Serious Contemplation

[Brooklyn732 7]

So I was going back and forth with Aetna (well my surgeon’s office was) and finally got approved and my surgeons office gave me the date I wanted (December 20^th)…HOORAY!!

NOT so fast…Due to some family health issues and me having to be out of state to support my family, I had to ask for them to postpone my surgery…. L But it gets worse!! The earliest date they could give me was February 16^th!! I first met with my surgeon on Feb 23^rd so this would be almost a year from the time I originally started my process. Now for those who have read some of my posts you’ll know that I have been doing pretty good on my self-imposed pre-op diet and I’ve lost about 48lbs (I’ve been stuck for the last 4 weeks due to holidays, birthdays and just plain bad eating). And I took the advice of some of you and I’ve also started exercising again. I’ve started going to a fantastic “boot camp” type workout 4 days a week so while I’m not necessarily losing rapidly, I am toning up. But I’ve noticed that I am ravenous after working out and I’m making some bad decisions so I have to fix that…

Sorry I’m getting off track…

So my big issue is that I got a phone call from my surgeon’s office that as of December 31^st, my surgeon is retiring and I am going to have to get sleeved by 1 of 2 new surgeons with much less experience!! I was devastated! I couldn’t believe my bad luck! My surgeon has 150+ surgeries under his belt with 1 leakage. The new surgeons have MAYBE 35-40. But they have been sleeving alongside my surgeon for the last month and he personally assured me that he is confident in their ability.

My wife thinks this is a sign. I am undecided if I think it is too. But it has gotten me to start thinking that I’ve already lost 48lbs, I’ve started working out and I am doing the right things. I’m 5’9, 295 and I’d like to be 190 (and 5’11 but that’s never gonna happen…lol). I’m contemplating whether this is a sign that I should try to do it on my own. I am torn. I’ve had some good PM advice (thanks Mommy2girls and Christina@MIA) and I wasn’t going to post anything about this, but the decision is starting to weigh on me (pun intended) and I would love to hear what some of you think.

Am I just being silly? Is this just a manifestation of my underlying fear of the surgery? I have no clue. All I know is that this seems to be a crappy series of events that is really making me think.

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,281]

What you are feeling right now is 100% normal. Every single time I'd start to do it on my own and I was losing, I would think exactly like you are now.

However, here I am - Ex-Bandster and newly sleeved nearly 3 months ago. I am extremely glad I went through with it. I regret it NONE!!!

I do have to tell you though, getting the sleeve is a big decision to make. Make absolute sure it's something you want to do. IMO, I think you would rock the heck out of your sleeve if you're already losing as great as you are now. Here's the kicker though, the chances of you gaining your weight back are VERY slim. What are your chances of weight RE-gain without it?

Whatever you decide, let us know! I'm interested to find out.

All the very best to you, no matter which road you choose!!

[Tiffykins 672]

I do believe everything happens for a reason, BUT at the same time, I believe we are in charge of our destiny. I personally would still have surgery. Not sure on the surgeon situation, can you find another more experienced sleeve surgeon that can perform the surgery without jumping through all the hoops again?

I never had a problem losing weight. For me, it was the keeping it off. If you are disciplined enough to diet and exercise without the tool of VSG then yes, you can do it on your own. BUT, with a 95% failure rate of weight loss maintenance the deck is kind of stacked against use lifetime dieters.

I fought really hard to have VSG and was determined to not settle for RNY or the band. It took 3 months to get it approved, and battling insurance. I did have to go to a surgeon that didn't a lot of revision experience, but it was a risk I was willing to take. He had done other revisions, and band removals, just not a lot of them. I do not regret my decision at all.

It's a tough situation to be in, but I personally know myself well enough that I knew I'd gain weight back with surgery. Heck over a decade, I lost and gained back the same 400lbs over and over again. I'd lose 50, gain 60, lose 30, gain 25, etc etc etc. It was a never-ending, bitter cycle that left me feeling frustrated, and like a major failure. For me, when I found out I couldn't have my 1st surgeon choice, and self-pay was not an option, that doing the same thing over and over yet expecting different results was insane (some famous person's quote), and it rang true for me. I know that I could lose weight, but I wanted to keep it off for good.

Best wishes, and if you're religious, pray until you get an answer.

[Brooklyn732 7]

Thanks so much for the replies!! I am never usually an unsure person. In my job I am a decision maker but this sleeve thing threw me for a loop! LOL. But I know you're both right and I know the decision I have to make. I am going to get sleeved no matter what! Before I make the surgeon decision, I am going to meet with them and decide if I feel comfortable enough to stay with them. And the way I see it, the diet and exercise I'm doing now just makes it easier for me to maintain my weight loss after the sleeve. And between now and Feb I want to drop at least 25 more lbs. So I'll be going into surgery "halfway sexy"!! LOL. My goal is to get back to my Big Daddy Sexy! LOL. And once I have a goal in my head, I don't quit!!

Thanks again ladies! I really needed that boost!

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,281]

Thanks so much for the replies!! I am never usually an unsure person. In my job I am a decision maker but this sleeve thing threw me for a loop! LOL. But I know you're both right and I know the decision I have to make. I am going to get sleeved no matter what! Before I make the surgeon decision, I am going to meet with them and decide if I feel comfortable enough to stay with them. And the way I see it, the diet and exercise I'm doing now just makes it easier for me to maintain my weight loss after the sleeve. And between now and Feb I want to drop at least 25 more lbs. So I'll be going into surgery "halfway sexy"!! LOL. My goal is to get back to my Big Daddy Sexy! LOL. And once I have a goal in my head, I don't quit!!

Thanks again ladies! I really needed that boost!

Hey, anytime! FWIW, I think you chose right. Good luck on that 25 Lbs! From the sound of it, you'll probably even do better.

[lisabug 10]

Yay to finally getting approved. Also happy that you are taking the advice of others on having the surgery. I am 1 week post op and I a m losing very SLOW, but I am still glad that I did this. I know once my body isn't so pissed at me that the weight will start falling off.

It is weird at least for me anyway, I always loved greasy fattening foods. Now I couldn't imagine putting that in my little tummy. This may change overtime, but at least I will think before putting anything into my mouth.

Good luck with figuring out a surgeon. Go with your gut instinct.

[myrori 55]

I too lost 50 pound pre op and not once did I ever consider NOT getting the sleeve for that reason. (Plenty of people had their opinion about "if you can lose that why get the sleeve).

For me, I knew that if in 47 years I never managed to loose and KEEP it off I knew I needed the sleeve as a tool to keep it off for the rest of my life. I am 2 weeks post op and I am very happy with it and excited about the future. If you trusted your surgeon, you should trust his word about his new replacements.

[christina@MIA 12]

Hey Chris,

I don't have much to add to the other post, they took most of the words out of my mouth. Like the others it wasn't a problem losing I had, it was keeping it off. I was the type who had to starve myself to lose 25lbs and then as soon as I started eating I'd gain the 25lbs back plus 10. Maybe if you post the two doctors names on here, some people might have info on them. My main reason for getting the VSG was because I didn't wan't to be 50yrs old and weighing 50 to a 100lbs more than I do now at 38. You are doing great with your workouts and that is going to make you a great success with the VSG. It's normal to be nervous and take things as a sign. Keep your head up and push foward!!!

[M2G 1,836]

I know this is such a hard decision for you. I agree with Christina that everyone has great advice and their own personal reasons for choosing the sleeve. The other thing I would add is that you should find out how long your approval is "good for" (i.e. does it have a 6 month "expiration") and use that as a time frame for your decision making. Getting approval is such a hurdle if you want to move forward with the surgery you don't want that to expire and have to re-do everything.

That being said, if you are not ready or not comfortable with your surgeon then maybe waiting is better. There will always be a surgeon ready to perform this surgery, and regardless of insurance coverages, there is always self-pay (but cheaper with insurance.) So if you are hesitant, or having second thoughts, then maybe now just isn't the time for you.

Just reading your post, it almost sounds like you have a semi-plan in place...continue working out lose as much as you can and do the sleeve in Feb. 2011 or later.

Oh and the fear/nerves. THAT is so normal, but it is also the hardest to deal with. I can totally remember my 9 year-old 3 days before surgery saying "Soooo, you're not sick, but yet you are having surgery?" And I thought to myself, wow, that sure sums it all up. Why would I choose this path?

But I knew this was the right decision for me. My biggest ally was all the research that I had done prior to surgery. I did my research and I knew this what ultimately the tool that would not only help me lose weight but keep it off.

Keep up the great work on your workouts and losing....each pound you lose gets you closer to that final goal and the workouts are something you will be doing for life...sleeve or not!

[Brooklyn732 7]

Thanks again for all the support ladies! I really enjoy this site. M2G you're awesome!

Well I called my surgeons office and spoke to the lady who works with the insurance companies and manages the surgery scheduling. She's really cool and down to earth (and has the same bday as me...lol) and she told me which of the 2 new surgeons I should go with and actually told me she thought I would REALLY like him and get along with him so that reassured me. She set up a meeting with him in a couple weeks so I can ask all my questions and make myself more comfortable. So I feel much better about the surgery.

On another note I've RE-dedicated myself to my diet and maintaining healthy eating habits. I've been on a roller coaster over the last few weeks with my family issues and work and the holidays. But I'm refocused now. I'm going to continue doing 2 Protein shakes a day and one sensible meal. My other issue was that since I started working out, I get SOOOO hungry at night!! I'm eating nonstop and not always the good stuff. But I am not combatting that with drinking more Water and staying out of the kitchen! LOL.

And I had my trainer weigh me last night. After 4 weeks of working out, I actually gained 5lbs. BUT I know its my fault because of my poor eating. BUT....I lost 4 inches in my chest and 4 inches in my waist and hips. AND I gained an inch in my biceps so if anyone wants to see the GUN SHOW, I'll be selling tickets soon!! LMAO!! Can we say NSV?? This is motivation to continue my workouts but also get back into my diet. I'm FOCUSED!! LOL. I may even have to post some before and after pics so show off my sexy. But I promise to keep them G rated!

[pumpkin07 32]

I think part of the problem in making the decision is that either way you go it is a good decision.

If you decide not to get the sleeve now, a new surgery might come out in the future that is even better and you will be glad you waited. And the surgeons you are considering will be gaining experience every day. You are doing great, so delaying things could work in your favor because you would be healthier now and going into surgery which is also good.

If you decide to get the sleeve now you'll be good too, bc definitely you will reach goal. Living on calorie restriction bc your stomach is smaller is easier that true dieting, right? Bc you get FULL on less food. It is built in willpower for you.

I almost had the lap band like 3 years ago but a small detail derailed me. So here I was like 2 years later getting the sleeve, which wasn't available at the time.

Sounds like you are on the right road no matter which way you turn.

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,281]

BD2, great attitude!! We are always going to have our ups and downs. So long as you have many more ups (or should that be downs???) then you are in good shape. Keep it up, you are really going to need that moving forward.

Dieting pre-sleeve is super difficult. Just hang in there and keep doing the very best you can and you will be OK. Once you are sleeved, your hunger won't be as pronounced. Besides, when you do eat it will only be tantamount to what your stomach can hold right now.

Also, having a meeting visit with your new surgeon is a great idea. Everyone has to start somewhere - but just be 100% sure of your choice. Once you have that covered, focus all on yourself and trust in the decision you've made.

All the very best to you!!!

[Brooklyn732 7]

BD2, great attitude!! We are always going to have our ups and downs. So long as you have many more ups (or should that be downs???) then you are in good shape. Keep it up, you are really going to need that moving forward.

Dieting pre-sleeve is super difficult. Just hang in there and keep doing the very best you can and you will be OK. Once you are sleeved, your hunger won't be as pronounced. Besides, when you do eat it will only be tantamount to what your stomach can hold right now.

Also, having a meeting visit with your new surgeon is a great idea. Everyone has to start somewhere - but just be 100% sure of your choice. Once you have that covered, focus all on yourself and trust in the decision you've made.

All the very best to you!!!

Thank you so much!! VST has been a great forum for me to find answers to questions I may have felt too stupid to ask but it's also a place where good people support each other. NONE of my family or friends know what I'm going to do and I don't plan on telling them so it's great to be able to interact with all of you here.

That's another reason I started the diet and exercise so far in advance. I want everyone to think that all the weight loss came from that. I don't know if they will be supportive, but I don't really care to find out. I know they won't judge me, but I don't want to discuss my decision. My wife knows what I'm doing and whether she chooses to support me or not is her decision. She has been good so far, but I'm doing this for me. I have to be selfish for once in my life.

[M2G 1,836]

Thanks again for all the support ladies! I really enjoy this site. M2G you're awesome!

Well I called my surgeons office and spoke to the lady who works with the insurance companies and manages the surgery scheduling. She's really cool and down to earth (and has the same bday as me...lol) and she told me which of the 2 new surgeons I should go with and actually told me she thought I would REALLY like him and get along with him so that reassured me. She set up a meeting with him in a couple weeks so I can ask all my questions and make myself more comfortable. So I feel much better about the surgery.

On another note I've RE-dedicated myself to my diet and maintaining healthy eating habits. I've been on a roller coaster over the last few weeks with my family issues and work and the holidays. But I'm refocused now. I'm going to continue doing 2 Protein shakes a day and one sensible meal. My other issue was that since I started working out, I get SOOOO hungry at night!! I'm eating nonstop and not always the good stuff. But I am not combatting that with drinking more Water and staying out of the kitchen! LOL.

And I had my trainer weigh me last night. After 4 weeks of working out, I actually gained 5lbs. BUT I know its my fault because of my poor eating. BUT....I lost 4 inches in my chest and 4 inches in my waist and hips. AND I gained an inch in my biceps so if anyone wants to see the GUN SHOW, I'll be selling tickets soon!! LMAO!! Can we say NSV?? This is motivation to continue my workouts but also get back into my diet. I'm FOCUSED!! LOL. I may even have to post some before and after pics so show off my sexy. But I promise to keep them G rated!

You know what? That sounds like the perfect plan. Go talk to the other surgeon, and if you don't like him, then talk to the other one. I know we talked about this, but I picked my surgeon because he was so experienced, had tons of support systems in place for his patients, etc. And then of course when I switched mid-way through my 6 month wait time, from band to sleeve, I was (at first) horrified to learn that he had only done 14 sleeves before me. But then I realized I did NOT pick him because he was the best sleeve surgeon in town, I picked him because he is the best surgeon in town. You will have a much better feel for things when you talk to the other surgeon(s) and if it goes well, I am thinking that will alleviate some of the fear/nerves stuff too. Ask your wife to come with you, if she is willing!

And thanks for the laugh about the GUN SHOW...that seriously made my day! :thumbs_up:

[Dawn 16]

My DH was set to be sleeved on the 29th of Nov. and while sitting in pre-op he decided not to do it. He really just felt something come over him and knew he wasn't supposed to go through with it, now or for a long time. He had been losing weight on his own with the pre-op diet and such so he wanted to give himself more time to see if he could lose it! So now he is counting calories and working out and sees the portions I can eat and it helps him keep his portions down!

It's a HARD decision to make and I wish there was a magic wand to just tell you yes or no but I am a big believer that you must go with your "gut" feeling!

Good Luck!!