Has anyone chickened out?

wishinghoping · October 27, 2009

That's my question.

Has anyone here, or anyone you know, chickened out on the day of the surgery? I am a big coward and I am so afraid that I am going to back out. The surgeon told me they would give me "brave pills" (cute) but I'm afraid there are not enough in this world to get me to go through with this.

So just wondering. Would I be the first?

Chancie · October 27, 2009

Hi Wishing, and welcome!

Why would you be thinking so negative? Don't you want this? Or is it just "surgery" that frightens you?

Do you have a date set? Is there something you're not telling?

I know I had some fears, but there was no way I would have canceled out on any of this!

Have you cancelled on any elective surgeries before?

Just curious....

Bornagainbabe · October 27, 2009

I don't think you would be the first as it is really scary and that's absolutely normal, but, I think what you have to do is dig deep, really deep and ask yourself, 'will I be here in (say) 10 years time if I don't do this?' or, 'do I want to get diabetes etc. etc.'

I nearly chickened out, directly before my surgery when my surgeon confirmed that yes it was 3 times riskier for revision surgery and yes I could suffer a leak......but they have to tell you all these risks and we all know that any type of surgery is risky. And these bariatric surgeons are so experienced now. It's not the new pioneering surgery that it used to be. Plus they are so careful with the leak tests they offer (in the US, Mexico etc).

I can tell you that I am really glad that I didn't back out as I know that I would have gained another 28 pounds, or whatever, by now and not lost them! I did have my doubts directly after surgery and was questioning had I done the right thing and again I think that it's normal, maybe some more than others. I am a compulsive worrier but I have no regrets now that I am getting slimmer and healthier. It's great and we are so lucky to have this opportunity.

wishinghoping · October 27, 2009

Thank you Helen. You gave me the right things to think about.

I'm in my 50's and have been overweight so long I worry about the risk of heart attack or stroke ( I have high BP ) while having the surgery. You are pointing me in the right direction. I do need to realize that my overall "health" won't hold out if I don't fix things now. As the one doctor said to me, most health issues for obese people are just around the corner if they have not already hit.

I envy those who can have this surgery at a younger age so they do not have the higher risk situations. But you're right. It's still a gift, an opportunity. And it's nice to know not everyone is major brave and carefree about this step. Even us worriers can make it work!

Thanks. And congrats on your loss!

wishinghoping · October 27, 2009

No, Chancie, no date yet. I'm just starting the process.

I really don't have any hidden issues or agendas. I don't mean to sound negative. I'm just not a brave person. Some of us aren't. I am a coward and I have embraced that about myself. I don't think it will change but I have found that I can do things I'd never imagined if I get the information I need. Education helps me a great deal.

No, I've never looked for any elective surgeries before. I don't like or desire surgery. As a matter of fact, until you used that phrase, I never considered this elective. I think it's mandatory or me. Very necessary or I would not be doing it. But then that's me.

You know, I'm also afraid to fly. There are of course millions of people who would think that foolish. But by admitting it and dealing with it, I have 3 times flown to Europe. And I'm not even all that crazy about Europe. But it reminds me of what I can do in spite of my fears. I'm hoping that in 6 months from now being sleeved will be on that list!

Bornagainbabe · October 27, 2009

You won't be the first person to be operated on with high BP and being in your 50s doesn't make you particularly old either. My friend is 58 and having band to sleeve revision next month and she has other health issues as well. I have another one who is having the sleeve as her first surgery in December and she has a whole host of health problems including BP, arthritis etc. The surgeons will be well-aware and take extra care - they won't take any unnecessary risks. Good luck in making your decision - you have got us all on here to talk to whenever you're feeling down or worried xxx

Chancie · October 27, 2009

Wishing....

I was in no means trying to put you on the "spot"....just curious as to why you would .....as you said....chicken out.

And "elective" means- you chose the operation. The doctors didn't..... not like a gall bladder removal, apendectemy, etc. Yes, you might need it, and think it's mandatory, but the way the health care system is today, it just doesn't happen like that.

I was VERY scared, and went thru it by myself.... no one in the waiting room to hear how I did after surgery, no one to be there when I woke up... so yes, I do know what the fears are, but my fear was to die being morbidly obese. And that made up my mind for me.

I hope you conquer your fears, because if you're contemplating this surgery, you know in the back of your mind you NEED this surgery.

I wrestled with this for several years, and am so glad I finnaly took the step to change my life. Surgery might be uncomfortable fo you to face, but your health is worth it!

I wish you the best......... please let us know how it goes. and I'm sorry if I offended you..... not my intentions.

Norma · October 27, 2009

Wishing,

I have not been afraid for even 1 moment about having surgery. I am 50 and all of my fears have been the "what if" kind about not having surgery. My knees are bad. It hurts to walk and doing stairs makes me look like I am 100. Heart disease causing early death runs in my family and I am not ready to die by a long shot. I have had previous surgeries--colon, ears, sinus, knee and so at least I have something to compare this to, but if I would "chicken out" it would be to not pay the money and not have the surgery. I know that I would not live much longer and that the rest of my life would be painful or diminished because of what my body would not allow me to do. Having surgery does take courage and it is not the "easy way out". I will be challenged with the new stomach to think before I eat and drink--to determine what value I place on food and nutrition and if there is some other way to nuture myself. Only you can determine if this surgery is right for you. I can not wait for Oct 30 to get here so that I can begin to live! Good luck with your decision!

Deb · October 30, 2009

I feel your pain! I have not yet made the decision to go ahead and have the sleeve. This is the first truly elective surgery I will have ever had although I have had plenty of others surgeries. Here are a few of my concerns:

I weigh 223 lbs with a bmi of 34.9 - My ins is only paying for this because I am on high chol medicine and they told me if I loose any wt at all, I will not qualify. Am I rushing into this? :confused1: All I know is the more I try to loose wt the bigger I seem to get. I do not want to get any bigger.

I also have some concerns that I know are kinda crazy but I can;t seem to help like....(are you ready for this) What if someone gets really sick like a cancer or something and needs to be able to eat more? What would happen if a person got stomach cancer and needed to have the cancerous part taken out but the stomach is so small now that there is really nothing to remove? Realistically I know this is dumb but the questions are there.

I do have other bone problems that I know losing wt would help. I have had both knees operated on and have 2 artificail hips.

I fear even posting this so ya'll please take it easy on me! I am not usually a neg person. I just keep having these questions.

stoongal · October 31, 2009

I feel your pain! I have not yet made the decision to go ahead and have the sleeve. This is the first truly elective surgery I will have ever had although I have had plenty of others surgeries. Here are a few of my concerns:
I weigh 223 lbs with a bmi of 34.9 - My ins is only paying for this because I am on high chol medicine and they told me if I loose any wt at all, I will not qualify. Am I rushing into this? :confused1: All I know is the more I try to loose wt the bigger I seem to get. I do not want to get any bigger.

I also have some concerns that I know are kinda crazy but I can;t seem to help like....(are you ready for this) What if someone gets really sick like a cancer or something and needs to be able to eat more? What would happen if a person got stomach cancer and needed to have the cancerous part taken out but the stomach is so small now that there is really nothing to remove? Realistically I know this is dumb but the questions are there.

I do have other bone problems that I know losing wt would help. I have had both knees operated on and have 2 artificail hips.

I fear even posting this so ya'll please take it easy on me! I am not usually a neg person. I just keep having these questions.

Well Deb,

I can relate a bit with you, I too was only 221 lbs although having shrunk over the past 15 years I ended up at 5'2" instead of the 5'5" I had always been.

Also had 2 knee replacements last year and this year the shoulders are arthritic. I am 71 and felt the ONLY hope for me to avoid (hopefully) hip problems down the road was to get the excess fat off my frame.

So I jumped at the chance to have this surgery, am self-pay - felt I have no time to jump thro the hoops to see if our Cdn system would pay for my surgery, even tho I too have high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

So a month ago I went to Mexico and had it done. Easy as pie for me. No problems whatsoever, I am now down to 200 lbs and looking forward to the future with great anticipation. As to cancer and needing more nutrients, we will know how to do that, as we lose we are training ourselves to eat properly and, really, for the first time, we monitor just about everything we put in our mouths, we track calories, and Protein grams, we take extra supplements, and if the 20% or so of our stomachs were removed even further, we would survive, lots are doing without their stomachs, they would reroute to our intestines instead.

So to me it made sense to forge ahead and have it done, and now the only thing I miss is the pleasure I used to have to "feast" on fine food. Tonight we went out for fish and chips, and I ate a few ounces of the fish without the batter and was fine with that. (this was not the fine food I was referring to)

But you understand - the memories of that are still strong for me and I will eat fairly normally again down the road, in much tinier quantities, but not ever likely to gorge or pig out again. Just as well, look where it got me.

Hope this helps,

Donna:001_cool:

thinoneday · October 31, 2009

No, Chancie, no date yet. I'm just starting the process.
I really don't have any hidden issues or agendas. I don't mean to sound negative. I'm just not a brave person. Some of us aren't. I am a coward and I have embraced that about myself. I don't think it will change but I have found that I can do things I'd never imagined if I get the information I need. Education helps me a great deal.

No, I've never looked for any elective surgeries before. I don't like or desire surgery. As a matter of fact, until you used that phrase, I never considered this elective. I think it's mandatory or me. Very necessary or I would not be doing it. But then that's me.

You know, I'm also afraid to fly. There are of course millions of people who would think that foolish. But by admitting it and dealing with it, I have 3 times flown to Europe. And I'm not even all that crazy about Europe. But it reminds me of what I can do in spite of my fears. I'm hoping that in 6 months from now being sleeved will be on that list!

Bless your heart Wishinghoping. . .if this helps any, I have had 17 major surgeries and this one will be my 18th. . . every time I go, I am really afraid, but I know that if I didn't do it I could risk the chance of dying. . . with this surgery too, i know that if i don't do it, I will die from my obesity. . .i don't want that. . .i want to live and see my daughter graduate from college, get married, have grandkids and die an old lady (a thin old lady) it is natural to be afraid and have anxiety when we journey into the unknown, but without this surgery how would you do? We die regardless (eventually) but don't let obesity run your life forever. . . now that is really scary!

thinoneday · October 31, 2009

Wishing,
I have not been afraid for even 1 moment about having surgery. I am 50 and all of my fears have been the "what if" kind about not having surgery. My knees are bad. It hurts to walk and doing stairs makes me look like I am 100. Heart disease causing early death runs in my family and I am not ready to die by a long shot. I have had previous surgeries--colon, ears, sinus, knee and so at least I have something to compare this to, but if I would "chicken out" it would be to not pay the money and not have the surgery. I know that I would not live much longer and that the rest of my life would be painful or diminished because of what my body would not allow me to do. Having surgery does take courage and it is not the "easy way out". I will be challenged with the new stomach to think before I eat and drink--to determine what value I place on food and nutrition and if there is some other way to nuture myself. Only you can determine if this surgery is right for you. I can not wait for Oct 30 to get here so that I can begin to live! Good luck with your decision!

best of luck with your surgery today Norma! Let us know when you get home!

carolyn24seven · October 31, 2009

You will be fine. You know you need this. You will be fine.

People with stomach cancer live just fine with out their stomachs.

No, this surgery will not cause you to get stomach cancer. lol

that was the answer I got to my stomach cancer question. That thought is not so far out, people. You get skin cancer from the sun, so, for me to ask about stomach cancer from elective surgery??/ not such a ridiculous thought. anyway the answer was not just no but, hell no. So, I am embarrased but, smarter. I try to remember: there are no stupid questions, only stupid mistakes. (From not asking questions I suppose)

Malaika · October 31, 2009

Deb - First, let me say welcome to the VST family. Second, don't ever be afraid to post anything or ask any questions, no one will judge you - everyone has questions and the only way you learn, is to ask.

As for the stomach cancer issue - if you have stomach cancer and they need to remove your stomach - no matter what size the stomach is, you can still live a long and normal life -- you don't have to have a stomach to eat or live.

Not only was the VSG surgery my first elective surgery -- it was my first major surgery of any type. The only other surgery I had had was bilateral carpal tunnel 15 years ago and I was awake (sort of) for that.

Getting the sleeve was the best thing I ever did to finally put me on the road to taking off my weight and keeping it off - that is always the difficult part - keeping it off.

I understand your concern with having elective surgery; however, in the realm of things, this is a relatively safe surgery and it's amazing how quick you recover.

Deb · October 31, 2009

Thank all of you so much! You have helped me a lot. It is so nice to be able to talk to someone who has been where I am. Still deciding but I feel that I am leaning that way. I would really like to decide by Monday about the sleeve. I have already done the 6 mths of weight loss program w a physician and my last of 6 months w the psychologist will be Tuesday. I was going for the the band when I heard about the sleeve at a seminar. Why did you all decide on the sleeve vs the band? Do ya'll know anyone who is sorry they did either of these procedures?