I definitely have a love/hate relationship with food. I'm tired of carrying around this extra weight, and the thought of gaining even more scares the hell out of me. How is it that I gain it so easily, but when I really, really try to lose it, I can't? The only time I've ever been able to lose 30 pounds was with prescription weight loss pills, and soon as I stopped taking those the weight came back, plus some! I'm tired of struggling. I've accepted it I guess, that I will never be thin again. I've told myself that big girls can be just as beautiful as thin ones. But I don't feel like myself being fat... I look at myself in the mirror, and I avoid pictures at all cost because I feel like that reflection isn't me.

I've been researching doctors in Mexico because I'm self pay and this is where I would have to go if I want to get this done. A lot of different things have been going through my head about the entire process. It all comes down to me missing food. I would definitely say that I'm a binge eater AND an emotional eater. I truly love to eat. It scares me to think of that being taken away from me because I guess I use it as a type of therapy in a way. Going out to eat is a hobby for me. I love hanging out with family watching movies, eating Snacks and drinking Dr. Pepper all night. Food in a way has become like my best friend as sad as that sounds. I'm worried about how I'm going to change if I get the surgery. I 100% want to change, no doubt about that. I've come to realize just how much of my personality revolves around food. When I was younger and thinner, people I didn't even know would tell me I was "stuck up" when in fact, I'm the same person that I am now, I just looked different. Of course now, I'm the chunky one and I'm not "stuck up" anymore. Lol it's funny how society stereotypes people.

I feel like my weight is holding me back from enjoying things in life. I'm a single mother and I completely avoid dating because I feel like if I can't be happy with myself and love myself, how could I ever make someone else happy? It's time to end this destructive relationship with food and get my life back on track! It's time to eat to live, not live to eat!!! I'm ready to get healthy for my little boy. I'm all he has and I need to be around as long as I possibly can for him! Thanks for reading this... I kind of felt like I needed to write this to make myself feel better and possibly reach out to others that kind of relate to this.

Wow! I can totally relate. I had the same exact feelings that you have with food. I was so scared to part with food. I mean it was always there when I needed it in the good times and the bad. I could go on and on. It was my best friend! I knew I wanted to get healthy but i didn't know if I could emotionally handle not having the food whenever and wherever I wanted it. I lost a lot of sleep over it.

I had my surgery in Mexico 6/27/12. From the start things moved very quickly. Since you don't have to jump through all the hoops that people w/ insurance do. So when I started the process it only took 2 weeks to have my surgery and that was because I had to do the pre-op diet to shrink my liver. The closer the surgery got the more nervous I got. There was no turning back.

Here I am 6 weeks out. I am so happy that I didn't let my so called "best friend" keep me from making one of the best decisions I've ever made.

I'm so excited to just get it done already! Lol even if I have to save up for 2 years, I'm getting it done. I have to... No more excuses for me. If I don't get the surgery, I'm sure that diabetes, heart disease, high Bp and cholesterol are all in my near future!

Sorry I accidentally hit the post button to soon.

I wanted to tell you my relationship with food is totally different now. I have control not the food. The sleeve is a tool that helps you take control back. I look at food totally different. The way I feel about is so different. It's been said before on here "I eat to live now and I don't live to eat" anymore.

Good luck on your journey and don't let your so called "best friend" scare you off from making the best decision of your life.

Thank you! That helps me a lot hearing your story and knowing that you don't regret it.

I would say that I had/have the same relationships with food that you do. At just over 2 months post-op I'm learning that food can still be a good friend but one that I'M IN CONTROL OF.

I posted last week about our first experience eating out at a nicer restaurant; We went to Red Lobster where I had a few bites of salad and 6 small broiled shrimp, a few broiled scallops and 2 bites of biscuit (seems like a lot but the shrimp and scallops were really small). My old self would have #1 ordered an appetizer, #2 ordered a big entree, #3 eaten every single bite of it, #4 eaten 2-3 biscuits and then have eaten dessert (if not at Red Lobster within a couple of hours). I'm finally learning that I can have a bite of something I love and not have to eat the whole thing (or seconds or thirds).

I still hang out with friends and family. Last night we went to some friends house and went swimming. They wanted to have pizza and salad. So, I ate salad first and then had some of the canadian bacon and vegetables off the pizza (I know that's backwards but I figured it was safest). I did throw a couple of Snacks and some sugar free drink mix in my bag to be safe before we headed over. My family is very supportive and I always take "safe" foods with me or we discuss where I can go if we're going to a restaurant.

I'm currently learning that I shouldn't let food control me... I control it. I wish I had begun learning this lesson 20 years ago and 150 lbs ago! Good luck. I personally have not regretted this at all (at least not since the pre-op week from hell!).

I love Red Lobster!!! Lol like you, I would order a Dr. Pepper of course, snack on the biscuits and order the crab stuffed mushrooms, eat a salad, eat my entree and be completely stuffed! I usually would stuff myself so full there wouldn't be any room for dessert! Haha.

I've read about a lot of struggles during that first week. Im mainly worrying about getting dehydrated. I've seen where others have put that it hurts to swallow to get the fluids down. Also, can you never eat and drink at the same time again?

The first week isn't easy. It is a major surgery and you will have some pain and nausea. For me, it wasn't near as bad as my first c-section though. I had a fairly easy time of it compared to most. I kept something to sip on nearby nearly all the time. Even at bed time I took a "sippy cup" to my room with me so when i woke up I could get a drink. sugar free popsicles and Jello were a life saver for me starting about day 4 when the need to chew something kicked in.

The not eating and drinking at the same time was difficult at first. I just don't put anything on the table for me these days. Just make sure your food is moist and that you chew, chew, chew (no dry chicken breasts or big hunks of meat).

10-4, Chief - I hear you all the way. I want control over my life and addiction with food too. This is exactly why I am having the vertical sleeve gastrectomy done. I need that tool that will control and restrict what I can consume. I can have an all out free for all at a fast food drive in or all you can eat buffett. I am tired of feeling so guilty about food.

I personally can't wait to divorce food. I hate the fact that i can eat a whopper since nobody should eat that much at one meal. So excited to eat 1/4 cup of food. Im not going to miss anything about food. Our US portions of food are ridiculous and disgusting. I wish restaurants would serve normal sized meals like when i was growing up. Its amazing what has become the new normal.

omg I can SO relate and I'm so glad someone brought this up! I really am wondering how my life will be without my friend food. I LOVE good food. LOL

THANK YOU all for your posts! I'm grateful to hear from those of you who felt this way and are now on the other side and doing well!

Someone once told me NEVER EAT your best friend. So I have stopped, I had to realize food wasn't my friend!!!

I definitely have a love/hate relationship with food. I'm tired of carrying around this extra weight' date=' and the thought of gaining even more scares the hell out of me. How is it that I gain it so easily, but when I really, really try to lose it, I can't? The only time I've ever been able to lose 30 pounds was with prescription weight loss pills, and soon as I stopped taking those the weight came back, plus some! I'm tired of struggling. I've accepted it I guess, that I will never be thin again. I've told myself that big girls can be just as beautiful as thin ones. But I don't feel like myself being fat... I look at myself in the mirror, and I avoid pictures at all cost because I feel like that reflection isn't me.

I've been researching doctors in Mexico because I'm self pay and this is where I would have to go if I want to get this done. A lot of different things have been going through my head about the entire process. It all comes down to me missing food. I would definitely say that I'm a binge eater AND an emotional eater. I truly love to eat. It scares me to think of that being taken away from me because I guess I use it as a type of therapy in a way. Going out to eat is a hobby for me. I love hanging out with family watching movies, eating Snacks and drinking Dr. Pepper all night. Food in a way has become like my best friend as sad as that sounds. I'm worried about how I'm going to change if I get the surgery. I 100% want to change, no doubt about that. I've come to realize just how much of my personality revolves around food. When I was younger and thinner, people I didn't even know would tell me I was "stuck up" when in fact, I'm the same person that I am now, I just looked different. Of course now, I'm the chunky one and I'm not "stuck up" anymore. Lol it's funny how society stereotypes people.

I feel like my weight is holding me back from enjoying things in life. I'm a single mother and I completely avoid dating because I feel like if I can't be happy with myself and love myself, how could I ever make someone else happy? It's time to end this destructive relationship with food and get my life back on track! It's time to eat to live, not live to eat!!! I'm ready to get healthy for my little boy. I'm all he has and I need to be around as long as I possibly can for him! Thanks for reading this... I kind of felt like I needed to write this to make myself feel better and possibly reach out to others that kind of relate to this. [/quote']

I am also thinking about getting the surgery for many reasons in which you have mentioned! I don't normally make news years resolutions but i did in jan 2012 .. It's was that this year was going to be about me.. I was going to put myself first... I am a nurse and have a 20 year old and a 21 year old and a husband of 21 years. I suffer from depression or it could possibly be, low self esteem. With the kids moved out for the pass year and we have moved to a new province... I eat more I sleep all the time except for the ten shifts I put in each month... I sleep when I get home and my days off. I was thinking today that maybe all this sleeping is cause i carry around 70 extra pounds. Today is Saturday, all I have done is sleep and eat!!! I cannot go on like this! My news years resolutions plan was to lose weight and do something for me.. I think I have no choice but to book the surgery. I had the money saved up, as I also will be self paying, but ended up using it for something else! Does anyone else out there have the same story or similar as mine? I need to hear how great your lives are and that you have way more energy since the surgery! Fat holds me back!! :/

Which doctor do you think that you would want to go with if you decide to get the surgery?