So today I picked up my brother Austin(he's 12 this month), we were going to have lunch with my mom. While in the car I was talking to him a out my surgery and how excited I was and he said well I just want you to be ok.

He's worried that something will happen in surgery and I won't come back home. This is such a sensitive subject and I'll tell you why.

Match 14th my brother Brandon who was 24 died in the hospital. He had many medical problems throughout his lide and just couldn't overcome them at this point his body just had too much to deal with. This has been very hard for me as I was his caregiver and I miss him dearly.

Anyway this is why Austin is scared, hell I can't blame him! I would be scared too if my only brother that was living was going in for surgery when my other one had died just 4 months prior.

I feel bad for putting him though this but I hope I can convince him that it's very safe and that I need this surgery badly. But I wonder Since he's feeling like this, is my Mom? I can't imagine that of she is how I will even go through with this now. She has been through so much and I don't want to put anything else on her.

Anyway thanks for listening and It you have any advice I sure would appreciate it!

Johnathan

I just want to tell you that we are here to support you, I can't say that I've been through your situtaion, but I can't imagine it being easy. I am sure your choice of surgery is bringing up fears in your mom as well as little brother. I would just advise to communicate and involve them in the process as much as possible. I am extremely close with my mom and invited her to a pre-op appointment, I even sat through the orientation program again so she could feel as at ease as I am.

Best of luck! I am sure once you come through the other side of this process they will be happy since you'll live alot longer with the surgery than without.

And thats exactly what I told him was that I will have a longer healthier life if I get the surgery.it still makes me sad that he's worried. He's too young to have worries like that, it's not fair.

I am a mom, and in her shoes yes she is probably scared of the same thing. But honey the reason this surgery is so important is so that what they fear does not happen. Obesity creates health issues, it lowers our life expectancy, not to mention the depression it causes.

they are going to be scared. So are you...but faith is what is needed......Don't let fear and worry stop you from being healthy and alive...Your brother wouldn't want that, your mom wouldn't want that and your little brother wouldn't want that..

hope this helped

Poor guy, he is so young, but I truly believe that we are only given as much as we can handle. Children are so resilent. He will be so much happier to have you around and healthy for a lifetime!

Johnathon, my heart, prayers and thoughts are with you, your little brother and your mother.

Time is the only thing that will start to heal the pain, though it never really goes away.

Go into this surgery with a positive thought, have your brother see your positivity and as you get wheeled into surgery think positively. When your brother sees you come through this surgery and you are doing well, he will feel more secure. It will also help in another way. He obviously associates hospitals with death or dying and he will perhaps learn that hospitals are a place of healing and well-being.

Your Mother, bless her heart. Of course she is worried, but you decided this surgery was important for your health and in the long run, if you follow the plan, and put 100% effort into it will be doing your Mother and Brother so much more good by extending your life and getting you healthy to be there for them both in the long run.

My deepest condolences on the loss of your brother. I know that you are worried about hurting your mother and brother by putting them through this surgery, but you stay positive and let them see the positive side of this and keep proving to them afterwards it was the right decision.

My father was in support of the surgery until a week before. It was so bad, he could barely come to see me at the hospital it tore him up seeing me there. He was terrified. I saw him 2 days ago and I said well Daddy, did I do the right thing and he looked at me with pride and love said, yeah you did. He really wanted me to call it off.

Again, my prayers are with you.

Poor guy' date=' he is so young, but I truly believe that we are only given as much as we can handle. Children are so resilent. He will be so much happier to have you around and healthy for a lifetime![/quote']

He will. And he is such an amazing person! He's just so cool. And when I get healthy I'll be able I do more with him.

Maybe you can find a support group for those before and after surgery. We have it at our local hospital. Take him to meet those who made it through fine. Might calm his fears.

Your little brother is probably thinking that a hospital is just a place where people go to die after the experience with your brother. You need to help him understand that that's just not the case. That a hospital is a place for helping and healing. And that you have a chance to change your life and get healthy with the surgery.