Critizing The "old" You

[eylish 23]

I am getting my sleeve in March. My mother is very supportive, even to the point of helping me pay for it, only because she can't stand to have a fat daughter.

What do you say, or has it even happened to you, when people think back and say "can you believe you were that HUGE!!"

My thing is, at 277lbs, I can take off 20lbs and put them right back on and no one notices, but if I get thin and put 5-10 back on I don't want the "ohhh remember when you were big, you don't want to go back there stare."

Alana

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,281]

I think an important part of this journey is learning to ignore others opinions of us and simply learning to love ourselves for who we are. Make sure you are doing all this for YOU because really that's the only human life in this world that you have the real power to do anything with.

Blessings!

[Helen the Cat 42]

Alana,

I am 8 months post op, and down 100 pounds. Everyday I struggle with the thought that I might gain it back. I am scared to death that I might gain. And somehow, my old friend--- food--- always pops up to comfort me. I struggle not to eat junk food when I am worried about weight gain. Doesn't make sense does it? I am trying so hard to break the habit of turning to food when I am stressed. It is a life long habit, and SO hard to break!!!

I was 258 pounds at my highest. I am now 158 or 159 depending on the day. But some days I actually go up to 160 or 161. Those are the days it is hardest to stay away from the foods that have always comforted me. I tell myself over and over that I shouldn't eat ___________ (you fill in the blanks, it might be Twinkies, HO-HOs, mashed potatoes, ice cream, etc. But for sure it is a comfort food.) But somedays I just can't stop myself. It makes me worry about my long term success. Every one says how well I have done, but they don't know I am scared spitless that I might wreck it and eat my way back up to 250+ pounds.

The main reason I continue to frequent this forum is that it helps me keep my determination to stay where I am and continue to lose. I am so thankful for the wonderful people here who encourage me to keep on this path I started in June. Best of luck on yur journey!

[lsereno 2,525]

Having WLS is kinda like being pregnant. Everyone has an opinion and many, many people think it is important to share that opinion with you. I have heard it all I think. Diva is right. You have to develop a thick skin and a way to deal with comments that is best for you. For me, that doesn't include being snarky back. That just makes me feel worse. Instead, I try to reason with those I care about and I simply ignore those I don't care about by cutting the conversation short.

I too am afraid of weight regain. My opinion: By the time you get thin you will have heard so much that you won't really care about other's opinions as much. You will care more about weight regain for yourself, not what others think.

Lynda

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

People are always opening their mouths without thinking how they are hurting the other person. I think it's time to look inside ourselves and know that we are working hard to get to where we all. If you don't believe this, look at your body, that's evidence of your hard work. We might gain a lb or two, but we can also refocus ourselves and loose the lb or two that we gained. Visiting this site helps keep us focused. Smile b/c today is a beautiful day. Look at all the wonderful people on this site.

[MegInNOLA 531]

When you have the sleeve, you have a lifelong tool to help you control your weight.... very different from pre-op.

And seriously, if you get thin, gain 5 pounds, and someone says something snarky, okay. There's really nothing you can do to stop anyone from saying anything. :-) You'll still be thinner and healthier than you are now.

It's like the old story of someone who doesn't want to go back to school as an adult because they'll "be 45 when they graduate." Well, yeah, but they'll be 45 at that point in time anyway--why not do what's good for you?

I'm also petrified of regaining weight, but I'm just going to trust my sleeve and my due diligence (keeping on top of what I weigh every couple of weeks), and I know if/when I need to drop weight, I can do that.

[eylish 23]

Thanks Ladies, I can't wait to get my sleeve and when I do I am going to be rocking it. lol

[Lissa 2,631]

Eylish, I do believe you will rock your sleeve!! Good luck and don't let other people get you down. I know that I have at least 20 people watching my progress with a jaundiced eye, because I have a huge family. I just can't let those people be my reason for either getting to goal or not getting to goal. It ALL has to come from withn! That's why VST is so great. I can tell people here anything about my weight progress and SOMEONE here has done it too, from weighing too often, to eating too much and sliming, to fitting into a dress I never thought would go over my butt!

[JayhawkJess33 25]

Well said girls! I know 100% this is something I will always have a fear of. I haven't even been sleeved yet, but I know ME. I also wonder about what people's comments will be as I lose, positive or negative.......I too can lose 20 lbs and no one can tell so I wonder WHEN people will notice too. When it comes down to it, it doesn't matter if or when anyone notices but it sure is nice to hear! I have reached a point in my life where what people think doesn't matter as much to me and I know that I am doing this for MY LIFE and my family, which makes what they think matter even less!

Eylish, we are sleeve sisters - my surgery is 3/20 also!! We are also almost exactly the same starting weight and goal weight too! How tall are you? Would love to keep in touch and hear all about your process. PM me if you want!

[Lyra 43]

When I told my friends/family I prefaced it by saying, "You dont have to agree with someone in order to be supportive of them". Some great conversations happened after this that really opened all of our eyes. It's hard for people who are not heavy to understand what life is like....and sometimes we who are going bravely forth don't understand the fear that our loved ones feel for us going 'under the knife'. Sometimes through conversation you can understand each other's points of view, and sometimes you will have to agree to disagree. I think telling my friends/family was harder than actually deciding to have the surgery itself!

Good luck and continue to rock your sleeve! All the people who are giving you flack about your choice now, will be sayign "I told you so" when you reach your goal!