Am I being too sensitve?

[myrori 55]

I belong to another travel related forum that is a bit like a family type atmosphere, (we all go to the same place yearly and meet up), so any way one person who had been out of a job for a while posted she got a new one and it was a bridal center. Every one joked because tact is not her thing. Well then she posts after one day she was out of there since the size 46 bride came in expecting her to make her look skinny in a dress. Well then the posts started about fat people, fitting this object in to that ect....... Well I posted " I hate to see you all really think about heavy people on this forum."

Not a word, just more jokes. I just feel this is incredibly insensitive of them considering I know there a few of us on the forum that fight the fight. I am actually considering cancelling our tirp this year as my husband is large and not ready to deal with his weight just yet and although I might be down quite a bit by the time of the trip I do think I like these people much anymore, not to mention I don't want my husband hurt by them.

Am I being too sensitive given I am just 9 days post op or do I have valid feelings here?

[hopeandfaith 6]

You are not being to sensitive! Some people are just cruel when it comes to over weight people. I know, my Husband is ONE and his MOTHER is WORSE! He will say something ugly about someone over weight in front of me and not think twice. I tell him that hurt my feelings and he said that was MY fault I took it personally! I'm sure they weren't even THINKING about what they were saying. About your trip you need to do what makes YOU comfortable. If they continue to be RUDE then they are NOT good FRIENDS!! Is it worth the money you are going to spend to go on this trip with them or will you be worried about the comments they will make and NOT ENJOY YOUR time!?

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,281]

Well, its true they were being ridiculous... people usually feel they can make arses of themselves when they have the shield of anonymity.

However, no I don't think you should cancel your trip at all. Why would you let those numbskulls affect your fun?? Don't let them...

[Lila21 36]

I don't think you should cancel your trip, but I do think you were right to stand up for yourself. My boyfriend used to make fun of my fat all the time, and according to him it was OK because he could poke fun at himself. But, I don't think it's for other people to draw the line at what kinds of things they can say--it's up to YOU. If YOU feel uncomfortable, then they should stop. Period. Having said all that, I agree with Irene. Don't let the haters spoil your fun.

[Tiffykins 672]

You feelings are valid regardless if anyone thinks you are being sensitive. BUT, I will say that these people have probably always thought this way, and it's easier for them to be "bully" like, or have the "cult" mindset when they sit behind their computer screen.

I personally would take the money spent on this trip, and have a fabulous vacay with your loving husband ! ! ! If you are close to any of them, I would express your feelings to them openly.

[myrori 55]

Tiff as always you are right, I will still go on vacation, just not there. What bothers me the most none of these people are hiding anonymously behind their computer. We have all met over the years and see each other at least once a year.

[AJW 18]

OK, well nobody will probably like my response to this question, but here goes: You are only 9 days post-op so yeah, your emotions are all over the place at the moment. Your body is going through a major shift and your hormones will go wild for awhile before all settles, but it will settle. A year from now you're start looking at obese people in a different way, as well. You will know what it's like to be them, and yet you'll feel like you want to tell them they could have a different life and why don't they?! Of course, you won't say a word to them, but you'll think it. As for your husband, he probably doesn't get his feelings hurt as easily as you - does any man? I mean seriously? You know that we're the drama queens in the emotional department. I think men can let stuff roll off them a lot more easily than women, so I wouldn't worry about his sensitivities. He'll deal with his weight as he sees you becoming smaller and more healthy. As for other people's comments and what not, you have a choice: you can choose to be offended or you can choose not to be. That's totally on you. I always go with it's better to be/stay positive than go to the darkside on any issue, WL included. When you get "hurt" by every little thing, the only one hurting is you, and you have a choice. I'd stick with the concept that I'm "difficult to offend" and keep a positive frame of mine when there's a choice to make. Choose to be grateful for what you've chosen for yourself, and screw anybody else, kwim?! Yes, of course you do. Stay in your happy place. Everyone has issues - be it weight or some other - you've taken the step to fix that issue for you. Let the others do as they may and know they don't speak for (or to) you. That's my 2 cents worth of ADvice.