Okay, this is a pretty long story but I really need some guidance, and am having second thoughts about my second thoughts. My journey for the sleeve began in oct 2010, I made an appt to go to a seminar to an MD that was an hour away from my home, but he was rated a great Dr. and the hospital was a center of excellence. My husband and I went and decided to wait a bit and get some more information, I kind of felt as they were not really interested in "our" well being but just to make a $. Besides the surgeon wasn't there that night, we were told that he never takes a vacation and this was the week that he decided to go. So we waited and before I knew it it was april or so, so I called again to the hospital to get more information about the surgery and

I was told why don't I go to the hospital that is only 15 minutes from my house. I knew there was the same named hospital closer but when I told the staff that I wanted a hospital and Dr. that were from a center of excellence she told me that "the only thing that makes a hospital a center of excellence is the number of surgeries that the hospital performs, and that the closer hospital was very close to that number". At this point I decided that I would continue really persuing the surgery at the closer hospital.So again i was told that it had been more than 6 months and they suggest goin to another seminar and to meet the surgeon, again my husband and I attended. Two days later I was at work,( I work for a different hospital that had JUST started doing sleeves, and I did not trust them to do mine, I liked the doctors fine, but not enough experience you know, plus I didn't want the people I work with caring for me after surgery.)and I happened to see a doctor that I knew that had an ID badge with my hospital on one side and the "closer hospital" on the other, so I asked his opinion, "What do you think of Dr. ----?" and he said "he doesnt work there any more".I said that's impossible I just went to one of his bariatric seminars two days ago, he said I'm not sure about the name, sorry I might be mistaken", but I could see he was racking his brain that he couldn't remember for sure. I went about my day and then later he came up to me and said "whatever you do, DON'T HAVE THE SURGERY WITH HIM!!!!!! I can't go into more detail with you about it but just trust me on this'. He even told me to go and have the surgery with the original Dr. in the hospital an hour away instead. I was totaly freaked out. Neadless to say I never heard from that Dr. again, I didn't call the office to persue the surgery with him. Around May or June I got a letter from his office stating that all of his patients had been refered to "the original Dr. at the Original hospital", i't seems this Dr. has fallen off the face of the earth, I cant research him anywhere.Strange Huh, wait it gets better! Now my husband decides that he is going to come to my hospital and see the Dr.'s there, because now they have launched a "bariactric Dept". so he goes and meets with the Dr. for the first session and likes him. Less than a month later this Dr. DIES IN A HOUSE FIRE!!!! Okay, I dont know about you but now I am feeling like this is a bit too much of someone trying to tell me something, like I am not supposed to be doing this. BUT I have REALLY REALLY REALLY WANTED THIS for sooooooo long. So I decided that I would make the one hour drive to see the center of excellence doctor and hospital. I started by again going to the seminar which is required in August of 2011. Then as per my husbands insurance requirements of 6 months "OUR" first appt with the nutritionist was in Sept 2011, we went every month for 6 months and were finally finished in Feburary 2012.( My starting weight was 275 and I completed at 237. I had lost 38 pounds on my own, with just the nutritionists help)In January 2012 I had the Pychological requirement, ($300.00 out of pocket later). In the end of January 2012 my husband had gotten a new job, and that insurance didnt require 6 months of nutrition, just 5 years of documented obesity. so I provided all the information and the doctors office submitted my papers, ALL OF THEM. I WAS DENIED!!!! Apparently one of my doctors about 5 years ago stated my height as 5'8" and with the weight documented ,it pushed me out of the range,(this was the doctors office that I had to wait three weeks for them to have their records pulled from storage). I was crushed, and it sent me into a depression, at first I said I am going to appeal to my coordinater when she told me(forgot to tell you, the person who knew me really well and even remembered me from the year before, left to have a baby and I had to deal with someone who didn't really even know the job)I am 5'6",235 pounds, so I decided NO surgery,there were too many obsticles.my husband said to me "honey I have never seen to give up on something so fast, you are not a quitter but lets look at the history.

1- first I picked a hospital too far.

2- then I choose a closer hospital, doctor falls off face of earth.

3 -then I chose to go to MY hospital, doctor tragically dies in house fire.

4 -decide to go back to original hospital (far far far).

5 -go thru 6 months of nutrition counsiling.(driving 1 hour each way for a 20 minute session)(don't mind now, because I lost 38 pounds and learned alot)

7 -husband changes insurance,need to wait for new insurace to kick in

8 -need to wait for old primary to get records from storage to come in

9- denial letter for **1** episode of wrong height!

At this point I really thought that there was someone trying to tell me something. I mean how many obsticles have to be thrown in front of you before you get it? Please understand I know there are people out there dealing with way worse things than this, and I am not trying to take away from them. I really just need some advice and help with this decision, the surgeons office called me this week and asked me about the appeal letter I said I was going to send, and I told her I needed some more time. I am having second thoughts about NOT having the surgery now, at first I was relieved and felt like it was the right decision, but now I am second guessing myself. My husband is supportive and will go with anything I chose to do but I am confused now. I see the scale going up little by little because I havent been following my rules, I spent money on all those little bowls and dishes, and measuring cups and containers. I don't know if I can do it on my own like I thought I could when I got the rejection letter. Anything you guys can say will be a help I have been following this website for over a year, and I know that it has helped me and given me inspiration in the past, now I really need it. Blessings to all of you, as your journeys start, are in process or are completed.

A true friend in need, Adele

My advice is to go through all the necessary steps and make your surgery date in January. Between now and January get on Nutri-system. Honestly Nutri-system worked for me. The only reason it stopped working is because I stopped working and I couldn't afford it anymore. My stomach got smaller just with me training it to do so. It may sound dumb but the sleeve was a cheaper and easier option. Now maintaining the weight is going to be much harder for u but it can be done. I've watched my mother maintain a 100 pound weight loss for years.

The reason I give you this advice is because I truly believe in signs.

Adele, I'm also struggling to decide if I'm going to go through with the surgery too. Back in 2008, I decided to get the lap-band and chickened out, but the nutritionist's suggestions led me to achieve a 111 pound weightloss ON MY OWN. Sadly, I had gained it all back by 2011, so I'm knocking on the WLS door again. Just like last time, I'll complete all the requirements and pray that I'll have a revelation again, or I'll actually have surgery this time. I'm also a nurse, and I'm amazed at how it's so difficult for us to make a decision that will ultimately save our lives. I pray that you find peace in whatever you decide. God Bless you.

I suggest going through with the appeal. Writing a letter is the easy part. If you wait yet again, the credit you're getting for taking the nutrition classes and psych will expire & you'll be at square one again. It's worth the trouble if it will significantly affect your health in a good way!