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The same people who judge me for how I've lost my weight, are the same exact people who judged me for being fat!!! It's a lose lose situation and I've learned not to care what others think. I usually get a sad face from people who found out that I lost my weight with wls but that's fine. Would it make sense to say a person cheated if they used financial aid for college, NO! So why is it cheating when I want to better myself?

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Darlin'....opinions are like a-holes. Everybody's got one and they all stink. That's a direct quote from my grandmother. And a wiser woman I have never met.

I told everyone. I'm proud of my choice. I'm proud of every success and even any missteps. I made the best choice and I do NOT let others opinions take up real estate in my mind.

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I have told around... 25-30 people. My own family thinks I cheated. That I took the easy way out. I read a blog somewhere that said if weight loss surgery is considered easy, then using a washing machine instead of beating your clothes with a rock by the river, driving a car instead of walking or horse and wagon, and cooking stove top instead of lighting a fire and cooking off the ground sure is the easy way out too. It's a TOOL. But of course, people will Always judge regardless

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We all know there is nothing easy about this surgery! People are so ignorant and feel their negative opinions matter. It's usually people who have never had weight issues or are extremely jealous! I was too excited to keep it to myself but I wish I had. Especially since I went to MX to get it done. Everyone's got an opinion!

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It's really interesting the experiences different people have. I started out planning not to tell very many people. Just close friends and family. But I found out as I told people that many people knew someone who had WLS. In fact, that was how I chose my SURGEON - word of mouth.

I still haven't told everyone but more people than I planned on, particularly at work. Maybe since my insurance covers it, there are a number of people who have had it. Fortunately, I have had supportive responses from most people. The only person I can think of who has been a bit standoffish about it is ironically one of my closest friends. Most others just seem very excited for me.

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I have told everyone that asks and quite a few before that I had the surgery. People that think this is the 'easy way out' or cheating are the same idiots that think the mentally ill can make themselves well by just changing the way they think.

The most common comment that I get is that I didn't look like I needed 'that kind of surgery'. I tell them I was 100 pounds over my recommended weight and now at 43 pounds down they are shocked.

I guess my don't give a darn attitude is a bonus of reaching almost 60! Wait till you get there, it is VERY freeing!

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Whatever, just don't give a f**k about what people say.

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I've told a few of my closest friends, my wife told her mother. I don't think that I will get the "cheated" vibe. But anybody that would say that, has no clue what some of us have gone through before we got to this point. I've done every diet, shot and pill. I did the ephedra cocktail, knowing it might kill me. I managed to get within 8 pounds of my goal weight doing it the hard way, and broke my foot while running and gained 40 back just basically sitting on my butt with my foot up. So until they have walked in our shoes, they have no right to judge. If you get that vibe...F'em :tongue2:

Hang tough man!

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Guess I'm lucky because I work with several people who had gastric bypass (a few successful and a few not so successful) so the thought of not telling anyone at my job was not an issue. In fact, me and a co-worker had surgery by the same surgeon one day apart. We are the first "sleevers" at my job and already have had others tell us that the may follow suit. My family and close friends and even my neighbor are all supportive. I'm 5'2. SW 204 SW 196 CW 171. surgery date 10/31/12

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I knew some people I knew would think I cheated. So, I went to Facebook. Yep, I was super sleever! I posted my intentions, that I didn't want to hear terrifying stories about someone's cousin's best friend's little sister's piano teacher died a horrid death because of it. I asked for their support. I explained how it felt to wake up fat everyday. How it felt to fail every diet known to man. Then I posted every dr. Appt, every test and even my diet during pre-op.

I figured if they are gonna judge, they can judge me on everything. And maybe, just maybe, someone would learn something new along the way.

So far, I've only had positive responses, no one has unfriended me and a few other distant friends came out of the cupboard to say they had WLS as well.

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I tell the truth to anyone interested enough in my weight loss to ask: that I achieved it and maintain it through diet and exercise. My health problems and medical treatments are none of their business and I am not interested in their opinions.

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I guess I just don't give a shiz. I was open about it, didn't hear any rudeness to my face, I got a couple snide side comments (the lady who told me I DIDN'T Have anything done to lose MY weight) I just said F-off. If I wanted your opinion I would give it to you. But that's just me. Sometimes it's hard not care, but I try hard not to.

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I have told around... 25-30 people. My own family thinks I cheated. That I took the easy way out. I read a blog somewhere that said if weight loss surgery is considered easy' date=' then using a washing machine instead of beating your clothes with a rock by the river, driving a car instead of walking or horse and wagon, and cooking stove top instead of lighting a fire and cooking off the ground sure is the easy way out too. It's a TOOL. But of course, people will Always judge regardless[/quote']

AWESOME response! Love it.....

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I must be very intimidating (at all of 4'12") because no one has said anything of that nature to my face, and given I had a lengthy complication issue pretty much everyone in town and in the other state we live in knows LOL (small town...small state). Maybe they wouldn't say it because most know I nearly died, so if that isn't an "i told you so" what would be? heh heh

Anyhoo, I tell people and really, they don't say anything. Perhaps your approach is less upfront? Or not brusque enough? I just say I had surgery and move it along without room for comment....

perhaps I talk too much and they can't get a word in edgewise? :P

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If cheating is eating small, balanced portions, restricting carbs, fats, soda and alcohol , staying hydrated, & exercising FOR LIFE, then I guess I am a cheater. If my friends think they could lose 100# honestly eating carrots and celery sticks, they are saints. If losing weight were easy requiring NO SACRIFICES then the whole world would never struggle with their weight. Honestly, I hope the few friends I DO tell will feel a level of compassion for me that I had to go to such extreme measures to be normal

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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