I've noticed recently that I've begun to think unhealthy thoughts about eating. I had a Protein shake tonight for dinner because I feel like since I've hit stage 4 and began to eat regular food, the speed of my weight loss has decreased. Then I remembered that I had a piece of donut (the size of a quarter) because I was craving chocolate and now I feel guilty. I felt guilty after a party this weekend, too, even though I really didn't eat that poorly.

There were many times before the surgery that I wished I felt guilty for eating and wished that I had anorexia instead of the urge to binge. Now that I'm eating healthy and doing really well on this journey, I feel like I don't want some sort of psychological intruder messing with my mind. I've spent years working on my self esteem and to suddenly doubt myself just isn't me.

Has anyone else had these feelings of guilt or wanting to "punish" yourself for not eating right? Just typing this brings tears to my eyes like I'm actually being punished by someone.

Awe, eating healthy is the best thing for you, punishing yourself isn't that healthy for you at all. Many people that are overweight end up self-sabotaging themselves by thinking they aren't worth it and saying #@*( it, I suck and then eating a bag of cheethohs, ice cream etc.

Drinking the shake was a smart move. It is you correcting a mistake you made. You know you should not have had the donut, no matter how small it is, so you made a correction. Next time you crave chocolate, have a chocolate Protein shake.

The issue is that you feel so bad about yourself still. Nobody is out to punish you, you need to drop the guilt but make wise decisions. I think drinking the shake was brilliant because it is a cause and effect. You ate a donut, you felt bad so now you are going to do something about it. Next time, don't eat the donut, eat a sensible dinner and you won't have to feel guilty.

To me, doing anything that makes me feel guilty is just not worth it. I am stuck at about 450 calories, and I myself know I need to up my calories and eat a little more and I feel the self-sabotage because I'm more afraid that if I do, I'll gain weight. I know as long as I keep upping my exercise, it will be fine, but when you hit a stall, like I have hit and you know you are taking in all your protein and as low* carbwise as you can go when having a Protein Shake and skim milk and a small amount of cooked vegetables that eventually the weight will have to leave you.

Give yourself some slack but try a healthier alternative next time and be proud of how far you have come.

PS: I do get the guilt, I'm dealing with it without eating the donut, you are not alone

Edited July 18, 201214 yr by MinaT

I've noticed recently that I've begun to think unhealthy thoughts about eating. I had a Protein shake tonight for dinner because I feel like since I've hit stage 4 and began to eat regular food' date=' the speed of my weight loss has decreased. Then I remembered that I had a piece of donut (the size of a quarter) because I was craving chocolate and now I feel guilty. I felt guilty after a party this weekend, too, even though I really didn't eat that poorly.

There were many times before the surgery that I wished I felt guilty for eating and wished that I had anorexia instead of the urge to binge. Now that I'm eating healthy and doing really well on this journey, I feel like I don't want some sort of psychological intruder messing with my mind. I've spent years working on my self esteem and to suddenly doubt myself just isn't me.

Has anyone else had these feelings of guilt or wanting to "punish" yourself for not eating right? Just typing this brings tears to my eyes like I'm actually being punished by someone. [/quote']

Yes, I understand what you are saying. I am sitting here feeling guilty because I had 21 carbs today and 538 cal. I feel like I shouldn't be over 500, and I ate a cracker and almond butter today that I really could have gone without - or just had 1/2. Also, I should have stayed under 20 carbs.

It seems like to be successful it is important to track every aspect of my diet, but then I feel badly about myself when I don't stick to my own exact guidelines.

Keeping things in the right perspective can be very hard sometimes. I am a work in progress.

Remember this isn't an all or nothing thing. You are talking about being upset over two meal out of 21 for the week. You did great 95% of the time!! That is awesome. Sure we should all shoot for 100% and most weeks we can hit that, but slipping up a couple of meals over the course of a week is not a big deal.

The shrink I had to see preop said that most overweight people are all or nothing people, which is why we have trouble losing weight. We do good for a while, but then we slip up, and instead of rebounding and getting back on track, we get upset and just throw it all out the window and keep eating poorly. That sounds like what you are dealing with. I used to do the same thing before when I tried to lose weight. You have to forgive yourself and just rebound to making better decisions. Don't beat your self up, or punish yourself. Reward yourself by eating healthy foods that will make you feel better and look better.

Nobody is perfect, and I think you are doing a great job, hang in there!!

I really liked this above post about overweight people having "all or nothing" mentalities. In other words, they can be, surprisingly, frustrated perfectionists! If we're not operating at 100%, if we ate 1/4 of a doughnut, we might as well be sitting in front of the television with a pint of ice cream, bag of chips, what-have-you.

Perspective is everything. I can only encourage you to relax and be proud of how far you've come, while always being aware of what/how much you're eating and getting in your activity.

You've done a great job "self-adjusting" with your Protein shake, so I think you should be very happy with yourself. That's working it!

thank you all for the encouragement. i understand the "all or nothing" perspective because that was me for many years. my mind needs to keep up with my changing body!

I think it's great that you ate a donut the size of a quarter, if that isn't moderation I don't know what is. I don't think this procedure is about nevers, ie you can never eat this or that. It truly is about moderation, be proud that you ate that little donut, I know pre surgery I would have ate the whole donut and would have wanted to go back for seconds. I feel moderation is very healthy, and apparently moderation is something that most of us have to work on. Your doing great, don't feel bad because you have no reason to.

More about the "all or nothing" thinking trap: there was a time in my relative youth, when I weighed 164 lbs (at 5'9"). But in those days (the early 1980s) young women wanted to weight 135-145, because, well, it SOUNDED thin, whereas 165 SOUNDED pretty hefty. But it was that all-or-nothing thinking that was like a slippery slope for me. I STILL wasn't thin, even though I was a size 10. And of course, with my state of mind in those days, I let that faulty thinking undermine my accomplishments. I still thought of myself as fat, and fat was fat was fat, whether it was 185 or 165 or 195 or 211 or 230, etc.

The last 20 years, the focus has been turning towards health and not just numbers. I still HATE it when people talk about BMIs and how women should be at 20% body fat, blah, blah blah... it's SO demoralizing.

sorry for the rant. But we MUST give our selves credit for what we've accomplished and NOT think of our slip ups as catastrophes.