I'm not sure if this is wrong but I've been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years and he knows I've been looking into surgery but he doesn't know that I'm currently doing all the pre op exams for surgery. To be honest m sure he'll support me 100% but I've been thinking of telling him the day before the surgery or maybe not telling him at all. We dont live together. Anyone pre or post op facing or faced a similar situation. Please give me your opinion. Thanks!

Be honest. One time my husband had surgery for one thing and actually had two surgeries at once. When he told me afterI felt my heart fall int my stomach. All I could think was why couldn't he tell me???

Please tell him!!!

How would you feel if something this important and life-changing was kept from you until the day it happened?

Bingo. Here comes another man's perspective as well. If I was dating you (or anyone else) for five years and we were doing good and I knew you were thinking about doing it, I damn well would wanna know if you were gonna go thru with it. Especially since you state that you think he would support you 100%. Why would you not?? I think that if you don't tell him you would do more damage to your seemingly good relationship than by telling. I really don't see the problem if all is good between you two. It would make me think twice if you didn't tell me. It's a major thing that you're doing and he would probably wanna be involved. Oh and if you didn't tell me until afterwards, I don't wanna hear anything about the new truck or boat I just bought either! LOL.

..... Oh and if you didn't tell me until afterwards' date=' I don't wanna hear anything about the new truck or boat I just bought either! LOL.[/quote']

Okay....I just did a little man dance over this.

I can see your point lol.... That's defintiley an argument start.... "well you got wls so I leased the new tahoe" omgosh!!!! That wouldn't be cool at all lol.

Bingo. Here comes another man's perspective as well. If I was dating you (or anyone else) for five years and we were doing good and I knew you were thinking about doing it, I damn well would wanna know if you were gonna go thru with it. Especially since you state that you think he would support you 100%. Why would you not?? I think that if you don't tell him you would do more damage to your seemingly good relationship than by telling. I really don't see the problem if all is good between you two. It would make me think twice if you didn't tell me. It's a major thing that you're doing and he would probably wanna be involved. Oh and if you didn't tell me until afterwards, I don't wanna hear anything about the new truck or boat I just bought either! LOL.

Love that quote by Kyle Cease

Okay....I just did a little man dance over this.

That must have been awful!

Be honest. One time my husband had surgery for one thing and actually had two surgeries at once. When he told me afterI felt my heart fall int my stomach. All I could think was why couldn't he tell me???

Hey everyone!!! Thank you so much for giving me some piece of mind. After positing I realized (after reading what I wrote in my head) how stupid that would be.

I read everything you guys had to say and THANK YOU for not criticizing me.

About 4 nights ago my honey and I were coming back home from the movies and I told him that I wanted to get the surgery done, (including that I was kinda thinking of not telling him until days before or not at all)

Told him how I felt about people knowing my business and how i rather tell them in my own time, told him that I've done most of my exams, and my concerns about the whole surgery....

He's wonderful. He told me he's 100% on board and that he will be there every step of the way, even told me that if my insurance doesn't cover it I can get it done with his insurance when we get married. Surprisingly, he actually talked to me about it... i thought he'd be like "ok thats cool... want to go grab a shake?," or something to avoid the conversation but we talked and it felt good.

I ENCOURAGE EVERYONE TO TELL THE PEOPLE THAT THEY LOVE AND KNOW THAT WILL SUPPORT THEM.

He told me he'll always love me no matter what... I'm glad u told him! I wouldn't have had the courage w/o you guys!!! so THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And good luck to you all!!!!!! :wub: