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Dating And Romance - New Beginnings!



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As I have lost weight (down 90+ now), and my energy is returning, I am so aware of how much I would like to find a man to share my life with. I feel like I have more and more to give - and that there are so many possibilities ahead of me - great stuff - fun adventures - tender discoveries. I am almost 50, no kids, never married, and in so many ways beginning my life over again (or maybe for the first time!)

What I have wanted for a long time was a family man - a guy who had a strong character, a good job, cared for his family and friends, enjoyed life and a good laugh, believed in God/church, and had goals for himself (ie. traveling, better job, personal growth, making a difference in the world, etc.)

To be honest, I don't think I have ever dated a man like this! (gulp) I am coming to realize that perhaps I didn't attract this type of man because I wasn't treating myself well and was not exhibiting the security and qualities he might be looking for in a woman. Maybe on paper I was... Sure - I went to church, had good friends, a good job, could certainly laugh, and had goals - BUT - I didn't respect myself much and certainly didn't "shine" as the fun, beautiful woman God made me to be. I mean it - I hid - a lot - even in the midst of what many thought was a great life - I hid - behind 200 extra pounds.

Today I spent the day going to garage sales, antique shops, and enjoying the gorgeous fall colors with a girl friend and my dog. Tonight I feel like going line-dancing (this cracks me up that I want to do this - but I do). I want to go watch and join people as we move and breathe and enjoy the music. I want to laugh and live! Tomorrow - I want to take a boat over to Washington Island (I am on vaca in Door County, Wisconsin) and find some hidden away beautiful spots to take pictures and sit and read a book. Then I want to see the play about Vince Lombardi and enjoy 1/4 of a steak tomorrow night (lol - we are cheap dates now, aren't we?) Then I want to go to the Mariner Museum and investigate all the stuff they have about old \-time sailors and boats and the wreck of the Edmond's Fitzgerald. Oh - and check in on the Ryder cup and see how the US is doing.

See - I'm fun! Could there possibly be a neat guy out there for me? Lord - I sure hope so!!!!

Ok my fellow single sleevers - where are you all at with dating? Especially those of you who have sold yourself short in this department and are thinking about getting out there and opening yourselves up to life and love again - or maybe for the first time?

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Chicago...you have just quoted my story as well. 45, never married, no kids. Was just sleeved on 8/28 and am down 30 lbs so far. But I too am looking at this as a brand new beginning - ready to live the next half of my life, and not jsut exist.

And the description of the type of man that you are looking for or hoping to be found my mirrors mine to a "T". I too, have always settled for what my low self-esteem allowed e to think was all I was worthy for. But I know that I am worth more than rubies and that that man is out there...for you and for me!!

Thank you for posting this!! LEt's keep in touch!

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Loved reading your post!

I met the love of my life post op! We are talking about when we get married and about our kids too :-) The confidence that comes along with your new body is so helpful in the dating department. I am so excited for you! You deserve it.

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    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
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      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
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    • BeanitoDiego

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    • ChunkCat

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    • BeanitoDiego

      Still purging all of the larger clothing. This morning, a shirt that I ADORED wearing ended up on top. Hard to let it go, but it was also hard to let go of those habits that also no longer serve my highest good. Onward and upward!
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