Hey there,

I am going in for my sleeve on Nov.3 and I have only told a handful of people.... those being the people that will care for my kids and dogs while I'm having this done ( and my dad)

I have not made it public knowledge or even ever talked about the options of WLS to any of my friends. Now that I'm nearing the date and I am starting to think about the pre op diet... I am wondering if I should tell my friends..

None of them are overweight - at all.

I have lost 100 on my own and when I did, I managed to lose a couple friends along that way. Now that I've gained back a bunch - they are "friends" with me again. So I feel like the token fat friend in that situation. My real issue is that I know I will need emotional up port along the recovery path but I'm not sure that they have it in them to give it. Maybe I should just let them watch the fat melt off lol

any ways - I'm just wondering how you told your friends/if you told all of them and how your news was received.

Thanks

I've told a few close friends - one said go for it and the other said don't because she thinks WLS makes people unhealthy.

I've told my mom and my cousin - mom's supportive (she's had GBS) and my cousin is disappointed I think (she's currently trying to get me to diet with her following a plan that would make me insane).

I told my aunt and cousin (both have had GBS) but because they figured it out, not because I wanted to tell them.

I haven't told anyone at work but am mulling over telling a work friend. I've talked to her quite a bit about my food issues - she's a beanpole - literally is probably 5'11" and might weight 120 soaking wet, wrapped in an equally wet towel.

People are going to know something is up if one drops significant amounts of weight quickly so I figure I'll have to come to terms with it or make something up one of these days but for now denial is working just fine!

I told my doctors (3). Parents (2). My dog. You guys.

I will not tell my siblings or anyone else. That's just me.

I've told everyone for me my decision is just that MY DECISION lol ofcourse I received the your not even that big from everyone it seems like there's a stigma on obesity so my reply to them is but im not even that small one friend told me omg your going to look like star Jones my response to that is star had gb im having the band (now sleeve thank god I did more research) also im much younger than her my dr thinks that my facial features won't be drastically altered but my point is everyone is going to have a opinion or think they know your body better than you but in the end it comes down to what you want for yourself as my date nears closer Monday the 17th more of my friends are being supportive goodluck on your journey<3

The other women sound jealous.

I told my mother and she went mental. Others like my husband and daughter are supportive.

If your surgeons office offers a support group, I think you should join. People do treat you differently once you've lost a lot of the weight. You get noticed more and that brings up mixed feelings for some.

Good luck!

I told my husband and daughter and one close friend. AND THAT IS ALL AND I LOVE IT THIS WAY!!! No one at church knows, my parents don't know, my siblings don't know and no one at work knows. People say "hey, are you losing weight? You look great" and I say "yes, and I'm working really hard at it, thanks for noticing".

I wouldn't have it any other way. People are too judgemental and don't know how to keep their comments and bs to themselves. Just sayin.

If you search "to tell or not to tell" (and other variations) on this site, you will see a ton of responses. We don't all agree and that is ok. I have not had surgery yet and I have told only people that love me and want the best for me. Not all have agreed and we have dealt with it.

After surgery I will tell whoever asks. Thanks to a friend that decided to tell me about it when I asked her, I will beat obesity and hopefully live longer. I would like to pay it forward.

I've told my family and pretty much all my friends and co-workers. I'm an open book and I don't keep things quiet. But that's just me and how my family is. We never keep a secret about anything. My whole family is big and mostly all diabetics plus I have scoliosis, curvature of the spine. So people that know me know I want to be healthy and eliminate some of the back pain.

I told my family and my husband's family. I also told some co-workers and my friends. I did lose one friend along the way. I had no problem sharing the fact that I was having surgery.

I don't necessarily volunteer the information unsolicited, but if the context is appropriate, I tell whoever is there. I'm an open book as well, and feel like people are free to take it however they want. I've found almost everyone to be supportive and happy for me. I can provide info to people who are interested, and get info that I may not have found in other ways. For me, it's a win/win to tell.

I guess my fear comes from not wanting to be judged and that all my friends are tooth picks... one has been super supportive after I tod her this afternoon. She is struggling with the exact opposite issue and is not able to gain weight - so I figured she would understand... and she says that whatever makes me feel better about myself so that I can finally see me the way others see me.. then she's supportive of that

I have told my mom,kids and my husband to be. He really does not understand it. Well why should he, he has been thin all his life. My mom is happy for me she is just worried about me. I have told my co-workers all 3 of them and they dont get it. But I really dont care I just turned 34 and am done of with the yo-yo diets and i am getting married next year. and i want to be and AM GOING to be a hot bride!!!! I say this no matter what any one tells you, this is your life, your body, your mind do what is going to make you happy. I know as a big person i have done so many things for every one around me to make them happy and at some point you just have to say to hell with them what about me.. This would be the time. You will find out who your true friends are. Good luck on your new life...

I told my co-workers only because I think it’s kinda obvious when you’re gone for 6 weeks then come back and have lost weight and keep going. Told my Family but not my younger children they have flappy lips and there are some people that I would rather not know, but if someone does ask me directly I have had a tediously not to lie

I too posted this same type of question and the responses were very mixed. I have told my husband and children, my parents, my boss and two friends at work. That's it. Everyone has been so supportive so I have been very lucky. I did try to tell one friend, who is skinny, and she was so anti wls I just dropped the subject, there was no way it was going to end well. My surgery is hopefully going to be in Dec if not sooner. I meet with the surgeon next week. If afterwards I start to get questions about my weight loss then I will let people know. Maybe it will help someone else who might be considering it.

I told my sister, mother, and 6 friends. oh, and last weekend I shared it with some family. I don't mind letting family know but co-workers, church members, etc....nah, not so much. I'm not afraid of what they'll say I just don't want all of that attention. A small part of me thinks, what if I tell the world and then I never lose the weight. I know... silly thought but it's definitely something I've entertained.

Also, when I came back to work (I took 2 weeks off) several people noticed that I had lost weight but (1) it wasn't drastic; and (2) these were the same people that saw me drinking Slim Fast for 2 weeks for my pre-op diet. They assumed that's what did it. When I drink my chocolate Protein shake I hear, "that Slim Fast looks deliciuos or Nik, you're so dedicated and it's starting to pay off."

I told one neighbor of mine and my husband, and daughter, who lives with us. I have not told any of my siblings as they all live in different states and we only see each other 1-2 times a year. I had made my mind up to have the surgery and didn't really need to hear all of the horror stories that they would dig up on the internet and what not. I didn't tell my office either, even though I did need to take time off from work, 2 weeks. I just filled out the appropriate paperwork it never asked what kind of surgery I was having and my surgeons office didn't mention it on the paperwork they filled out.

I do not regret my decision to not include everyone in my choices. I attend my Dr support group when I can which meets once a month and also get alot of support through this forum. When I see my family over the holidays I may have a different opinion but for now mum is the word. My inlaws came to visit us for 10 days and finally about the 8th or 9th day my mother in law said you really don't eat much anymore do you? I just told her I was trying to cut back on portions and she said, well it is working for you, that is great. I didn't have to go into a long explanation or anything.