I need some help! I'm cheating

[RoyB 0]

I read the forums and have never posted before. I was banded 9/22/03. Due to my lack of will power and cheating/eating. When I went for my first consult 7/03 my weight was 308lbs. Currently, I weigh 298lbs. I have also been a poor chooser of foods. I believe my doctor is trying to get me to my sweet spot on the band slowly with very small fills. I have another fill scheduled for next Thrusday. One of the problems I have is regarding execise. I have 2 herniated discs in my lower back and it's real hard to motivate myself to exercise due to the pain. I have had 3 steroid injections on my back since last year. Still I have some pain. My wife has been supportive but she has been facing her own weight battle. She is going to have bypass surgery later this month. Hopefully we will be on the road togther and it will make the changes easier. I am just really frustrated with myself and I feel like a failure. Thanks to everyone for listening. I just needed to vent.

-Roy

[sascijo 0]

When everyone in the house eats the same, your weight loss will improve. The motivation doesn't seem to be there, and In my opinion , it takes a while for the band to work. At least with me it did. The right restriction is imperative, but it takes a bit to get there. One thing I did, which you may not want to hear, is this.

When I wanted to eat, hungry or not, because that is what obese people do...eat when they are not hungry... I would eat anything high in Protein first. meats, shakes (protein) or whatever. It would curb my appetite and keep it curbed.. The carbohydrates, and sugars (which are my downfall) made me hungrier and I was able to get more in... I still do this.... (when I am not binging) I eat protein first, then my veggies, and then if I still want it, I eat something sweet. I hardly ever want it when I eat this way. My surgeon said, "ANYTHING" you can do , even if you cannot walk, run, jump, or ride a bike, anything you can do, like arm weights, leg lifts , or even just stretching, is an improvement. They did a study with nursing home patients and they started the oldsters out on a minimal exercise. Some just sitting in wheelchairs. They did arm, leg, neck and chest exercises. The improvment in the people in one month was unbelieveable.... Not on the physical improvement, but their mental outlook was way better. I know I am preaching to the choir.... I need to take my own advice, but you did ask and you have not lost much and truly want to see you succeed. I will say this also, please take it the right way.... When the ladies of the house set their mind to something, like a diet or eating a certain way, the men and chlidren just follow. I think this is because in most houses the women do the cooking and planning of meals and also buy the groceries. So it is hard for you I am sure.... But it sounds as if it is going to get better soon. Hang in there... Keep posting... each person here has been so helpful and I know they will help you... I truly believe in the protein thing... I drink EAS rich chocolate fudge. It is GOOD.. It is at Walmart... you can get 4 cans for around $6.00. Or you can buy Atkins, it tastes better, but more expensive. Each of these are low in carbs ... I am not an Atkins freak, but I have found that the weight comes off if I limit the carbs...along with the band. I did not say, that I don't eat carbs at all. there is a difference. Keep us posted...

[hagerteresa 3]

Hello,

That is what we are here for: to be supportive to people that need it. You should post more often. We are a very non-judgemental group and I know other people are having similar struggles. I haven't been banded real long but one thing I have already come to love and depend on is www.fitday.com. It tracks your calories consumed, Vitamins, activity, etc. I also absolutely detest excercise but found I LOVE Water aerobics. You should give it a try. It is fun, refreshing and still excercise. My doctor definitely told me the list of food priorities too: Protein #1 then vegetables, fruit, carbs last... Hopefully you get the perfect fill soon too. Best wishes, Teresa

[MeganA 35]

Roy-

Stop beating yourself up!!!

If you could loose weight with willpower and good choices alone, you wouldn't need the band....

Be patient with yourself (I know it's hard!), you aren't doing anything wrong.

I was in the same position as you- I had to get four fills to get to my current restriction and it took over 6 months. Now I'm loosing the one pound a week as promised. I eat what I want, trying to make good choices at least 80% of the time.

It will come for you, too. Don't loose hope! I bet with the next fill you see big changes.

Hang in there!!!

Megan

[RoyB 0]

Thanks for the support... I talked to my wife this morning. She made a comment that maybe I was upset because I went with the band instead of the bypass. That I am to blame for not making the right eating choices and not exercising. She has said several times in the past that she thought I was jealous of her getting the bypass. I don't know how to feel. I think I made the right decision for me..getting the band instead of the bypass. I also know she is making the choice she wants in regards to having the bypass surgery. Thanks to everyone for the support. I will post here more often.

-Roy

[Alexandra 55]

Roy, I'm sorry your wife is making comments like that--they're COMPLETELY unhelpful. Perhaps she's giving voice to her own fears about having such a drastic procedure where yours seemed simple in comparison. Wish her luck for us, by the way.

As for you, I do hope you come here more often. When I fall completely off the wagon, going for weeks without exercise or eating ice cream with no thought of limitation, I find it really helps a lot to come here and post more. It keeps me focused and mindful of what I'm trying to do and the reason I got banded in the first place.

Losing weight with the band is a partnership process. We can't sit back and expect the band to do all the work. In order for the band to do its part, though, it must be properly adjusted. So you'll have a much better grip on the situation once that's the case. We look forward to getting to know you better!

[donali 57]

Hi Roy -

Everyone here has given you great advice - particulary Megan, when she suggests that you stop beating yourself up. If you are indeed eating the way you are because of a lack of restriction, then that problem will be resolved with additional fills.

The band is a physical tool, and it is a powerful one. However, it cannot help with the psychological changes we must make to become successful - our whole relationship to food must change. There is no "cheating" - there are more nutritious and less nutritiuos choices. The band is for life (for most of you, anyway!! ), so it doesn't matter if you've gotten a slow start - it is never too late to change your habits.

You do NOT have to be perfect. Following the suggestions of eating your Protein first, then veggies, then other stuff as room allows MOST OF THE TIME will get you back on the right track. You do not have to do this perfectly - just MOST of the time.

As far as your wife thinking you may be jealous that she's having the bypass, you may indeed by subconsciously jealous. She will be dropping weight quickly and effortlessly. At first. Believe me when I tell you this, though - if your wife does not change her relationship with food, once her body adjusts the malabsorbtion portion of her surgery, her weight will start piling back on. My sister had the RnY, and she has regained almost ALL of her weight.

I agree that it will be much easier for you to make healthy choices once your wife is also being mindful of what she can eat.

I am certain that you can succeed with this. Congratulations on getting your tool, and for figuring out how you can use it to best suit your needs.

Good luck, and keep checking in!!! Support really is a huge part of success.

[RoyB 0]

Hello all.. thank you for your kind words and support. We have a cafeteria here at work and I decided not to have the usual fried stuff from the grill today. Here was I decided to eat today.. tell me if this is okay. I ate the meal in this order..

Grilled chicken Breast with Rosemary and Thyme

Baby Carrots mixed with corn

Seasoned Rice..small amount

No bread whatsoever!

-Roy

[donali 57]

Roy -

Sounds like a great meal to me. Did you feel satisfied afterwards? Are you still feeling hungry? How long will you stay satisfied?

You should be able to stay satisfied on a reasonable meal for 3-4 hours - so if you're getting hungry sooner than that, make your doc give you a little more fill. If not, sounds like you're at a good restriction.

I have to constantly tell myself that just because I DON'T choose something less nutritious today, doesn't mean I can NEVER choose something less nutritious... If that helps with your mindset at all...

[Penni60 45]

Roy: It sounds like you are making better choices with your food selections. Are you drinking lots of Water? That will help you in yoru weight loss process as well. DO NOT DRINK WITH THE MEAL!!!

[sascijo 0]

Roy,

Can you eat bread? I know I can't. I would too if I could. It is a big weakness of mine. If you can, I am thinking you are not at the right restriction yet, and that is part of your problem. I don't know one single person with the right restriction that can comfortably eat bread. I think your choices in your meal were good. Did you get satisfied? Green Beans seasoned with chicken or beef boullion and onions diced up in them are real good. Not quite as many carbs as the carrots and corn. However... those are still good choices so don't think I am saying don't eat them.

I am going to confess that I wished I had gotten the gastric bypass at first. I truly thought that it would do it all and I would not have to deal with dieting or watching what I ate. I'm lazy.

I wanted something to do it for me. Well, now I am glad I did the band. I think it was the right choice for me. I have learned so much about the gastric bypas that I did not know before and I am content with my choice. I hope you are too.

[RoyB 0]

I can still eat bread, tortillas and biscuits.. albeit slowly. I really don't keep bread at the house anymore. There is one place I like to go to Breakfast on the weekend. They make some of the best biscuits and sausage gravy around.

-Roy

[Penni60 45]

Breads, Pasta, and rice are all a no no for me. I could eat my weight in bread I think. Thanks to the band (sounds sorta like an infomercial) I can no longer eat any breads. I have tried believe me and I have paid for it. PB everywhere. LOL!!!

So, just be more mindful of what you are putting into your body. Use food as nourishment and not has an excuse to fill a want or desire. Speaking from personal experience here. I am not saying that you are doing that with food. I am saying that is what I did. But it is rings true for you then take it to heart.

Speaking of heart, sausage and gravy biscuits mmm mmm good, bad for the heart.

You are on the right track. It takes time.

[DeLarla 22]

Roy, come here. Post here. Read here. Be here. The awesome people on these boards are more useful to me than air.

If you're posting, you're not eating!

[RoyB 0]

Thanks everyone for the kind support. I think the world of ya'll already! I am usually a very introverted person. I am trying to break out of my shell a bit.

-Roy