Nervous

JulyBride · May 24, 2010

Now that I have a date I have to tell my father that I am planning on having this surgery and I am extremely nervous. I have already told my mom and that went like I had thought it would. She cried and is very worried about complications which I understand but has since calmed down. She understands I am almost 30 and it is my decision and she will do whatever she can to help. But she definitely has made it clear she is not necessarily happy. My father is very black and white in his thinking. He believes that if I had enough discipline and will power I would be able to lose the weight on my own. I am not looking forward to the speech I am going to receive about risking my life when I could exercise and eat right and do it the "right" way. I feel like I am a teenager that has to confess I got arrested! I guess I am just throwing this out there because I don't know who else to throw it out to!

MidwestGirl · May 24, 2010

Now that I have a date I have to tell my father that I am planning on having this surgery and I am extremely nervous. I have already told my mom and that went like I had thought it would. She cried and is very worried about complications which I understand but has since calmed down. She understands I am almost 30 and it is my decision and she will do whatever she can to help. But she definitely has made it clear she is not necessarily happy. My father is very black and white in his thinking. He believes that if I had enough discipline and will power I would be able to lose the weight on my own. I am not looking forward to the speech I am going to receive about risking my life when I could exercise and eat right and do it the "right" way. I feel like I am a teenager that has to confess I got arrested! I guess I am just throwing this out there because I don't know who else to throw it out to!

I completely understand. My dad was the same way. At first, I listened to his concerns to try to appease him. After several months (I had about 6 months between my orientation & surgery date as I was in school), it started to just get annoying. So I told him straight - it is MY decision, it is MY life, and I don't want to end up with diabetes & high blood pressure (both of which run in my family and both of which he HIMSELF has). I appreciate his concern, but he could keep it to himself. I needed support to go through with it, not his negativity. And if he couldn't be supportive, I didn't want to hear another word come out of his mouth about it. Might sound a little harsh, but he, my brother, and my sister-in-law were all very opposed to the idea to the point of being outright buttholes about it. There's a difference between being genuinely concerned and just being plain rude. Best of luck, just know that a lot of us have gone through similar situations so we know what you are going through! And if you really want to have this surgery, don't let that negativity get in your way! :thumbup1:

shasta · May 24, 2010

I had the exact same situation, my mom was worried, but ok with it. My dad has always had an aversion to heavy people, and has pushed me my entire life to lose weight. I ended up sending my dad an email 2 weeks before surgery ( I know I'm a chicken) I just basically told him I had done all the research, I wasn't able to do it on my own, and that I hope he would support me no matter what. Surprisingly, he did. I was extremely shocked. He knew some people at work who had it done, and said he was in complete support!

Just be strong, and know that you are doing this for you. It will be the best decision you ever make! I'm 34, and have always struggled with my weight. I just wish I had done it sooner! Good luck, and know that you have us to support you!!

lmmore · May 24, 2010

You've done your research. Try not to be nervous. You will be fine. We'll save you a seat on the losers bench.

SParkle · May 24, 2010

I wish you luck.... I'm not telling mine as I really don't need him to worry - he's 80, and will do so!! I doubt I will tell him after either, but as I live abroad, I don't see him that often so can pretend my diet has gone very well!!

I think all you can do is go armed with all the information possible to prove you have done your research - he gave you the gift of life, and you are now giving yourself a second chance. I don't know what you weigh, but if you have battled all your life like most of us, yoyoing around various diets then he has witnessed your dilemma...and although it is only right for him to be scared and worried, he should see thru that and into the future to support you too.

Good luck - let us know how you get on

Kathy

NadiaLinISgoing2beThin · May 24, 2010

Your story sounds word for word like my story! I wrote my dad a letter and stated everything that I knew about VSG...I tried to answer everything that I thought he might ask...and it pretty much left him speechless. I have everyone's support now, but it was definitely not easy getting the word out to my loved ones. I wish you luck and the sooner you tell, the more relieved you will feel. It's literally like a weight lifted

NadiaLinISgoing2beThin · May 24, 2010

The worst part is...I was supposed to have VSG surgery 2 years ago but I let my dad and best friend convince me NOT to do it. I could have been thin and healthy all this time.

JulyBride · May 24, 2010

Thank you everyone for the support! I am so glad I found this site. It has been very helpful to read the stories of success and struggles to know everything I am thinking and feeling is not as wacky as I thought. Pretty sure I am going to go have the talk with my dad tomorrow after work. The sooner the better so I can stop worrying about it. If he is on board or not I know this is the best decision for me. And once he sees how well I am doing after he will get over it. I talked to my mom and we believe we are going to wait until a couple of weeks before the surgery to tell the rest of my family.

JulyBride · May 26, 2010

Just a quick update. Everything went better than I had thought. My mom actually broke the news earlier today and flat out told him I was scared to tell him. When he asked why she said because you get in people's faces and act stupid. I love my mom. I wouldn't say he's supportive but he's not not supportive so I'll take it for now!

MidwestGirl · May 26, 2010

Just a quick update. Everything went better than I had thought. My mom actually broke the news earlier today and flat out told him I was scared to tell him. When he asked why she said because you get in people's faces and act stupid. I love my mom. I wouldn't say he's supportive but he's not not supportive so I'll take it for now!

Woot! That's great news!