One of the final things I need to do pre-op is to give my 5yo a better explanation as to why I am going to go to hospital for an operation next week. He'll also want to know what will happen during the operation and when I come home etc.

So far I have told him that "mummy is going to hospital to have a little operation to fix my tummy and that will help me to be healthier so I can run and play more with you". He has taken that in his stride, but I feel that he needs a better explanation closer to "The Day".

I want to give him more information, as he is a smart kid and will pick up on little things and worry about me if I don't tell him more, but I don't want to overload him with too much. I am trying to decide how much information he needs to know, and how I can best convey it to him in a manner that he will understand and that will not cause him to worry.

I would like to hear from those of you with small kiddies how you have let them know about your lapbanding and/or how you discuss lapbanding with them in your daily life.

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Good question. I think you've done a great job so far with the explanation. You might add that they give you medicine that makes you sleepy and you'll be very sleepy when you get home. ? Maybe you could make a comparison to kids' stomachs. That they're small and can't hold as much. And that you'll have a stomach like a kid and you won't eat so much. That could help him understand the small portions and the little bites.

I think it is great that you have shared it with him!

I explained it to my daughter that I was going to have a band put inside my tummy so that I could eat less and lose weight. I stressed it would be inside so that she didn't expect it to be around my stomach on the outside. She now tells everyone that will listen that mommy had weightloss surgery. ~Mandy

my son is 5 years old, i just told him the truth at every stage about what was happening or going to happen, he just took it in his stride and understands fully what the lap band is there for and why, he is also taking on board the aspect of healthy eating and why, and understands that i did not choose heathly options with food and this was a reason for getting my band. hes very understanding and accepts thats why i have changed so much in the last 18 months, some of my old pictures of me that i show him now he does not reconise me, but he laughs n says thats not my mummy lol. you woill be quite suprised on how much young children understand and except if you are truth full with them, i decided to be honest from the start as he is part of my family, and so i didnt have to lie to him about why i had to go in hospital, once u start lying it goes on and on, so that wasnt for me. be honest with your child and he will respect you and show you lots of love for that, good luck xxx

Lets see...

my kids are 10, 6 and 3. When the older ones have asked questions about my eating habits... my answer is/was: Mom has this plastic thing inside my tummy to help me lost weight!

Its short sweet and to the point!

If they want more details, we talk more about it!

Thanks gang,

Thanks for the reassurance. I like your ideas and ways of dealing with this. I would never lie to my kids, but sometimes it's hard to guage how much information they need. So far so good.

Last night I told him that I'll have a present for him in my hospital bag, as a reward for going to sleep in his own bed at night. He likes to go off to sleep in our bed at night. Carrying 40 lb sleeping boy back from our bed to his every night is killing my back, and hubby has a bad shoulder so can't do it either. It's been an issue we've wanted to deal with for a while, this is a good chance. So I said to him I wouldn't be allowed to carry him anymore for a while after my operation, we need to do this together. Now he says "mummy I really can't wait until thursday for my present, can I open it now please?" Little devil!

All is good for surgery next Thursday - I'm happy, and it appears the family is too!

I told my older ones and my youngest has no idea because he wouldnt understand anyway. I got a pre op video to watch and I let them watch that with me and you can pause it and stop it ect and skip. So I stopped where ever he had questions and skipped anything that was reallly scary like potental of death bla bla...They were actually really interested and thought it seemed like a piece of cake proceedure. Then when I got home they made sure I didnt carry anything heavier then a gallon of milk or even push a shopping cart it was so funny. And we wont even talk about how they nag me about my food.

We have a very inquisitive 5 yr old in addition to our 4 yr old that doesn't need as much information. My DW explained that she was going to the hospital for surgery to get a band to help her tummy get smaller. They both were very interested in "seeing" the tummy after surgery b/c they needed to fully understand why they couldn't be on mommy's lap and had to be gentle with her. Oh, also told them the big scar was where the port was and explained the port was something to help the band work better. Just today (my DW had surgery on 5/26/06) our 5 yr old pointed to the big scar and asked if that was where the port was. Who knew he remembered it? They really do understand more than we give them credit sometimes, but overload is also possible.

You are smart to get feedback and pull from others. I'm sure the right words will flow out when the time is right. Good luck!!