How is weight loss for people over 50? Can we still expect to lose 1 to 2 pounds per week with the band?

Green -

That was elegantly put. I too, was an early bloomer getting my first period, age 10, at Girl Scout camp, where an old "nurse" gave me PetoBismal and I was told not to tell anyone about it. I was terrified, taking care of myself in an outhouse, lonely and ashamed.

No one else was developed. Kids teased, my parents were embarrassed by my development, so I was. My mother screamed at me for not telling her about my growing breasts in 4th grade. We traveled to another town to get a bra, a horrible experience with my mother and a clucking, poking salesperson. I was mortified. I reached my full height of 5'0" by fifth grade. I was the second tallest that year. Yep, we're the same age.

I have tried, as my friend's daughter come of age, to present them with a rose and a positive outlook. I wish someone had been kind like that with me. Celebrating womanhood instead of making it a shameful process.

Maybe it isn't just the betrayals of the body, but of our family and how they treat puberty. Why not celebrate?

I have two stories:

My mother left me (age 4 months), my 2 sisters and my brother (the oldest at age 5) because she was tired of us. Over the years she has not been totally out of our lives. Even now at age 45, I still see her once a year or so and my siblings sometime see her more often than that because they live closer. My mother has two sisters, one of whom never married and has no kids, the other was married and had two sons. All 6 of them went together to have family pics done. My mother was showing my sister and me these 'family' pics when she made the statement, 'Yeah, the whole family just decided one day to get together and have our picture taken and here is the whole family.'... she says as she hands the pics to us. Seemed to me that the 'family' picture was missing 4 people but I guess I was looking at the pic differently than she.

When I was 28, I was the single mom of two girls. I decided college was the only way to have a decent life for my kids. I knew it was going to be extremely tough and was hoping my family would help me out. I went to my father and step-mother and asked if I needed household things, if they would be willing to help me out. Things like laundry detergent, shampoo, etc etc. NOT money. They told me how proud they were of my decision and yes, they would help if needed. I wrote my mother a letter (I had no phone and she lived an hour away) and asked the same of her. I figured this way it would not be to big of a burden to anyone. Two days later, I walked in my house to find her sitting at my kitchen table. She wrote me a check for $100 and told me I needed to get off of my lazy *ss and get a job and work myself to the top and walked out the door. (Of course, now I make about 70,000 a year and rub it in her face when I can)

My point is this: Just because they are your parent doens't mean you have to put up with their crap. There is a reason I only see my mother once a year or so. If being around your mother makes you want to overdose on carbs, maybe you should make an executive decision.

Kymcgill, your mother sounds like a toxic individual. Your story puts me in mind of a comment that a friend of my liked to say. He would say, 'you can choose your friends but your family is a curse sent to you from God.'

DynamoMini, my parents dealt with my early puberty by shipping me off to boarding school. My brothers got to stay at home with the family. My mother also assumed that I would continue to grow until I was sixteen and being a thrifty woman bought all my school clothes way too large. Not only was I a menstruating giantess when I was in Grade 5, I also had the additional humiliation of swimming in these huge clothes which never did wear out. I was still wearing them when I got expelled from boarding school in my terminal year of high school for smoking marijuana. By then I had become, you see, an extremely bitter and rebellious kid.

I think that it is wonderful that you make a point of welcoming other young girls into puberty with a celebratory rose. This is indeed a real kindness.

Debi: Good luck with all your tests! I had to have lots of tests too. I am so happy with my decision to have the lapband. It is a process and there are challenges along the way, but I would do it all over again. I am feeling better than I have in years and I expect that to continue. I wish you the best.

Reading your stories makes me thankful indeed for my devoted mother. I used to complain because she never sat down and told me what happens to girls when they start their periods, and she never told me about boys, even when I was engaged to be married. She worked for the health department and she gave my sister and me pamphlets!

In her defense, her mother died when Mom was in the 9th grade and her siblings were two very much older sisters who had already left home. She lived with her dad (who was an oil man) and he sure wasn't equipped to tell her anything. So she was just flat too embarrassed to say the words menstruate or sex after never having had anyone say them aloud to her.

I will never complain again about the pamphlets though, she did the best she could and she loved her children almost to a fault.

I also never thought I'd be glad I was the smallest person in my class all through school. I was always so envious of the taller, stronger girls! I had no idea that height could be a burden too. Turned out that I was pretty much a late bloomer (although I never did get very tall).

Dear Everyone,

You know it is good to share our stories. I, now, think, yes, it was awful for me but not as bad as some people have it. These are the experiences that form our life experience - we have the choice, now, how much we are allowing bad situations to interfere with living our lives today. I have many patterns of behavior I want to change in order to embrace a new lifestyle.

I kept waiting for my growth spirt, but that was all she wrote and 5'0" I was in fifth grade and still am today!

Chuckles,

I very much like your friends phrase :eek:

Kymcgill, your mother sounds like a toxic individual. Your story puts me in mind of a comment that a friend of my liked to say. He would say, 'you can choose your friends but your family is a curse sent to you from God.'

DynamoMini, my parents dealt with my early puberty by shipping me off to boarding school. My brothers got to stay at home with the family. My mother also assumed that I would continue to grow until I was sixteen and being a thrifty woman bought all my school clothes way too large. Not only was I a menstruating giantess when I was in Grade 5, I also had the additional humiliation of swimming in these huge clothes which never did wear out. I was still wearing them when I got expelled from boarding school in my terminal year of high school for smoking marijuana. By then I had become, you see, an extremely bitter and rebellious kid.

I think that it is wonderful that you make a point of welcoming other young girls into puberty with a celebratory rose. This is indeed a real kindness.

Dear Everyone,

You know it is good to share our stories. I, now, think, yes, it was awful for me but not as bad as some people have it. These are the experiences that form our life experience - we have the choice, now, how much we are allowing bad situations to interfere with living our lives today. I have many patterns of behavior I want to change in order to embrace a new lifestyle.

I kept waiting for my growth spirt, but that was all she wrote and 5'0" I was in fifth grade and still am today!

Chuckles,

Yep, being 5'6" was hell when I eleven years old but I would love to be 5'9" today.:eek:

Green! :heh: "You can choose your friends, but your family is a curse from God" is hilarious! I always thought the saying, "You can choose your friends, but not your family" said it well but Green, yours is much more accurate most of the time!

And Green, if I could be 5'9" (like my older sister) I would be much closer to my goal weight!! AND I could reach things on the top self of my cabinets. And it would be much easier to kiss my DH when I'm standing next to him. And a million other reasons why being 5'9" would be awesome!!!

I saw a funny quote recently. "Friends are God's way of apologizing for your family"! Hahahaha! :roll:

This is a great thread. I wish all those beginning their lapband journey good luck! It's a great adventure. The thing I love about the band is that the weight should be permanently gone. We are aiming for good habits and health. The band, when working properly (which can take a while for adjustments) is a great tool. It's not as hard to eat smaller portion when you're not starving. Now, the head hunger and the cravings are something else. They are part of the journey and the learning curve that occurs. But we are all intelligent woman with lots of life experiences. We can learn and grow with the best of them! I hope we can keep this thread going because I do think that older women lose a little slower and have a little different experience with the band and with exercise. We might be older, but we're just a wonderful and wise and anyone else!

I saw a funny quote recently. "Friends are God's way of apologizing for your family"! Hahahaha! :roll:

That's brilliant! :heh: :heh: :heh:

crabcake: That one is positive rather than negative. I like that!

Green! :heh: "You can choose your friends, but your family is a curse from God" is hilarious! I always thought the saying, "You can choose your friends, but not your family" said it well but Green, yours is much more accurate most of the time!

And Green, if I could be 5'9" (like my older sister) I would be much closer to my goal weight!! AND I could reach things on the top self of my cabinets. And it would be much easier to kiss my DH when I'm standing next to him. And a million other reasons why being 5'9" would be awesome!!!

I am pleased y'all like the saying. My friend who used to say this was none too happy with his family and I have often felt much the same way about my own family. My parents were very interesting people but they were not well equipped to be parents. They were smart and cultured and had lived through interesting (living in Europe during the war) times and I have profitted from that. They were also truly awful at understanding children and dealing with their emotional needs. I guess I am still dealing with that. This is why I made a point of never having children of my own.

Family dynamics are awfully strange. For years, I thought we were all so close and loved each other unconditionally. Once we (4 children) were grown, things became very complicated and competitive. Both my parents have died and my sister who was 13 months older than I, also died. My older brother and sister hardly ever talk to each other and although I email my brother and his wife, I hardly ever talk to my sister and her children. I never, ever thought I would see the day when I was estranged from a family member. I work hard to keep the lines of communication with my sister open, out of respect for my mother, but my sister is so wierd, and so volatile sometimes, I am kinda scared of her. Who needs to unleash those hounds?