Cheating..No, not with food!

[Dena 2]

Well, I'll step up and be the not so normal one! Let me first say that I have been married for almost 17 years, and most of those have been great. We met in high school (we went to different schools) and got married right after graduation.....and we had a 3 1/2 year old son by this time. This is in no way an excuse on my part! A little ove 6 years ago, I began working outside of the home for the first time in 9 years. I met someone (who was a married friend of a co worker) whom we had lunch with a few times. He began calling (there were only two of us in the office and I answered the phones) and each time our conversations would get longer before he'd talk to my co worker. We had a lot of things in common and at the time my marriage was rocky....... I had already considered leaving. Our phone conversations and lunches (we were never alone at lunch) turned into meeting for a few minutes after work, just talking. These meetings got longer, altough we kissed and held each other, we never had sex. This "relationship" was very intense, but short lived. Intense being that this man told me over and over how much he loved me (his marriage was pretty much over at this point, and within about 6 months he was divorced) and that he wished we had met years before, etc.......I basiclly laughed at him and said there was no way he could love me, he didn't really know me......Anyway, my husband found out, and he left me (for a day/night). I was devestated, and he was in such pain, I couldn't believe that I could hurt him like that. You see, being married young, with a baby I never believed that he married me because he loved me......I never really wanted to get married, and dh will tell you that had we not had Josh we probably never would have gotten married. I talked him into coming home, we went to a marriage counsler and then I went to the counsler alone (I also was raped at 15 by two boys, one of which I knew and I never dealt with that)....and we both learned a lot about ourselves and each other. DH has said that maybe he didn't love me like he should have in the beginning, but at 18 who really knows what love is? I now know without a doubt that he loves me more than life itself, and I feel the same way about him. I do regret the pain I caused dh and kids, but I don't think had this not happened that we would still be together.

[Dody 0]

This forum is turning into an advise column......where do these subjects come from. Are they from lapband patients? That was a simple statement with no explanation just I think I might cheat. Well, I've thought about pizza for awhile now too, but I'm not going to have any.

Should I take this seriously or get back to the topics at hand on lap-banding?

[FunnyDuddies 6]

Dody, this topic is in the lounge which is where all topics that are not about the band belong. this topic is allowed, and I think that almost every aspect of our lives are touched by the band. Especially relationships. I think this topic is fine.

[the best me 6]

Non-cheaters here. I just asked hubby if he has ever cheated on me and he said, "If I had, now why would I say YES?" then he siad, "I don't even cheat on you in my dreams!" No, he's not a cheater. Neither am I. Gotta love it.

[Woodys 0]

Dody....if it offends you that some threads are off topic....then why do you visit them and even take the time to respond? Doesn't make much sense to me.

Anyhow....since I'm not totally consumed by my band and like to read other topics this goes to the rest of you....I am enjoying this thread and reading other's opinions and perceptions of cheating.

Carol

[biggame 0]

:nervous Dody.. Now that was funny

[Leila 0]

Dena, beautiful and touching story, thank you for sharing it. It shows that we all make mistakes, and when we do we can not only learn something from them, but build something stronger and better than before. You may have married young the two of you, but it seems that together through your years not only have you grown in love, but in wisdom too.

XO

Leila

[lisah25 3]

This forum is turning into an advise column......where do these subjects come from. Are they from lapband patients? That was a simple statement with no explanation just I think I might cheat. Well, I've thought about pizza for awhile now too, but I'm not going to have any.

Should I take this seriously or get back to the topics at hand on lap-banding?

From what I've read, heard and lived, one partner making changes like getting banded and losing weight can have a dramatic effect on the dynamics of the marriage.

So it seems appropriate. Since it's gotten a lot of responses, I have to think it was interesting to a lot of us.

[CLOE 0]

My husband and I have been married for 17 years, I have never cheated nor wanted too, either has he. However, since being banded, as I loose weight, when we "get together" I always tease him he's with another women, because theres always some where on me thats getting smaller!!

[vinesqueen 2]

I think this is entirely apporprate. So many people have been so large for so long that they might not appricate themselves at all stages of their lives. Some people think that they will only be sexy if they are size BLA, and not BLA+blarg.

Many people who've used their size as a shield against unwanted sexual advances are caught completely blindsided when they start to lose weight, or have lost a significant amount of weight. For the first time, they are no longer invisible. It can come as quite a shock for many people, when they start to attract attention, perhaps for the first time.

Someone posted that their NSV was they were asked to dance. Holy crap! Such a small think is such a major thing.

I've never cheated on my husband, nor has he cheated on me. Not even when we were physically separated while I was attending ISU in exile. We were only separated because my scholarship is for ISU, and it didn't make sense to uproot their lives.

How do I know he's never cheated on me? If you were to ever see the two of us together, you would never ask that question. You would never have to ask, nor would it even enter your mind to ask.

[ralheit 0]

My former husband cheated on me, but I must say that my current marriage is sound. We've been married for 7 years and there has been no cheating this time.

[socalgal3 4]

What's the difference between choice 2 and choice 4? I'm single........

[Wheetsin 714]

DH and I have never cheated on each other.

[Nana~ 4]

Guess Im the odd one out, both of us have cheated. However we were 16 and 18 when married and started dating when I was 13 him 16...So I think we were just young and curious, our relationship is is great now and we've been married nearly 13 years.

Most of the people our age that got married got divirced...We just grew up together

[DonnaB 3]

If cheating can be defined by participating in an activity you wouldn't want your spouse to know about, I'm definitely cheating on my husband.

I'm involved in a torrid affair with QVC AND HSN. I keep telling myself I'm going to give it up, but it just keeps becoming more and more intense. Now I'm moving on to 'the hard stuff.' I'm making regular trips where I drive by the mall and I just know I'm going to crumble and *gulp* GO INSIDE!

I'm going to get help. I promise. Now where is that remote control? Or my car keys.

(Jeez, am I getting paranoid or do I really have to explain every time I make a joke?) (Even in the lounge.) (Get a grip.)