Being Treated Differently

buchannon · July 11, 2011

I realize I have changed as well after losing weight. It'd be hard (impossible) not to. It's like this whole new world has opened up to me and I want to experience it rather than try to be the same person I was.

playing devil's advocate here....and hear me out.....does getting compliments now automatically imply some kind of criticism of before?

Yes, because no compliments were given before. I see it like I just inherited a big lump of money and everyone knows and is acting differently around me. Not necessarily a bad thing, but just curious how things change.

Shea · July 11, 2011

For me it's a two edged sword. I'm an african american female, 30 years old. In my culture being thicker is considered a good thing, many men find this attractive and have told me that they dont want me to lose weight, they like my curves, and no man wants to hold a bag of bones. On the other hand I'm also a college graduate and finding a good job has been difficult. The last interview I went on, I was top two out of a hundred and thirty people that applied, the final interviewer looked me up and down and kept staring at my feet and hands and I thought to myslef, "wow she's not liking that I'm overweight". I looked nice, my hair and nails were done, I was qulified heck I was top two, but her response to my appearance wasnt pleasant. No, I didnt get the job. This has been one of the factors of me wanting to make a change. I've been heavy all of my life and have done many diets, and because I see that the professional world is looking for the "look" of being educated, I will be that. I will be graduating with my master's degree next summer and by then I want to be confident on any job interview, I've put the job hunting on hold until I have the surgery and have lost a substantail amount of weight. It's unfair to have this kind of treatment. I hate the comments "But you have such a pretty face". This is like saying you're face is pretty but the rest of you is a pile of crap. I carry myself well, and I dress professional but I feel like the higher I go up on the ladder the more I'm going to be discriminated against not so much for being a black woman, but a heavy woman.

S311kyra · July 11, 2011

As a nurse, I have definitely noticed problems at job interviews. I have actually had potential employers ask me if I was sure I could handle being on my feet. Really? Before I graduated nursing school, I was a restaurant manager for years. You think being a nurse has you on your feet? Trying spending 16 hours on your feet, schmoozing customers, and running circles on a cooks line. Ugh. I might be big, but I can keep up with the best. Unfortunately, it's just one, of many, stereotypes that are rampant in our society. You just have to hold your head up and move on.