BIG secret... good or bad?

[indy sleever 6]

I am a very private person and I have decided to share this journey with only my husband (and those of you reading this!). I am very close to my family and I have wonderful friends but I just don't want to let anyone in on my decision to have this procedure. I feel like a failure for all the times I have started a diet and had high hopes only to lose 10lbs and gain back 20. It has happened more times that I can count. Now here I am getting ready for this (8/18 is the big day) and I am just excited and nervous and sometimes in tears thinking "what am I doing?!"! I know this is the right decision for me. I still plan to let no one know about this procedure after it is done. Just me and my hubby :-) And he is so wonderful and supportive. How many of you out there have kept your surgery a secret? After your procedure did you end up telling people? Thank goodness for this site... I am going to need all of you to lean on! I go in a week from tomorrow. My new chapter can't begin soon enough!

[Rev Me Up! 75]

Hi there!

Some people tell, some people don't. I keep mine to myself. I had a lap-band befoer the sleeve and I didn't tell anyone about that either. I was a lower BMI and I didn't want anyone's opinion about what I was doing. You may find it difficult to explain why you eat almost nothing when you go out with friends, but I find eating communal food like chinese helps out a lot. You can just pick up a couple of pieces and it looks like you are eating more.

This is a very personal process. Some people find they are more comfortable talking about it once the weight comes off. To each his own, I guess.

For me, it remains a closely guarded secret. I may change my mind one day, but it just isn't my style to talk about medical stuff with other people. The one person I ended up telling after the fact was a friend of mine that is really struggling with her weight because of depression. She saw how much weight I lost and I couldn't look her in the eye and tell her I was just dieting. She is really in pain over her weight and a pending divorce and I didn't want to make the pain worse by pretending I had mastered the art of self control all on my own - because I did not.

Good luck!

[alejern84 0]

hello...I have told some just because I'm so excited to get this process going. Mostly close friends, coworkers and family members. I am also ashamed of this as I feel like I am failing for all the unsuccessful attempts at weight loss..I also have major fears of dying and leaving my one year old daughter...I don't know why it hits me so hard...I guess the only thing I'm worried about having told people that I'm thinking of getting the surgery is if it doesnt work and yet again I have failed..my stepmom already tells me I'm stupid for considering the surgery.....I do know though, that once I get my surgery date scheduled, the only people who will know is my husband and parents. Good luck to you in your journey!!!

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,281]

I was also a revision from Band to Sleeve. I told everyone and their Mamas about my Lap Band. It was moritying for me once I gained my weight back and while being on display. I just didn't want to go through that ever again!! I chose not to tell anyone (save for my hubby and close family!).

Well my weight loss was pretty dramatic and fast so I do get questioned on my method all the time. Sometimes I tell them, and sometimes I don't. I all depends on my mood at the time. It's my story to tell and if I don't feel like it at any one time, I don't even sweat it. It has nothing to do with anything except just not feeling like it really. I personally don't care what anyone thinks or whatever. If I do talk about it, everyone is really open to it though and haven't ever come accross any strange or negative feedback. Most folks seem to be more interested in hearing about it. I know this, so if that's usually how I decide whether or not I have the time to discuss it, or if I even want to.

Gawsh I hope I'm making any kind of sense right now...

Anyway so what I'm really saying is, do whats best for you always. Then if you change your mind later and choose to start opening up to others about it, that's ok too. It's your life!! Live it how you feel best.

[Khy 16]

Some people share, some don't. If you choose to share with your family be sure to mention that you feel like it doesn't need to go farther. I had to specifically tell my mother that she and my father are the only ones to know. She was all ready to ring up the family tree and let everyone know.

Khy

[Heather~ Sweetdreams 10]

it's a personal choice. I told everyone.. Family, friends, my bosses, and co workers! I have struggled with my weight for so long I knew they would be supportive. I've not gotten any negative responses, and everyone had been there for me pushing me, and loving me all the way through this! It's been such an exciting journey so far, and I can't wait til I get to see the new me at the end of loosing all this extra weight!

[missjanab 3]

i posted this response to in another forum jus a few minutes ago:

i'm getting sleeved tomorrow and i've only told my bf and a few trustworthy friends, neither one of my parents or sisters know, actually no one in my family knows. i've picked the person i want to call my mom in case something really bad happens and i mean really bad like hovering death.

i haven't really even thought about if they will be upset for me not telling them, maybe bcause they are prob going to be upset either way, if i tell them i'm having it they'll be mad cuz they don't want me to and if i don't tell them they will be mad i didn't. i guess it's kinda like that old saying, damned if you do, damned if you don't.

when people start noticing, i've got the perfect answer when they ask, i'm gonna say, "i finally decided to get off my butt and do something about it." they can take it how they want.

i think it is your decision wat you want to do and they can either support you or not, this surgery is about you and you only.

[longer-life 139]

I am very close to my family and I have wonderful friends

That is exactly the reason why I AM telling.

Before surgery I won't tell people at my daughters school, hairdressers acquaintances etc. Only close family & friends. After surgery, I will tell the truth to anyone that asks.

[Foxbins 625]

I told no one. I went to Mexico alone and left a letter in my house for the authorities to find if I died there and threw it away when I got home. It has been seven months since surgery and I doubt that I will ever tell. It's no one's business but mine.

[SeattleSue 25]

My immediate family -hubby, kids, mom, dad...and BFF, and a good friend who I am accompanying to do the same, and one trusted confident who happens to be a nurse...and also my PCP.

[Shoppingbeemom 31]

I haven't told my gp, my gastroligist or anyone that has said, "Oh, you look fine". I have told my husband,children,a cousin ( she had previous wls) and parents with instructions they don't tell anyone else. I have mean gossips in my family and in my oppion if they don't contribute to my life they don't need to know. I also regret telling my mom, she is afraid for me and cries when we speak of it.

[missjanab 3]

I told no one. I went to Mexico alone and left a letter in my house for the authorities to find if I died there and threw it away when I got home. It has been seven months since surgery and I doubt that I will ever tell. It's no one's business but mine.

you are a solider girl and i SALUTE YOU!

[indy sleever 6]

i posted this response to in another forum jus a few minutes ago:

i'm getting sleeved tomorrow and i've only told my bf and a few trustworthy friends, neither one of my parents or sisters know, actually no one in my family knows. i've picked the person i want to call my mom in case something really bad happens and i mean really bad like hovering death.

i haven't really even thought about if they will be upset for me not telling them, maybe bcause they are prob going to be upset either way, if i tell them i'm having it they'll be mad cuz they don't want me to and if i don't tell them they will be mad i didn't. i guess it's kinda like that old saying, damned if you do, damned if you don't.

when people start noticing, i've got the perfect answer when they ask, i'm gonna say, "i finally decided to get off my butt and do something about it." they can take it how they want.

i think it is your decision wat you want to do and they can either support you or not, this surgery is about you and you only.

Good Luck tomorrow... you are only a week before me! Keep us posted on how you are doing!

[ouroborous 519]

I told anyone who would ask, and have had nothing but supportive responses. I must say that I'm somewhat baffled to hear about people who judge or attack those who've had WLS. Why on earth should anyone who really cares about our well-being object to us doing something that will make us healthier and happier?

And why on earth should we care about the opinion of anyone that judgmental and ignorant?

[wondering1 103]

Hi. It's a big decision. I didn't tell my parents or my other family members. I didn't tell my pastor or anyone at chuch either. The only people that I told about my sleeve are my hubby and daughter. They are both very supportive. I just had my surgery Monday and told everyone else we were going on vacation for a few days. Good luck in whatever you decide.