Chrissy, remember we are not perfect, just forgiven. It has taken 22 years to develop the habits that you have, 4 times isn't bad at all. Unless it was 4 times in 4 hours(hee hee). Try not to be so hard on yourself, I think this journey is going to have it's ups and downs, focus on the good, not the bad, and give yourself time to adjust. Good Luck,and stay strong.
Adele