messin up

[kimmason 0]

Messed up

Hi Folks

Well I don't feel comfortable tellign anyone this, butthis is the only place I can come for help. I was banded on Aug 10th and did okay,,,bt I am hungry. I am on the second week of the full Fluid diet post op and just "lost it" and ate. I mean i ate two hamburger patties with cheese, then went to a movie where i ate popcorn and chocolate. I don't know why I did it. I was starving, sick of eating or rather drinking and i lost control, story of my life i guess. I do not have the coverage for the surgery and it will take me ages to pay it off and I feel addicted to food I guess and if I can't do it now, then I guess i have messed up with this too. I don't know what to do, and if that now means my band is messed up and stretched or whatever can happen. I only felt liek I had something stuck kind for a sec when I ate the hamburger patty but then I ate it and chewed it up better. how the heck am I going to get through this when i am have a fill and crave everything in sight? I am sorry to moan and I know I am my worst enemy but I read of the people here who never mess up and are sooooo determined ,and I am not a kid anymore and I am almost 300 lbs. I started out at 320.

So I dunno, I am afraid that i will fail at this since I have done so so early in the game.

K

[CLOE 0]

Kim, big deep breath!! If your hungry you SHOULD be eating!! I'm sure not burgers and popcorn, but liquid mushies anyway. I know that I got hungry before I was suppose to, too. I called my surgeons office and they gave me permission to eat certain things. You should call TLBC and tell them you need a little more, they will be understanding I'm sure. Never mind the burgers etc... put it behind you. You will be able to eat those things again, it's not all or nothing!! You probably do not have much if any restriction, and I'm sure you havent done any damage being that it has been a couple of weeks. But you need to call your surgeons office to up the food. DO NOT GET HUNGRY!! Once your healed up and get your first fill and get the restriction you need, you'll be able to eat what you want, but not tons of it. Let me tell ya, the band WILL stop ya!! Focus on the future and smile. This is not the time to beat yourself up!! Your gonna do great!!

[Bettina 0]

Remember you haven't even had a fill, so of course you are hungry! Its not too late, this is a new week....start again. When you feel like eating junk -I do this--i wait 10 mins to see if I can live with out it, 9 out of 10 times it works!(silly, I know but it can't hurt..lol) Your weightloss is great so far....maybe set small goals to reward yourself. Also when you are on the verge of indulging log in, one of us can talk you out of it! (except if you are at the movies, but you know what I mean)

Take care and best wishes!

[Nana~ 4]

EVERYONE falls off the train at some point and the very start is the hardest time (atleast for me it was) like it has been said. It's a new week a new begining a chance to get back on track! Dont give up!

Nana~

[Yoda 0]

It doesn't mean you will fail. If you think you will, then you will. Pick yourself up, dust off and start again. Don't beat yourself up over it. And, yes, as Cloe said...eat more but NOT burgers/popcorn etc (make that a one time mistake)....you can't be eating that at this stage of your healing. Just eat(drink) more full fluids or move on to the mushies. You WILL be able to eat it later once you have restriction (but not THAT much of it...or trust me you will be in a world of pain). Bettina also had good advice....we all crave....but just wait a few mins, do something else and it will normally go away.

oh yeah...and stop goin' to movies!! LOL.

Seriously thou Kim...don't beat yourself up...but you have also got to be wise about this whole thing..kay? You CAN do it......you know you can.

[kimmason 0]

hEy guys thanks

BUt I do feel like I am failing and messingup badly and don't know if I can do this. I almost wish I was living with someone going through the same thing for moral support. I can't satnd the smells inthe kitchen when they cook and I take off to the computer in the basement. The popcorn went down easy although I could only eat half the large bag I usually get and I ate two hamburger patties, the ones from presidents choice that you nuke and have cheese in them. They were interesting, it felt kinda stuck a little when I think the piece was too large but not painful, so I chewed it up. I hate this full Fluid thing and being hungry is awful I swear. I literally am thinking about food more than ever and craving everyting I can't have. I hate to sound weak but boy I guess this is IT for me as far as my weakness in this world and sometimes I feel it has me beat. I used to think alcoholics etc. man are they weak poeple , "just stop drinking" but that they realy don't wan to, but I know I am addicted to food, it seems to have run my life for so long ad look at the prices I / perhaps you have paid..with health, for me a job and relationships , being reclusive all because of food. I dunno, I am finding this really tough. I am eating yogurt again and going to try to get back onthe wagon...but boy I would love a night at the MANDARIN in Barrie!

I read about people living in the same communtiy who get together and meet or go walking and I wishI was closer to some of you here. I mean YOU guys in the canadian group are my support system and I tried the other band the canadian one that sends threads all day, but I just don't feel the same connection there and so far I cannot relate to folks talking about plastic surgery etc... Yoda, Cloe, Argon, wheezy, jude et all, Ifeel weak to say this but I do need your support right now and I am sorry to be a oain but I am finding this really tough.

[CLOE 0]

Did you call the clinic to see if you could eat more?

[kimmason 0]

No cloe, I didn't. I mean then I look like an idiot . Everyone else seems to be doing great and I just can't do it so early in the game.

[neenagh 0]

gee kim, i'm sorry you feel so bad right now, but remember that you don't have restriction yet. if its any consolation, i screwed up large on friday, and feel awful tto. Let's both try to be better!

[CLOE 0]

neenaugh.......................................................are all the children in your neighbourhood accounted for?

[Yoda 0]

neenaugh.......................................................are all the children in your neighbourhood accounted for?

LOL @ Cloe. Yeah Neenagh....are we gonna have to pump your stomach for kiddie bits?!!

[neenagh 0]

neenaugh.......................................................are all the children in your neighbourhood accounted for?

*burp*i refuse to answer on the grounds it may incriminate me*rubbing distended belly*

[kimmason 0]

okay I am lost....neenagh..are you pregnant?man you are so small compoared to me already, and you haven't even had surgery yet???

[neenagh 0]

lmao, nononono! I have been threatening to eat the kids that come into my library!

[kimmason 0]

oh neenagh, lmao..okay so your like the witch in Hansel and Gretal? lol