I am still struggling with putting the fork down. I was raised to finish your plate. I am really very full and HAVE to finish those last 3 bites. Anyone else dealt with this? How do I STOP?!

I had to learn to put less bites in my plate so I could finish it without discomfort. If I needed a few more bites, I could always add a few at the end. It works for me. I was from the clean plate club too. HTH

I haven't had my procedure yet, but I definitely have this problem. I just can't stand to leave food on the plate. It's not really that big of a problem for me at home, but if we go out Look Out. If it is a large amount, I ask for a box. If it is just 3 or 4 bites, I usually go ahead and eat it and make myself sick. I guess after my surgery, I will ask for the box up front and put everything in it but a few bites; that way maybe it won't be so hard on me. I already throw-up very easily now, so I know I will have to take it slow and easy then. My poor Hubby, he thought since I can't have any more babies he wouldn't have to put up with me throwing up restaurant meals anymore. When I told him than one bite too much and it came back up he was like," oh no, not again!" (I threw up the entire pregnancy all four times I was expecting)

when I go out to eat, I usually take bites from his plate.... It saves me the cost of a meal. Love it. When I do take it home, I just take a few bites of everything, and send the rest back if I order something small. At home I bought some really cute desert plates that I put my food on. It helps me take smaller portions. It has been really helpful!

Yes, I was raised as part of the "clean plate club" and we were punished for not eating our food. And we didn't get normal portions - my family would pile the food on for the kids and be angry when we were unable to finish four times the normal amount of food! It certainly contributed to my teen/adult obesity.

I've had to grow away from my growing up a bit and accept that nobody is going to punish me for not eating my food. It's okay to share food, to put it in a doggie bag for later, or even to throw it away if you absolutely cannot eat it. I had to learn that it's okay to have a plate with just a few bites of food on it and there's no need to overload a dinner plate with food I couldn't possibly eat.

To prevent waste, I try to limit my portion at the beginning of the meal. If we're eating out, I usually order an appetizer and share with the table, or I share a meal with my husband and ask for an extra plate. At home, I grab a bread or dessert plate and only put what I think I can eat on the plate. It's okay to go back for more if I still have room but this almost never happens! For me, learning to stop eating was a bit easier because I got physically ill if I overate. That feeling gets old fast, so you learn to stop doing it, even when your brain is screaming that you need to finish your food.

It's something you'll simply have to practice. Some people (my MIL who hasn't had surgery, for instance) do things like place a napkin over the whole plate so it's "gone" from her sight. My mom pours salt all over her food when she's done if she's not going to save it because it keeps her from going back for more. I simply remove my plate from the table as soon as I'm done eating, and if I'm up to it, I rejoin my family and chit chat while they finish their meals.

Best of luck. I understand this issue all too well. It can be done away with, though. I admit that sometimes I still have trouble because we were raised not to even leave leftovers and to keep on eating until it's all gone. When it gets hard for me, I remind myself that by breaking this cycle I'm not teaching this very bad habit to my children.

And it's totally off topic but my opinion is that for so many of our parents and family members that did this (for us it was my grandfather who pushed food) it's a control thing. It was a battle of wills and a total control game for my grandfather, who did it to my mom when she was young and then he did it to us as kids, too. And of course she didn't know any other way so she just repeated the process with us even when he wasn't around. It was just one of the many pieces of baggage I've had to shake off in this post-op journey!

You'll feel better for overcoming this one. Practice makes perfect, so start by making smaller portions and then by being okay with not finishing if you have a few bites left on your plate.

~Cheri

The clean plate club was a bad thing. In my grade school, we were also encouraged to go back for more after cleaning our plate so I took a double hit. No wonder then that I really started packing it on when I turned 8.

I've found it easy to work through my clean plate issues at home - smaller plate and a measured portion. When dining out I purposefully choose small dishes most of the time and I've come to terms with the focus being on the Protein. If I like the protein (or if it is destined for my dogs), I will take the part I can't eat to go. Otherwise, I've pretty much come to terms with the idea that the food is already wasted when cooked. Therefore, I can eat it or not eat it and it won't make a difference to any one else. The amazing thing about the surgery and my perception is that almost all restaurant portions now seem so gigantic to me that I can't fathom EVER having been able to eat them (of course I did). That somehow also takes pressure off me to finish.

I was raised on the clean plate club, too! Just thinking about that brings back memories of the chart in our classroom. Of course, back then I ran all day, rode my bike everywhere, played volleyball, basketball, and ran track. I needed all that food just to live. Nowadays, I drive my car and don't participate in any sports, no wonder I ended up obese!

My solution has been to eat off smaller plates. I use the saucers from my dinnerware and I use tiny silverware to eat. That makes me keep my bites small. I'm bad about cooking too much food, but working on getting better. I actually bought some tiny pots at Bed Bath and Beyond that work either on a burner or in the oven. I also got myself a small 1.5 quart crockpot. I made Beans in it a few days ago, and just keep the crock part in the fridge so I can dish up a half cup or so at a time.

When I eat out, I ask for a box when I order and put at least half of the meal in the box right away. I also try to order foods I don't cook often when I go out. I'm not going to fix a whole slab of ribs for just me, so I'll order a rib dinner and have food for several days (lunch and dinner).

I find that I'm more adventurous with food these days. I'll try something completely different because I know I'll only eat a few bites. If I hate it, I leave it at the restaurant. If I like it, that gives me a new Protein source!

When I get that full feeling and I still have food on my plate I get up and either put in back in a container if it is something that you can keep or I get up and take it to the garbage can. I know that it does not seem right to throw away food but it is not like I am throwing away a pound of sirloin. I have never eaten so cheap so I do not feel guilty about throwing food away.....and it usually is not more than a couple of ounces. Those extra bites will lead to you stretching your sleeve so soon you will not have trouble eating those extra bites and soon you will be eating even more extra bites. I know that it is a hard habit to break but at least you are not going back for seconds.......keep trying your best.

I find that I do my best if I weigh my food before I even put it on my plate. It seems if I just eyeball/guess at the amount to put on the plate I always put too much and then I try my darndest to "clean my plate". But if there is only 3-4 ounces on the plate, then I do clean my plate. Hope this helps.

Now that I'm eating alot less food and have learned to take very small portions. I find myself watching my spouse eat. He is quite an eater. He just keeps eating and eating and eating. It is really bothersome for me because I am afraid of loosing him. He couldn't even walk the mall hardly yesterday. He weighs 230lbs and is 5'9". He is 68 years old. He doesn't really exercise. And he won't. It's like a disaster waiting to happen. I don't know how to get him to increase his exercise. He tells me that he's tired. Is anyone else struggling with this issue. I know it's my problem.

As I type, I have a 1/2 c. Glad plastic container on the table next to me that used to hold a few cheese straws that I ate for Breakfast. I use this size as a good measure of what I can eat comfortably--if I'm still hungry, I can always go back, but most of the time, when I've eaten that 1/2 c. of food, I'm not hungry, and I can stop without feeling overfull. I also hate the feeling of having eaten too much, and my sleeve has and will reject even friendly food if I eat one tiny bit too much, so I don't.

Use a measuring device. I still cannot eyeball a proper volume, even after 9 months. The only time this is hard is when we're eating out for business, and even then, I just really undereat on purpose. For instance, we just went on a business trip where it would have been socially awkward to measure my food, so I ate VERY little for the five days we were on the road--it would have been extremely uncomfortable to overeat and have to go be sick in that setting, and I just wasn't able to risk it. I mostly split food with my husband (who has also been sleeved but can eat quite a bit more than I). We got a couple of comments from our colleagues about how little we were eating, but I was able to truthfully say that I don't like to eat a lot when I'm working on the road--I like to stay sharp and not feel full and sluggish, and that was accepted with no further discussion.

The "clean plate club" is a hard thing to overcome. Once I realized that there will be food to eat when I am hungry again--we're not out of food, and we're not going to run out of food--it became easier for me to relax about it. I don't have to eat like this is the last time I'll see this particular food. I can get more. We are a very blessed society, but that comes with its own set of issues, doesn't it?

I am so glad that I am not the only one in this club! I have made sure to tell my children that they have to stop eating once they are full. My husband is from the clean plate club and he is trying to break that cycle too. He sometimes tells our 5 year old daughter that she needs to finish her plate, but I just give him "the look" and he reminds himself and her that if she is full, she is excused. It's so hard, we hate wasting food but we don't want our kids to develop poor eating habits either. I will definatley try the food measuring for myself. I bought a kitchen scale and haven't put it to use yet!

Thanks for all the advice and support!

I love my food scale. It is so much more accurate and it can be easier than measuring once you get used to it. Mine has a zero function (I think most do), so I put my plate on it, zero it out, then add 3 oz. of Protein. I also measure my yogurt for my morning shake like that. Put the blender on it, then zero it and spoon it 227 grams of yogurt (1 cup).

I was trying to eat to much because I thought I should, but I got over that and went back to drinking a Protein Shake. Our tummies all heal at different rates. I can get in enough protein now, but it took a few months before I could cut out the Protein shakes.

I'm from the clean plate club, but it only bothers me at home. We served ourselves and were expected to eat what we put on our plates. My parents did not make me clean my plate at a restaurant because even then they served a lot of food! I have no problem leaving stuff on my plate at the restaurant!

Lynda

ahh yes, the clean your plate, there's starving children everywhere. Yeah. That's a hard one to overcome. I've started making sure to always leave something. Smaller plates definitely help.

I am only using small plates and bowls. I also had to make a conscious decision (long ago) to just go ahead and put food in the trash. It has taken some time, but I really don't care anymore.

My husband is still in the clean plate club, which is upsetting when I am losing and getting my act together but he is not. He is NOT a big man, by any means, as he wavers between normal and overweight per BMI charts, but he IS eating stuff he really doesn't want to eat.

I keep encouraging him to practice throwing stuff away and noticing how quickly he forgets about it. As in, it doesn't cause lasting upset to throw away food.

I also reminded him that he can either throw away the food, or throw away part of his life. And also how he feels more miserable when he eats beyond full than he does when he throws away some unwanted food.

Get smaller plates? lol....sorry...couldn't help it. I hear ya on the finishing everythign on the plate, but can you control what is put on your plate? Maybe only put half of what you would normally put. Or only place what you can tolerate? That way you can empty your plate, but not at the risk of hurting you?