First "dining out" experience, since sleeve...

[TexasT 99]

While I was still on liquids I had to go to a business lunch with a bunch of guys I work with, most I only see a few times a year. I ordered a cup of Soup, which I ate most of and some tea. Everyone was so busy talking that no one said anything about my not eating much. If you don't make a big deal about it, a lot of times people don't really pay much attention to what's going on with other's plates.

I HAVE had servers at a restaurant ask if I didn't like my food when I only ate a little bit. I just tell them I ate a large lunch/breakfast and would like a to-go box. My husband and I also share Entrees quite often, or I'll order an appetizer.

[Itstime 0]

Hey Oregon,

Hope you have a super dinner date!

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

I didn't tell him. When he was in the kitchen getting drinks, I pushed most of my food on to his plate. I am not ready to spill the Beans quite yet.I plan to stay under cover as long as I can!

[OldAv8tor 2]

Ladies,

I can relate to your concerns as to whether or not to "tell." In my opinion, those people you are close to need to know. If they are really your friends, they will support you. After all, you've made your decision and have moved into "the rest of your life" and if they want to be a part of it they better get on board.

When it comes to telling someone you hope might become a "significant other," a similar rule applies. If they are spending time with you there must be some attraction already. If telling them causes them to back off, then there probably wasn't much future in the relationship anyway.

In life, everyone has problems. What is important is how you deal with them. You should not see bariatric surgery as representing a failure on your part, just the opposite. If you have the courage to take the extreme step of bariatric surgery in order to take control of your life and health, then you deserve respect. You would certainly have mine. I would not find such a revelation to be off-putting at all. If anything, it would raise my opinion of you.:thumbup1:

[booklady314 0]

I ate out for the first time today. I'm just started eating blended foods so I was really nervous about it. I asked the waitress if it was possible to have a bowl of Soup blended for me because of a special diet I was on. She checked and sure enough, they blended the soup for me. I ate about 1/4 of a bowl (which is a lot for where I am right now). She also asked me a lot if I liked it - but I explained that I have to just eat very, very slowly and that the soup was wonderful. She was very nice and got me a to go bowl for the rest.

All in all - a successful trip! :thumbup:

[Kabranda 0]

youknowit - and all they others who have stated they have not told many people - I'm so glad to hear that! I too have not told many people. My husband is the only one who knew prior to my surgery and I did tell a friend I talked to the night after the surgery (my family and friends knew I was having hernia surgery just not having the sleeve done at the same time). When talking to the bariatric coordinator after my surgery she told me she had been the bariatric coordinator for the hospital for 8 years but only had gastic bypass surgery 4 months ago as her husband was not in agreement until then. She shared that she told everyone and now wishes she did not as she is stopped everyday by people (friends, friend of friends and just people who know) and asked how much she has lost. She says sometimes she just doesn't want to talk about it.

[youknowit 11]

youknowit - and all they others who have stated they have not told many people - I'm so glad to hear that! I too have not told many people. My husband is the only one who knew prior to my surgery and I did tell a friend I talked to the night after the surgery (my family and friends knew I was having hernia surgery just not having the sleeve done at the same time). When talking to the bariatric coordinator after my surgery she told me she had been the bariatric coordinator for the hospital for 8 years but only had gastic bypass surgery 4 months ago as her husband was not in agreement until then. She shared that she told everyone and now wishes she did not as she is stopped everyday by people (friends, friend of friends and just people who know) and asked how much she has lost. She says sometimes she just doesn't want to talk about it.

I'm glad this thread and info is helpful to you... I've discovered in the last 6-7 weeks (since being sleeved) that no one has even noticed that I've lost weight, nor said anything about my eating (with the exception of one friend). Having the H. Pylori has given me an out on the eating... I told my friend that they FINALLY figured out what has been going on with me and my anemia and my stomach, and I need to chill on eating and take my meds and heal. She bought it... And, I doubt it will come up again.

I have a very close friend with the band who told EVERYONE about it, and she has experienced similar things to the person you know... people are always asking, or worse for my friend, they feel like they can comment on her weight, and that it's ok to do that... My friend lost ALL of the excess weight with her band at one point (it was too tight, and she was kind of sick for a while), and people started calling her Bobble-Head because she was so thin. It was mean, but for some reason they thought it was ok. It really upset me when they would do this, and I even told a couple of these "friends" perhaps they should keep it to themselves... Of course, they just say it behind her back now, but that's better than hurting her feelings I guess. UGH.

Anyways, I support anyone who tells or doesn't... I just know for me, my personality is to keep things to myself. And, sadly, I don't feel like I can trust people with my secret (having seen what they did to my friend), so I'm glad it's only me, the friend with the band, and my brother who knows... It feels good to know I can control who does and doesn't know... Just as I'm sure it feels good for many to tell it from the rooftops.

best to you in your journey! :smile1: