The Stigma of Being 'Fat' - New York Times

[youknowit 11]

This was in the New York Times the other day... nothing we don't already know, but it's good to hear someone with an international readership discussing the issue. Interesting, and wanted to share. (Please be warned, some of the "comments" are kind of rude... to be expected, I guess.) Best to all! :thumbup:

Essay - For Obese People, Prejudice in Plain Sight - NYTimes.com

The Stigma of Being ‘Fat’ - Well Blog - NYTimes.com

[achopp 0]

Thanks for posting this, this is so true!

About 3 years ago I weighed 155 pounds. I had a nice little retail job that I loved working at while finishing my degree. Then I got pregnant and I took a leave from my job. It was a horrible pregnancy, I was on bed rest for the last 2 months, and I gained about 100 pounds. When I went back to work after having my baby I was 260 pounds. It was like night and day, everyone treated me different. I was the last employee customers would come to for help or a question, coworkers and customers wouldn't look me in the eye, and my boss and coworkers had absolutely zero interest in any ideas or input that I had. Then when the economy tanked in late 2008, someone had to be "let go" and guess who it was? Yep, me, even though I had worked there longer than anyone else.

I'm still unemployed to this day, I just focus on school right now. I'm scared to look another job because of my weight. I'm having surgery in 8 days, and it couldn't come any sooner. I want my life back!

[LAN2k 18]

I appreciate your honesty and I am so glad that you have your date for surgery. Best wishes to you in your weight loss journey.

[AJW 18]

Very interesting article. I was not employed at my heaviest weight, but I'm sure there would have been prejudice had I been. Even now I look at obese people differently, but it's more like I want to tell them there's a way for you NOT to be obese. But you know, some people - in fact a lot more than you think - have no interest in WLS. They'll tell you straight up: I LOVE TO EAT too much to ever go for a surgery that removes most of your stomach. Well, yeah, when you put it that way, sleeve surgery does "sound" severe. I'm totally at peace with my decision, but I can see how it's not for everyone. But the comments of I LOVE TO EAT TOO MUCH to consider an alternative is interesting to me. To my mind, it's not JUST about how you look being obese, it's your health, your heart, your cholesterol, your everything else health-related that should wake you up to the fact that LOVING TO EAT should NOT be your motivation in life, and IF it is, time to change your priorities IMHO.

[Tiffykins 672]

Very interesting article. I was not employed at my heaviest weight, but I'm sure there would have been prejudice had I been. Even now I look at obese people differently, but it's more like I want to tell them there's a way for you NOT to be obese. But you know, some people - in fact a lot more than you think - have no interest in WLS. They'll tell you straight up: I LOVE TO EAT too much to ever go for a surgery that removes most of your stomach. Well, yeah, when you put it that way, sleeve surgery does "sound" severe. I'm totally at peace with my decision, but I can see how it's not for everyone. But the comments of I LOVE TO EAT TOO MUCH to consider an alternative is interesting to me. To my mind, it's not JUST about how you look being obese, it's your health, your heart, your cholesterol, your everything else health-related that should wake you up to the fact that LOVING TO EAT should NOT be your motivation in life, and IF it is, time to change your priorities IMHO.

Very, very well said. I had a friend contact via FB once I came out about my VSG. His comments to me after explaining the dietary guidelines, and life post-op were astonishing. He said, and yes I quote " I seriously can not give up eating an entire chicken fried steak and mashed potatoes just to be skinny."

My reply to him was " well in 5-10 years tell me how that chicken fried steak works for your cholesterol, and hypertension." Least to say, we haven't spoken about my surgery since that day. He's a mere 5'10" and pushing 400lbs at the ripe age of 28. He has 4 children that are all under the age of 10. My heart breaks for him because he can't see that the benefits of losing weight and gettingg closer to a normal weight outweigh the loss of strapping a feed bag around our necks.

[AJW 18]

It's sad I know, and you can't tell them. When people self-medicate with food, unless you replace the drug of eating with something more appealing, they ain't gonna give it up unless they get to the place where being fat becomes so much more uncomfortable they can no longer stand it. As for hypertension and cholesterol through the ceiling, well unfortunately there are no real physical symptoms that tell you you're killing yourself until........well..........you do. Oh well, what can you do? Not much until they're ready to "hear" the truth.:crying:

[TiffanyIsMajor 1]

Well, I am 24 (as of march 15th), and I am in hair school. The best job I ever had, I was hired in at about 180 pounds. I actually lost weight while there, and was fired for being a total crazy bitch, I weighed 163. That was in October 2007. I have YET to find a job, since then, although I wont lie I haven't been diligently looking either. I am the largest I have ever been though now, and I will say I cant help to relate to the experience in this article. In the 5 or some interviews I have had I have expressed that I am willing to take minimum wage, and that I am ok with whatever schedule because I am in school. Every time I just feel like I am being looked down at almost. I thought "No this cant be, I am STILL attractive, just a little fat" That is part of the reason I am doing this (the surgery), I will be working in the beauty industry, and just like being in front of the camera, there really seems to be no room for any extra weight. I mean i DONT want to be fat, and while I love to eat, I am ok to eat in moderation if it means ill be thinner and happier. It just all pisses me off because I cant even seem to nail down a crappy RETAIL job during the holiday season because of my size 24 ass.

[youknowit 11]

Well, I am 24 (as of march 15th), and I am in hair school. The best job I ever had, I was hired in at about 180 pounds. I actually lost weight while there, and was fired for being a total crazy bitch, I weighed 163. That was in October 2007. I have YET to find a job, since then, although I wont lie I haven't been diligently looking either. I am the largest I have ever been though now, and I will say I cant help to relate to the experience in this article. In the 5 or some interviews I have had I have expressed that I am willing to take minimum wage, and that I am ok with whatever schedule because I am in school. Every time I just feel like I am being looked down at almost. I thought "No this cant be, I am STILL attractive, just a little fat" That is part of the reason I am doing this (the surgery), I will be working in the beauty industry, and just like being in front of the camera, there really seems to be no room for any extra weight. I mean i DONT want to be fat, and while I love to eat, I am ok to eat in moderation if it means ill be thinner and happier. It just all pisses me off because I cant even seem to nail down a crappy RETAIL job during the holiday season because of my size 24 ass.

Hang in there, sister! I've been through things like this too here and there, especially back when I worked retail, hotel/restaurant type of jobs... Now, for me, I work in a more "progressive" career field, so fat, thin, ugly, usually our skills and abilities supersede. However, in my profession, being "pretty and smart" does sometimes have a negative affect on people's perceptions... Being "cute" and blonde, regardless of "fat" doesn't help much either, so I've experienced that at times... it's just dumb, all around!

And, on another note, can I just say how insanely MEAN and just downright terrorizing some of the comments were on that article? I could barely make it through the first page of comments, and I was so pissed, I had to close the page. :thumbup:

[ryansgirl 1]

"youknowit" i never read those commets of stuff anymore because people are just plain mean when it comes to the net. tiffykins i feel for you i have a friend that 27 and she complains everyday about her weight but says she can't give up her food like i did she says it in a way like i gave up god or something. in the end there is only so much we can say. you have to want it.