Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Relationship With Hubby..better Or Worse After Sleeve Results?



Recommended Posts

Disinterested in me romantically that is. We are still best friends. It just seems almost platonic...and I definitely NEVER feel appreciated anymore. It more about what I haven't done then what I have.

And in all honesty....I went off on him this morning for saying that i looked "fine." He totally didn't get why I was upset and looked at me like I was totally overreacting, which set me off even more. To which I just said 'whatever' (the quintessential 90's kid response) and went to work.

Nevermind that I spend hours getting my hair done to look "pretty" to him and he tells me he doesn't like it. I got it done last week and when I can home he immediately had a concern about the color and never once said it looked good. It looked "fine." I get my eyebrows waxed, lip waxed (which is freakin painful, but I do it...) AND have lost 45LBS!!!!! I don't get it.....I do everything I can to make myself the best I can be (let alone being really successful at work and making sure to include his family in everything and Celebrate their events when he won't even do the tasks I ask him to do to help me) and he just doesn't seem to appreciate any of it. The last thank you I got was a few weeks ago when I made meatloaf for our friends that came over. Previously he had asked me not to make it anymore because my last meatloaf made him sick.

I'm sorry...I'm just venting...its just been a lot to take in lately.....I blew up this morning.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Disinterested in me romantically that is. We are still best friends. It just seems almost platonic...and I definitely NEVER feel appreciated anymore. It more about what I haven't done then what I have.

And in all honesty....I went off on him this morning for saying that i looked "fine." He totally didn't get why I was upset and looked at me like I was totally overreacting, which set me off even more. To which I just said 'whatever' (the quintessential 90's kid response) and went to work.

Nevermind that I spend hours getting my hair done to look "pretty" to him and he tells me he doesn't like it. I got it done last week and when I can home he immediately had a concern about the color and never once said it looked good. It looked "fine." I get my eyebrows waxed, lip waxed (which is freakin painful, but I do it...) AND have lost 45LBS!!!!! I don't get it.....I do everything I can to make myself the best I can be (let alone being really successful at work and making sure to include his family in everything and Celebrate their events when he won't even do the tasks I ask him to do to help me) and he just doesn't seem to appreciate any of it. The last thank you I got was a few weeks ago when I made meatloaf for our friends that came over. Previously he had asked me not to make it anymore because my last meatloaf made him sick.

I'm sorry...I'm just venting...its just been a lot to take in lately.....I blew up this morning.

I am sorry you are going through this. Maybe he is worried that he is going to lose you and is going about it the wrong way. He might think that someone will steal you away from him. I think you need to have a conversation with him about how he is acting. It isn't cool.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well my situation is probably a bit different because my husband is a chubby chaser! He loves a big ass & when we met I was already heavy....probably exactly where I am right this minute. He is extremely supportive & says he loves me whether I weigh 500 lbs or 100 lbs so only time will tell. But last night he said I can't believe o get you for my whole life, so I'm not terribly worried! We have an amazing relationship. One of my friends told me last week that she dreams of having a marriage like ours :) That's so nice to hear!

For those of you who are struggling, I am sincerely saddened to hear that your success & happiness comes with a price. JoieBean - that sucks :( Hopeful that it turns around!! (((Hugs)))

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I married my husband almost 10 years ago and I was 220. When I had surgery in Nov I was 233. He loves me for me and always have. He had a hard time with me getting the surgery because he was scared and the first couple of weeks he hovered and worried a lot. Drove me insane, but I knew its because he cared. After 2 months and no complications he completely backed off and was back to his easy going self. He does tell me I smile more often and that makes him really happy, I tell him that I didn't smile before because the fat was weigh down my cheeks and it was hard to smile, but now its easier..lol. But asides from his over protectiveness in the beginning, nope nothing has changed.

Other people on the other hand, treat me completely different. People are nicer to me, doors are held when I am walking into stores, stuff that never happened before. Which is really sad how much worse people treat fat people :(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was 100 lbs lighter when I met my husband and he has loved me the same for the past 7 years. He was nervous about the surgery and really had me reconsider surgery for several years. He has been very supportive since the surgery and is trying to eat better himself. He has always been a normal weight.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • ChunkCat

      I have no clue where to upload this, so I'll put it here. This is pre-op vs the morning of my 6 month appointment! In office I weight 232, that's 88 lbs down since my highest weight, 75 lbs since my surgery weight! I can't believe this jacket fit... I am smaller now than the last time I was this size which the surgeon found really amusing. He's happy with where I am in my weight loss and estimates I'll be around 200 lbs by my 1 year anniversary! My lowest weight as an adult is 195, so that's pretty damn exciting to think I'll be near that at a year. Everything from there will be unknown territory!!

      · 2 replies
      1. AmberFL

        You look amazing!!! 😻 you have been killing it!

      2. NickelChip

        Congratulations! You're making excellent progress and looking amazing!

    • BeanitoDiego

      I changed my profile image to a molecule of protein. Why? Because I am certain that it saved my life.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • eclarke

      Two years out. Lost 120 , regained 5 lbs. Recently has a bout of Norovirus, lost 7 pounds in two days. Now my stomach feels like it did right after my surgery. Sore, sensitive to even water.  Anyone out there have a similar experience?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Eve411

      April Surgery
      Am I the only struggling to get weight down. I started with weight of 297 and now im 280 but seem to not lose more weight. My nutrtionist told me not to worry about the pounds because I might still be losing inches. However, I do not really see much of a difference is this happen to any of you, if so any tips?
      Thanks
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Clueless_girl

      Well recovering from gallbladder removal was a lot like recovering from the modified duodenal switch surgery, twice in 4 months yay 🥳😭. I'm having to battle cravings for everything i shouldn't have, on top of trying to figure out what happens after i eat something. Sigh, let me fast forward a couple of months when everyday isn't a constant battle and i can function like a normal person again! 😞
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×