Thirtysomething women, no kids?

[jgandg 0]

I was wondering if there were any other women who are in their 30's with no children?

I'm 35, and maybe would like to have a child one day, but could not imagine being a mom in the shape I am in. Part of my decision to have lap band surgery is that if I am a mom someday I want to be an active one.

I'm also glad to have this choice, b/c the thought of being pregnant on top of what I already weigh freaks me out!

And then there are times when I'm not sure I want children, and that once I am fit again I'll want to enjoy life child-free.

Anyway, if anyone else is in the same boat, just holler!

[Josette 2]

that would be ME! I'm 31 with no kids. I want kids but decided to shed 200 pounds first. I can really relate to you.

[NewBeginnings2018 81]

Hi there! I'm 32 and single with no kids. It has nothing to do with the shape I'm in, but moreso that I haven't met Mr. Right. I'm having fun auditioning though. lol.

I definitely want children, and at this point only worry I'll be too old by the time I find someone and start trying. But there are things in life you can't control and this is one of them.

I am curious to see how/if my dating life changes after losing the weight. For years and years I've blamed not being married on my being heavy. But after just breaking up with my boyfriend of 5 years (who would not commit) about a year ago, and after dating since then, I realize that it's more about meeting the right person. And to be honest, if a guy wouldn't date me heavy, then I don't want to date them when I'm skinny! (Well ok, I may never be skinny, but when I'm "normal". lol)

Chris

[giveyouthemoon 4]

37 here and I would like kids but I'm having to face the real hard facts that may not happen (at least by me having them myself. Adoption is always a possibility). I had been with a guy for seven years but the bugger just could never figure out how to get serious. I've met a really wonderful guy (I attribute feeling so much better post band for the relationship), but after seven months, this guy is squirmy too about stepping up and being together for the long run.

I seem to draw these guys who can't figure out wtf they really want and I'm pretty tired of it.

[LapBandit 5]

I'm in the club as well! I'm 32. I agree that I don't want to lose weight to meet a guy who wouldn't give me the time of day right now. So, I hope that by me feeling better about myself that I'll be able to find someone nice one day. I can't wait to have a family, that's my goal. But, for this next year at least I am going to focus on me. Good luck everyone!

[Wheetsin 714]

30, no kids. I've been married over 8 years but for the first 6+ I was adamant about not having kids. I even tried to talk DH into getting snipped. Decided we wanted kids, someday... then decided I needed to be in better shape first. Having a child was my #2 reason for getting lap-band, second only to doing something about the weight before I started developing comorbidities.

[Midnightwitc6 0]

I'm 32, and raising my neice, but no children of my own. I'm more or less commenting on the not meeting the right person to have the kids. Yep I am single, however the freakest things are happening to me. So far on this band journey I've lost 56lbs. Yeah! The weird thing...men are freakin coming out of the wood work!! Scary! They are everywhere, the gym, at work, on the street. Funny how I looked at all these places before and there werent any. hehe (OK not the gym, you got me on that one, that's a post band hang out)

Anyone else getting attention they hadnt gotten before, and how are you handling it? :confused:

[Tricia K. 0]

Having a child was my #2 reason for getting lap-band, second only to doing something about the weight before I started developing comorbidities.

This sounds just like me. I'm 35 with no kids...although, I do have an 8 year old step-son. My husband and I hope to get pregnant at the beginning of next year.

[jgandg 0]

30, no kids. I've been married over 8 years but for the first 6+ I was adamant about not having kids. I even tried to talk DH into getting snipped. Decided we wanted kids, someday... then decided I needed to be in better shape first. Having a child was my #2 reason for getting lap-band, second only to doing something about the weight before I started developing comorbidities.

I'm in almost the exact same situation, except that I was never adamant about not wanting children. Only recently have I questioned it. I've been with my husband for 9 years, married for the past 18 months.

I think it's an interesting point in our lives for those of us going through this surgery without children. It's like this second chance to live life for US, alone, maybe with different choices than if we hadn't had the surgery.

[socalgal3 4]

36 here...no kids

[Leila 0]

37, together with my husband for 14 years, married for 11. Childless by choice. I've always loved kids, but never wanted my own, I knew that even as a young kid, and have never felt any differently. I enjoy my many neices and nephews. Happy that I met a man that felt the same, also really loves family and children, but also does not want to have/raise any. Happily had my tubes tied at 25. We make a great Aunt and Uncle team! We enjoy a lifestyle that wouldn't be really compatible with having a family. For those of you hoping to start a family post lap-band, I've heard that a lot of people become more fertile in the period they are losing weight, as hormones that are stored in fat are released as you lose. Sometimes that hormonal shift causes a shift in fertility... so be aware! :confused:

XO

Leila

[juliegeraci 7]

I am not in the same boat because I have children but I do understand about wanting to wait to lose weight. My doctor wanted me to lose weight so after 8 years I finally said to my new doctor, I want to get prego. He said, why the wait and I did. Don't let your weight stop you if you want to have a child. Its a long road sometimes to lose the weight first. If you want to lose the weight first the best advise I can give you is do that, get prego, then RIGHT AFTER YOU HAVE THE BABY.....LOSE IT! It is much harder and you can gain more weight, like I did after the birth of my first child...before having the second. Do not recommend that.

[lizzilo 0]

I belong in this group too.

I'm single with just my animals. No man in my life, although I would like one. I often wonder if I passed up my opportunity to have the happily married life to go to college and have a career. Hmm...

[TexasTerry 0]

I got married at 37. Was not real skinny, but immediately gained weight - This has been a yo-yo thing my entire life. I always suspected that my hormones were not in good balance, we never got pregnant. Yes, we could have gone to a specialist - it was just more like - if its meant to be it'll happen. I was not a spring chicken anymore either. I wish I could of had this 15 years ago. Things may have been different.

Terry:)

[TexasRose 0]

I'm 34 with no children...and dating. I think what intimidates me the most about going through this whole weight reduction process...with the potential of having plastic surgery - is then getting pregnant and stretching out everything that I worked so hard for in this arduous process. I know some people have a very easy time going back to their original weight - but I just do not see that as being possible with skin that has been stretched beyond 'normal limits' and through family history. Maybe I will change my mind when I meet "Mr. Right" but I feel self-centered when I think that I do not want a child because it will ruin the body that I have worked so diligently to obtain over all of this time. Does anyone else feel this way?