I'm not telling another person about my sleeve!!!

[YOLANDA240 13]

I started this journey with my husband and he has been very supportive during all the doctors visits, nutrionist etc. Now that I have a date this surgery has become more real to me, so I decide to tell my bestfriend, two good friends who are also co-workers. My best friend was very happy for me and she told me she's a little jealous (we both have been trying for over 2 yrs to get sleeved) I know she will give me support through this whole process. My two co-workers a totally different story, one started giving me diet tips and new excercises that I could do to loss the weight then she brought up my weight loss 3 yrs ago and said "if you did it then you can do it again." My second co-worker whom I also consider a friend basically said I was taking the easy way and that hard work makes you feel better about achieveing your weight loss goal. I nicely explained that their OPINIONS were heard but I did not agree with any of it and I will make sure I will keep all of the next steps of my journey to myself.

Why are people still in the dark in regards to obesity? Most obese people are not lazy, and they are not looking for a quick fix but a solution to all the other health problems that comes form being obese. Weight Loss surgery is not and will not ever be the easy way out it's a hard journey with healthy you at the end.

Thanks for letting me vent, also I'm not loving the new site set up.

[MS LISA 1]

I know how you feel, I am getting my surgery on in Nov and I have had my co-workers and my oldest son that is not wanting me to get this done and saying I lost weight befor and I can do it again.

They dont realize that I am older and I have a thyroid problem and I can loose the weight but I just gain it back.

And with me going to mexico, they say, arent you scared? what if something happens, what are you going to do?? and I hear if I were you I wouldnt do it, and your crazy, all kinds of stuff to make me change my mind.

Of course I am scared, but I feel in my hart that I need this and I think I have made a good choice in the Dr thats going to do it.

Thanks for listening to me vent.

When are you getting your surgery?

I dont like this new set up eather

[MINI-Me 196]

I say, no need to tell anyone. Your husband is a great support system so let it be what it is. People are ignorant of the process, scared, and I think often jealous. They call it a quick fix because they haven't been on the journey. Believe me, it's not quick and it's not easy!

Kudos for your husband's support and your resolve. YOU GO GIRL!

[BlackBerryJuice 349]

Yeah, in my opinion, the fewer people you tell before you get the surgery, the better. You don't need all the unnecessary stress of having to politely listen to everything random people will tell you. EVERYONE in our society is an "obesity expert," particularly people who are thin and come from families where no one is overweight. Now that I've been sleeved, I understand how some thin people fail to comprehend why we can't make healthier choices 100% of the time - it's very easy with the sleeve. I just wish they would shut up about the fact that if THEY can, so can everybody else. At least no one has been rude and condescending so far, by the sounds of it, but I would prepare for these reactions, as well, there's guaranteed to be one or two idiots you'll encounter later on.

[juliarh 35]

I've only told my husband (my kids of course), my parents and one friend (who is a nurse specializing in obesity) -- my friend was very sympathetic and knows many who have gone through the surgery. But, I'm not telling those who are close to me -- I've had decades of comments like "just get up and move more," etc., etc. I see the sleeve as another means of successfully achieving our weight loss goals -- just like there are those who successfully used WW or other weight loss programs -- would I lecture them and tell them it was not in their best interests? No! It's not their business. So, in my opinion, it's not anyone else's opinion how I lose weight.

Yolanda, chin up! You know what's right for you and what you need to do to be healthy. Don't let those who have no business butting in, get you down.

[juliarh 35]

Oh, and I am so not liking the new set up here either. ugh.

[chilo1 62]

No need to tell anyone, only the closest and dearest, and I HATE the new set up!!

[M2G 1,836]

Eeek, not liking the new changes either. The ONY thing I like is being able to jump to another forum from the bottom of the page instead of scrolling back up!

Julie wrote: "I see the sleeve as another means of successfully achieving our weight loss goals -- just like there are those who successfully used WW or other weight loss programs -- would I lecture them and tell them it was not in their best interests? No!"

{See I can't even figure out the "quote" buttons to quote Julie}

But Julie, you said this perfectly!!! That is brilliant. I love that.

[Tiffykins 672]

Ask the ignorant ones: " If I had a lump in my breast that was cancerous, would I be taking the easy way out by having it surgically removed?" They would surely answer no. Everyone thinks it's easy, or cheating, but honestly, this has been an unrelenting emotional journey for me. I lost weight fast and easy, but that doesn't mean that the journey has been easy.

I tell anyone interested because it's been a positive experience for me. I didn't "come out" about pre-op, but once people started noticing, I revealed "the big secret".

I've had a couple of people go shamefully say "Ohhhh, I see" which translated means " you cheated". That's when I say "it's not been easy, but it's been worth it."

I have lost long term friendships over my choice to have WLS. Sadly, they were real friends in reality.

[MaryL84 0]

I was just sleeved last week. I have been enjoying the forum for the last few weeks but have not been able to sign on till tonight--I'm computer illiterate & just got an I phone several months ago. I told very few people before my surgery because the comments were pretty negative. As I got closer to surgery, anyone who spoke negative to me about the sleeve I would ask them only to speak to me if they had something positive to say. I didn't want so much negativity so close to surgery. It worked. Even my husband who didn't want me to have the surgery was my biggest champion. He spent the night with me in the hospital--he didn't even do that when we had our babies!!! My best friend, my sister & my daughters were all against it. In the end they were all there to support me & cheer me on. My brother called today & said "I heard you had surgery", even after the fact he was questioning my need to have something so drastic done. I let him know that I had stopped telling people about the surgery because I needed only positive thoughts going into the surgery. I also told him that the next time he would see me he would be seeing less of me. We both laughed. The greatest support I got before surgery was reading this forum and I'm sure it will be the greatest support after!!! Thanks to all of you.

[YOLANDA240 13]

I know how you feel, I am getting my surgery on in Nov and I have had my co-workers and my oldest son that is not wanting me to get this done and saying I lost weight befor and I can do it again.

They dont realize that I am older and I have a thyroid problem and I can loose the weight but I just gain it back.

And with me going to mexico, they say, arent you scared? what if something happens, what are you going to do?? and I hear if I were you I wouldnt do it, and your crazy, all kinds of stuff to make me change my mind.

Of course I am scared, but I feel in my hart that I need this and I think I have made a good choice in the Dr thats going to do it.

Thanks for listening to me vent.

When are you getting your surgery?

I dont like this new set up eather

Thank you for the encouraging words, my surgery date is Nov. 8th and my reason for the surgery is the same I loss my thyroid due to thyroid cancer and having a hysterectomy one yr later did not help my weight problems.

[SParkle 4]

I'm with the 'tell a couple of supportive people' brigade and I personally didn't want to have the very emotive discussion about the WLS with total strangers.

My husband is an entertainer, and quite well known in our area, as I am, as I go with him to all the gigs.... thus people have commented on my weight loss..... imagine having to tell people I really don't know that well about it. I was in tears with the shrink telling her about my 20 yr battle with my weight, yoyoing etc, secret eating, huge portions, binges etc.... I can't reveal that much of myself to strangers.

The only ones who understand about obesity are the ones who have been there.

I had enough of an issue with a neighbour who was commenting that I had lost enough and don't lose any more. When I explained I had a deal with hubby if I get to goal he'll stop smoking she exclaimed that how did I think I could get to 147lbs or less... she was taller than me and wasn't that slim and that I'd never keep it off.

I was SO annoyed....I'm not a very optimistic person, but she really didn't encourage me at all. So I really can't imagine the reaction I would get if she knew about the op.

[Becca 108]

I made a HUGE mistake telling co-workers about my surgery. I kind of had to because my doctor requires three weeks off for a revision in most cases. I am just a little sick of thin people telling me that I can just lose weight with exercise and diet. Ummm....no. I was working out at one point EVERY DAY taking spinning class, yoga, etc. and hit a plateau. I have had weight problems since I was young, too. I just tell them now that I am having my lapband taken out and that is it. I don't mention the sleeve and refuse to talk about it. It's just not worth the frustration!

[NewMe2Bee 5]

I agree with everyone, I think only telling people you know will support you is the answer. Everyone always have solutions to other people problems or situations except their own. As stated only people who's been through weight issues will know how we all feel. Most of my family has always been slim. They may have put on 20lbs or so up and down throughout the years. Then they lose it and it's easy but they could never imagine having to lose 100lbs or so,but they also can't understand how you become 100lbs overweight but whatever. I have only told my mom and sister and my favorite aunt. So far they supported this procedure this time around. My mom was against it a few years ago when I was thinking about the lapband. She said you've lost weight before and I know you can do it again. I talked myself out of it then, but not now. I am going through with it. I am waiting for my date which I should get by next week and I am moving forward. I am ready, ready, ready. I am still concerned how my job is going to deal with my weight loss, they have so much to say with the little weight I have lost, so I know it is going to be even more when it continually comes off and more of it. I continue to pray that I can handle the snickers and comments that I know is going to come postop. Keep up the good work all those who have been sleeved and all those waiting to be sleeved will be in my prayers.

[ILKrista 36]

Well, I'm in the opposite boat. I told everyone. I've had tons of doctor appts and when people ask why, I tell them I planning to have weight-loss surgery. I decided to tell because for 2 years I have been religiously going to the gym and doing very restrictive diets. I lost 60 pounds in the first 6 months and and have gained back 50 pounds in the last year and a half. A coworker was talking about her husbands weightloss and she finally admitted it was with weightloss surgery. Knowing this is what gave me the hope that the surgery could work for me too. I hope by telling people I'll help someone else with extreme weight problems get the help they need. Some people have been supportive and some have felt the need to make negative comments. One person told me that it was my own fault that I was fat and that I shouldn't be entitled to have surgery because of that. I told her I hoped she had that same attitude about people who get cancer from smoking or have heart attacks from eating fatty foo. If someone's got a problem with what I'm doing, I have no problem being a bitch and getting them to keep their opinions to themselves. In fact, I've kind of been enjoying doing it. However, at the same time, this is a job I hope I'm only at for another year or 2. When I move out of state, I may not tell anyone.

Krista