In Kind of a Funny Place on the Journey...

[Keys Pirate 70]

...And I know this is the place to come. I had my VSG Jan 25 and have lost 63 of 104 pounds. I am thrilled with the results so far, please don't get me wrong and I have no regrets whatsoever. None. I feel like what I'm about to describe is a 'phase' of sorts, at least I hope it is, and I'm looking to you vets (coughTiff) for a shoulder. Is it normal that when you are well into regular foods that you obsess somewhat? I sometimes feel like I think about food more now than before. I feel like maybe I am an addict going thru withdrawal afterall. I would like to eat more, for sure, and am delighted that I physically can't. I know that the docs fix our stomachs but that it's up to us to fix our heads somehow. How, exactly, do you fix your head? Do things just sort of balance out as time goes on? Has anyone kinda in the halfway stage ever experienced this? What do you do? I'm assuming it gets better and I'm trying to be patient. The occasional burning in my gut which feels like hunger doesn't help any either but I'm taking my ppi as prescribed and it does help, a lot. I'm active as heck between my job, school and riding my bike 70+ miles per week.

SO looking forward to your replies!

Carol

[HEARTONMYSLEEVE 1]

Keys,

I am only a month out but I to have a burning sensation in my stomach that I can't seem to figure out. I am on a PPI as well, Protonix. It really does feel like hunger but I don't know if it is. It really isn't the same as hunger pre-surgery but still somehow similar. I am curious about it if anyone has any ideas.

[goodlife 3]

Holy crap! You ride your bike over 70 miles a week? Ok, you're my idol!

wowow...just wow.

As for this phase..the only thing I can think of is distraction. When you catch yourself doing it, try to focus on something else. Maybe take up a new hobby. Transfer a bad addiction to maybe a more productive or healthy one.

[Tiffykins 672]

Awwwwwwwwww Carol, my love, yes it's a phase. You've hit that stage where you're eating more, a sense of normalcy has set in, and you're just kind of living life. You're eating, and drinking, being active. My very first thought is just how many calories are you taking in? With your activity level, and you burning fat, building muscle, you very well could be hungry? Your body may need more fuel.

I experienced something similar when John first came home. My stress level decreased, we started going out again, we started just kind of living. I found myself kind of snacking, and eating a few bites of this or that especially off his yummy plate.

So, my dearest Carol, how many calories are you getting in? What are you eating? Are you tracking? Are ya mindlessly snacking (ya know those 4-5 pita chips always got me)?

The one thing I did was throw myself into cooking, and finding new interesting, flavorful, and completely crazy recipes. I started cooking stuff I would have never even thought of attempting. Grant it, I'm no chef, but some of the stuff I started churning out was pretty fabulous. That was my distraction. I started tweeking recipes so they were a healthier, higher Protein meal for all of us. I think seeing the husband and kiddo gobble up the yumminess, and hearing all the "kudos" for a great meal made me feel better. I was able to eat what they were, and not feel guilty.

I also started being social with the circle of women I met through the spouse's club and bowling. We started going out to lunch 2-3 times a week, and Breakfast on Fridays. Even though they all knew that I had surgery, and never talked about my tiny portions, I was pretty dead set on eating like they did. Sadly, it was pretty much impossible. So, I did get a little obsessive about eating out, and making it look like I was as "normal" as possible. That's kind of what led to the massive gallbladder attack. I thought after a fine dinner at the tapas restaurant that I would be brave and share a creme brulee dessert with one of the girls. Yeah, NOT a good idea, but I was hellbent on eating it. I ate 2oz, and I paid for it dearly within an hour. On top of all the rich, yummy tapas portions of lamb pizza, chicken satay with peanut ginger sauce, fried potato skins with ranch, lobster with a heavy marsala sauce, I was not going to pass up the fricken creme brulee.

I kind of snapped out of it after the gallbladder surgery. I had to focus on keeping things low fat because anything full fat made me sick. I had to get back on track, and stop all the junk. Well, I did for a bit, and still try to make the best choices, but I'm grazing to maintain.

For me, I had to redirect the thoughts of wanting to eat more, or have a little snack here and there. I didn't want to deprive myself, but I didn't want to stop losing. I refused to keep all of the Snacks out of the house because it wasn't my husband or son's decision to have WLS. It was mine, and it's my battle to win. I had to go with the healthy options. I stockpile "mommy's snacks", and no one eats my stuff. That's the only way I can keep myself in check. Grant it, I have my days, Carol, we all do. But, it does get better.

[I Can and I Will 29]

I'm there with you:-) I had surgery in August 2009...down 90lbs and haven't lost any weight in the last two months...old behaviors are creeping back just in smaller portions:crying:. Kind of scarey...stress related I"m sure. I just bought a book called Women, God and food in an attempt to try and learn more about what's going on;-) The good part of the situation is you are aware of the behavior so now make a plan.

Bottom line is don't loose faith. This is a tool to help in our journey...it doesn't solve what got us here in the first place;-)

We'll get there friend...:thumbup:

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

Carol I don't have any words of wisdom for you but I can tell you it does get better.

I guess I just got used to the size of the portion I could have, and told myself if I still wanted more, I could have a few more bites in an hour. Most of the time, in an hour, I was still so full, I forgot about whatever it was that I wished I could have.

I do have Snacks and I don't deny myself to having only a certain amount of calories per day. I eat my Protein first, until I am full, and I have 2 healthy Snacks per day, and it works just fine.

[Itstime 0]

It may be you are bored with the food you are eating and starting to miss all the delicious bad food you used to have? I think Tiffy is right, if you start getting creative with new foods that are good for you you won't feel deprived and long for the old high carb/calories you used to have. I am so bad switching it up with new good foods and relying on same old standbys that I graze. Just another phase, atleast for me and I must tell myself this is not a race, its for life. Maybe also you ARE burning up your calories with the great physical exercise you are doing and up the food to see if that helps. Just a thought. You are working it for sure, you skinny Keys babe!

[Keys Pirate 70]

You guys are my heroes! I know yesterday was a particularly off day but I have more food obsessed days than I like. Funny thing is, I'm not particularly craving carbs, I like my Protein, I am being ridiculously strict with myself about keeping my carbs under 30g per day. The obsessing thing is kinda like the not-so-old days of "hmmm... what's for Breakfast? hmmmm... now that I'm eating breakfast I wonder whats for lunch...??" Good grief! I want that to stop! Even more ridiculous is when I sit down with a nice plate of Protein it's not even that big of a deal now that it's in front of me. I eat my few bites and get on with it for the most part. It's almost anticlimatic when I actually do eat. :thumbup: I should mention too that I live where I work (Boy Scout Camp) so there are three squares served almost every day; not always exactly healthy food but I can usually dig out some protein of some sort.

HEARTONMYSLEEVE; yeah, I think some burning, for those of us that have it is just inevitable. I switched from Nexium after 3 months to Prevacid (scrip vs otc, same med for the most part) and it just happens. Seems to be more particular after I drink but mostly just for a minute or two. Seems like a long minute or two tho! Listen to your bod to hear what it's really telling you. I'm hoping to get off the ppi and maybe ease onto Zantac for awhile. I don't like taking meds for anything I don't absolutely have to. Good luck.

Goodlife; You always make me grin, I love your posts darlin! We ride everyother day, 20 miles; so I figure that's 70 splitting the diff on the odd day. It really is working miracles on my bod but slowing down the weight loss somewhat... As many things as I want to do (kiteboarding is in the top 3) I just don't have the time for any new hobbies; I forgot to mention that I have a 15 yo son that is a handful in school and has his own hobbies that suck me in (all good, of course) and that we own a large sailboat that takes any extra time we have as we are getting her ready to take off shore long term... :scared0:

Tiffy Darling: What WOULD we do without you??? You better never leave this board, ya hear?! I think you hit the nail on the head with trying to now live normally without being able to live normally. It's tough! And confusing! I have come to know when I am truly hungry vs. head hunger/acid hunger; it's a much less obnoxious feeling then either of the latter, that's for sure! My calories are staying under 1000 for the very most part (8-900) and I have found that when I occasionally "trick" my metabolism by kicking it up to 1000 and adding another 5 carbs or so combined with skipping a ride for two days instead of one, that I drop a solid pound and a half or two pounds after the next ride. Go figure. I can only bring myself to slack off like that about once a month, however. I think my calories are in a good place, along with the carbs. I'm like you in that I'm not a marathon dieter, I want to get this overwith and then figure out the maintenance phase when it comes. That said, if I am having a raging craving for something, I'll take a bite. The nice thing is, I'm happy with a bite, I really am! No more need to eat the whole damn cake anymore. Hallelujah!

I love to cook too and should try and get back into it like I used to be; it's a time thing mostly now, though. Do you have any of your recipes posted in a bunch anywhere? I've seen a few that you've posted and they sound yummy! Someone mentioned you should write a guide not so long ago, I second that but I think a book would be more like it...! Something like What To Expect When You're Having a VSG... lol

I remember your gallbladder nightmare and what you just wrote to me yesterday was a smack in the head. I have noticed that when I eat something really fatty, particularly dairy based (lobster bisque specifically) I get sick too - terrible cramps and then, the next day... there better be a toilet nearby... No more bisque for me, at least not now and and I really thinking about the fats now too; I really hope my GB doesn't crap out on me... thanks for the wakeup call. It's really tough to do low fat/low carb, however, it seems like it's one or the other. I think I'm just going to be more aware until I reach goal and then ease away from so much fat and add in a few carbs. That's a ways away, however. Thanks so much Tiff for your undying support to me and everyone on this board.

Caro - thanks for your comments and congrats on your weight loss! 90 pounds is amazing, without a doubt. I'm sorry to hear you're having similar issues; thank God for restriction, eh? I'm going to Amazon now to buy the book; sounds like a keeper and I LOVE to read. I've thought about therapy but I don't think I'm that far out of line and I really would like to be able to deal with this mostly on my own. I loved your comment about being aware of the behavior now and making a plan, you are so right. Anything I can do to help you, please just holler. Thanks again.

Oregon Daisy - Another board angel; love hearing from you, madam, congrats on an amazing job. Yeah, like I mentioned, when I do finally sit down to eat, it's not that big of a deal and I too tell myself I can always have more but never do. There are days though (yesterday) when I sure wish I could have more. That's when I am particularly thankful for my sleeve. What kind of healthy Snacks do you guys eat? fruit? Veg?

Itstime; Thanks for the ideas, I don't think I'm bored though, I have plenty of variety, not really craving carbs but changing it up sure won't hurt anything! You've got a good point about it being long term and not a race; I am also trying to wrap my head around the future but, for now, I'm mostly concentrating on losing. LOL, skinny, yeah right!!! Thanks for the cheers!

Thanks you guys, so much!!!! Today is definitely better!

[MidwestGirl 8]

Thank you for posting this, Carol. I've been feeling the same way lately, so it was helpful for me to read the replies as well. I'm graduating from college next weekend and moving in with my fiance so big changes are coming and I'm starting to get waaaaay stressed. So thanks for helping post what I was too shy to!

[Tiffykins 672]

Tiffy Darling: What WOULD we do without you??? You better never leave this board, ya hear?! I think you hit the nail on the head with trying to now live normally without being able to live normally. It's tough! And confusing! I have come to know when I am truly hungry vs. head hunger/acid hunger; it's a much less obnoxious feeling then either of the latter, that's for sure! My calories are staying under 1000 for the very most part (8-900) and I have found that when I occasionally "trick" my metabolism by kicking it up to 1000 and adding another 5 carbs or so combined with skipping a ride for two days instead of one, that I drop a solid pound and a half or two pounds after the next ride. Go figure. I can only bring myself to slack off like that about once a month, however. I think my calories are in a good place, along with the carbs. I'm like you in that I'm not a marathon dieter, I want to get this overwith and then figure out the maintenance phase when it comes. That said, if I am having a raging craving for something, I'll take a bite. The nice thing is, I'm happy with a bite, I really am! No more need to eat the whole damn cake anymore. Hallelujah!

I love to cook too and should try and get back into it like I used to be; it's a time thing mostly now, though. Do you have any of your recipes posted in a bunch anywhere? I've seen a few that you've posted and they sound yummy! Someone mentioned you should write a guide not so long ago, I second that but I think a book would be more like it...! Something like What To Expect When You're Having a VSG... lol

I remember your gallbladder nightmare and what you just wrote to me yesterday was a smack in the head. I have noticed that when I eat something really fatty, particularly dairy based (lobster bisque specifically) I get sick too - terrible cramps and then, the next day... there better be a toilet nearby... No more bisque for me, at least not now and and I really thinking about the fats now too; I really hope my GB doesn't crap out on me... thanks for the wakeup call. It's really tough to do low fat/low carb, however, it seems like it's one or the other. I think I'm just going to be more aware until I reach goal and then ease away from so much fat and add in a few carbs. That's a ways away, however. Thanks so much Tiff for your undying support to me and everyone on this board.

I'll dig up some of my favorite recipes and shoot a message to you. Give me a couple days, and I'll gather all of them up with my substitutions to make it more sleeve friendly.

You're doing really fabulous, and I think changing up some things in your diet will get you out of the obsessing stage.

Also, do you have a crock pot and a George Foreman grill. I use my crock pot and George Foreman at least 5-6 nights a week. I rarely use a skillet anymore, and if I do it's to saute veggies, or aromatics for a casserole, or quick dish. I occasionally use the skillet when I am pressed for time, and I pan sear some veggies and a Protein, but I like quick, easy, throw together stuff that doesn't have me in the kitchen for me than 30 minutes for prep time. So, that's a plus to have the GFG and crock pot. I have quit buying boxed meals and that keeps me on my toes to come up with something that is appealing, and quick.

I've thought about starting a blog on blogspot, but I'm just not sure. I think it would be fun, and a creative outlet for me. Plus, I can share stuff I find here and there for all aspects of life.

Edited May 7, 2010 by Tiffykins

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

Things I snack on are cocoa dusted almonds in the 100 calorie packs, string cheese, low fat colby jack cheese with about 3 kellogs multi grain garlic and herbs crackers,

greek yogurt, veggies and dip, part of an apple with Peanut Butter on it, a Protein bar-oh yeah either mint chocolate or peanut butter chocolate. There are 2 sticks in a pack and I will eat one. They taste like Kit Kat bars only better. yum yum.

[HatheryOnHerWay 603]

I worry I'll go through this when I finally get surgery, too. Even now when I try to think about how my life would with VSG and eating tiny portions, I almost get this surge of resentment that I wouldn't be able to eat as much as I want to until I'm stuffed. I don't know what that's about--I'm guess it's my mental dependence on food, and something I will likely have a hard time overcoming. Am I the only one who felt that resentment, almost anger, about not being able to eat as much?

[wannalise 15]

I worry I'll go through this when I finally get surgery, too. Even now when I try to think about how my life would with VSG and eating tiny portions, I almost get this surge of resentment that I wouldn't be able to eat as much as I want to until I'm stuffed. I don't know what that's about--I'm guess it's my mental dependence on food, and something I will likely have a hard time overcoming. Am I the only one who felt that resentment, almost anger, about not being able to eat as much?

No! You are not alone at all. The anxiety for me about all the food stuff was much greater preop than I've experienced after surgery. I am learning new things I can do, my appetite is different and there is something that feels so empowering about knowing you have complete control of your body. It really feels amazing.

[Keys Pirate 70]

Hi Guys,

I love you all so much! I can't believe what a bummer/foodie day I was having yesterday; today was unbelieveably better and most days really are good. I love my sleeve!

Miss Tiff; thanks for the recipes, take your time, send them when you can. I have a slow cooker (greatest thing ever) but no Foreman. We do have a regular grill on the boat, however, that we use a lot! If you think the Foreman is that great, I'll go get one! Getting away from skillets is verrrry appealing...

I'm serious about you writing a book; you could do the first volume (heehee) based on compilations from this board and your journey, easily. I've done some editing over the years and would love to help. A blog is good for day to day stuff but you have so much talent that you could create a book of the first of it's kind. I firmly believe this surgery is going to TAKE OFF in popularity with the way the American culture is evolving and a resource like you to thousands rather than dozens would be invaluable.

Oregon Daisy, thanks for the snack tips! yummy stuff there! I live on string cheese and other types of cheese, no crackers as of yet. Beef Jerky, check. Thinking about making my own since it's a. so expensive and b. has hidden carbs if you're not careful. The Protein bars I've stayed away from so far because of carbs. I don't know if I would have the restraint to only eat one, especially if they are like Kit Kats! I think it's safe to move back towards greek yogurt but I've never been a huge fan of yogurt, I can zing it up a little, however. Apple and pb, yum. I eat a small spoonful of pb now and then - totally hits the spot. I like it a lot on celery too, maybe with a raisin or two. Will definitely check out the dusted almonds, super yum! Now why can't pecan pralines be good for us?!!!!

Hathery; I promise it's really not that bad - I definitely don't feel anger or resentment; the whole ball game is REALLY different than pre-op - it's hard to explain but most of us are truly content with a very small amount of food. I am too but I have my days, for sure. You will be able to eat until you're stuffed but with so very much less! It's a good thing, I have no regrets whatsoever, but it definitely is an adjustment.

Wannalise; Amen sister!

Have a great weekend kids and thanks again!!

C

Edited May 8, 2010 by Keys Pirate

[lmmore 0]

I don't know if this will help at all. But I have found that I think about food because I am only 5 1/2 weeks along, so I can't eat everything yet. I have to plan and THINK about what I can eat. And then after all that, I don't know what I want.........so I end up having a hard boiled egg, or some cheese, etc. I need to get into doing the recipe thing. We tried Tiff's Salsibury Steak and that was good.