, but they weren't successful, hence, we turned to the sleeve. Whilst they are able to sleeve our stomachs, they are not able to sleeve our brains. And no matter how much we prepare, psych ourselves up, get counseling beforehand, etc., the bottom line is those old demons do not just disappear overnight. And lets be honest, I don't care who you are, between the pre-op and post-op diets, we go a very, very long time on liquids and mushies only. Kudos to all of you who decide to undertake that. No matter how much you prepare for that, until you are actually doing it, you have no idea just how difficult of an undertaking that is. If you are able to make it through the entire process without cheating, I commend you. If you aren't, it doesn't mean you have failed, it doesn't mean you didn't research, it doesn't mean you weren't prepared or ready for this surgery, it just means you are human and you caved. Own up to it, understand you made a mistake, tell your doctor and get right back on track.

Understand, I am not saying you didn't or won't put yourself at risk, but I am sure each of you already knew that, or you wouldn't be "confessing" it here. But believe me, you weren't the first or the last to cheat. What is important is that hopefully you are okay, understand what you did, and immediately get back on track and do your absolute best to make sure you don't do it again. This is a tough, tough journey to take, lets all be supportive in an honest, caring and respectful manner of one another.

To say we're all going through the same thing isn't really true. Some of you cheat and are fine, while others follow the rules religiously and still get a leak.

If you had the slightest clue how painful and life threatening a leak is, you wouldn't cave so easily.

And I agree, if you know you're cheating and make it a point to chew meticulously the food you shouldn't have it's not a "slip" but absolute disregard for the rules your Bariatric team set up for YOU. To keep you HEALTHY!

I haven't had a drink in 20 days. I can't even have ice chips. If I can keep myself from drinking out of the sinks in my hospital room or sneaking a swig from the Water fountain I pass every time I walk, surely anybody can say no to foods they aren't supposed to have yet. I've had to avoid a survival instinct by keeping water out of my mouth for TWENTY DAYS and at the earliest I can have ie chips for Christmas if my barium swallow comes back ok.

You want to taste something just because you crave the taste? It can wait a couple more weeks. if you give in so easily so early you're setting yourself up for complications, not just a leak, but some serious regain in the future. No single bite of food is worth going through what I'm going through now and others like Iggy have in the past.

Thanks all! While I appreciate the input, I would like to caution some of you on your tone. If I am needing "help" please offer a suggestion of who/where. If you can't fathom a fat chick making a fat chick choice lol **shrugs** If you can't relate to a mistep and have no encouragement...please keep it moving. I don't need anyone being condesending (not to be confused with being honest/telling it like it is). I talked to my doctor about my spoonful and he assured me that I would be fine and that ALLOT of people slip (if they want to admit it to others or even themselves). I also understand that there are those that NEVER mistep **round of applause** Anywho, I've been back on track the past couple of days. Again, thank you for the support. In the event I mess up again...I'll be back to confess it.

VERY WELL SAID!! It shocks me when people have the nerve to be so rude and judgmental. We aren't perfect. This is a tool, not a fix or cure all. Take it one day at a time and get back on the wagon.

I'm not even going to argue because you make no sense. We're on vertical sleeve talk. OBVIOUSLY the confession thread will be about the sleeve.

I hope you never make a mistake and post. Karma sucks.

"Treat others the way you want to be treated"

They would probably never post about a mistake or admit. Or maybe they really are just that perfect. The back and forth that I've read on this post has turned me off. There is a way to say things. When im talking to a friend in person the tone would be completely different than a stranger online. People can read into text several different ways. And any help you tried to provide is lost because you come off as a jerk. If you have a few people telling you that your tone is harsh, or moderators posting rules to remind you to be respectful, maybe you should check yourself.

I find more of a problem with those that assume people are "jerks" because they point out the importance of following the rules of their surgeon. Condoning cheating and saying its fine, in my opinion, is a clear illustration of their holier than thou complex and teaches the person seeking help that it's ok to ignore the structured diet set for them.

The sleeve isn't a cure-all. It's a tool designed to work WITH the right diet. And so early on, I'll say this again from my hospital bed, no taste is worth the risk of being where I am. I didn't break a rule, and have been here 3 weeks. Taking that risk isn't worth it.

There's only so many different ways you can say the exact same thing! We get it! No one said continue to eat lasagna. What's done is done. She survived so now we look to the future!

I wish I didn't get notifications on my phone lol!

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