Parents of Adhd Children

[Nana~ 4]

I guess I just need to get this off mt chest, I'm a wreck right now.

It is really hard for me having a son 9 yrs old who can't sit still has fits, lies, I don't know if he is the bully or the bullied.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Is anyone out there that can help me sort?

Our son went from a walk out of class student to a A a/b student on Rit la 20 but his behavior and attitude hasn't changed at all.

He has a big mouth and nothing to back it up, he only has 2 friends in the neighborhood the rest are who ever biggest friend kind of crap. They always start fights and call him names then he'll say something and can't back it up with his fists.

He lies to us he throws things when mad I'm just lost!

Today our son came home w/ a black eye. They had a sub driver and none of the kids sat in their places. Our daughter says he tried to sit in the seat behind his when the lil boy pushed him and says "no don't sit here" Dar said there's no where Else to sit and sat down and the lil boy punched him in the eye. No report was made the driver did nothing. I called the school and I know tomorrow I'll get the normal Dar prob. started it crap.

It doesn't matter who started it no report was made, and he was punched in a eye that he has had surgery on and will again very soon.

Even though I don't think he did start it, the kids on the bus are always trying to get kids to fight.

I'm so happy school is almost out! Just makes me want to go back to home schooling them!

[gentlespirit 1]

My sister has two sons with ADHD, and it has been so difficult for her. One isi 7 and can only go to school half days...just can't make it through the afternoons. She has him taking some kind of herbal/natural supplement called Calm Child that she says really helps. He even has told her "I need more of my dirt pills" (which is what he calls them). The other son is 20 and is basically a mess. He is sometimes able to hold a part time job but changes frequently. He self medicates with cigarettes and alcohol. They can't live with him...he makes everyone miserable...but he has no where else to go and no way to support himself, so they really don't know what to do with him. My heart breaks every time I talk to her. People don't realize it's a disorder that they can't help...they think the kid is just being a smart ass.

My heart really goes out to you and all the other parents who have to try to deal with this. It must just tear you apart to see what happens to him and not be able to "fix" it. I would still call the school and let them know you aren't happy. Home schooling is hard, too...I did it for 5 years. But sometimes it's the only workable solution.

Hugs~

Emily

[Nana~ 4]

Thank you, I just needed to know I'm not alone. Sometimes I feel like noone knows what its like and that he is a bad kid. He's not hes a very good and very smart kid. He loves science and math.

[LindaV 0]

Hi PlunderB,

I'm so sorry to hear things aren't going well for your son at school - socially at least. It is so hard to have to watch our kids find their way in this world. Especially when the world isn't being too kind to them.

Well, the bright side is, school is almost out and, hopefully, over the summer, you can have more control about who he hangs out with. Have you considered getting him involved an a martial arts program. There are some really good programs that teach good technique as well as helping kids to learn self discipline and how to handle volitile situations.

I ran an afterschool program for a Karate dojo in California and several of the kids were adhd and their parents said it made a huge difference. Aren't you involved in some kind of program? I think any program that channels excess enerty into something physical and positive is always great!

My son just turned 10 and I just had a conversation with my husband last night about how I am not liking him very much right now. Really he's agood kid but, because I homeschool and am with him 24/7, the attitude problems and everything else are really apparent to me. Especially right now on my3rd week of liquids. I'm sure I have not been that fun to live with either. :nervous It's normal to go through periods where we really question our parenting skills and whether or not our kids are going to grow up to be well adjusted adults.

Have you decided what to do yet about schooling next year? I havn't checked your thread for a while.

Good luck and hang in there.

[maryb 1]

I feel for you Plunder Bunny! My daughter was labeled ADD but none of the medications helped her with her school work. What did help her mentally was Zoloft. She was so depressed from teachers yelling at her, students being mean to her, and her best friend dumping her. I also took her to a counselor for 2 years starting in the 6th grade that was an hour away from our home. The 2 hours driving her back and forth gave us needed alone time to talk one on one. This was the hardest time in my life, but has turned out to be a blessing. We are very very close because of this and she is a sweet happy 20 year old now.

[Nana~ 4]

The home schooling was/ is for my daughter who never actually failed and the school held her back. Ack at this rate I just might have them both at home. I should find out more about my daughter this week.

My son well I guess Im just like you said in a period of stress and we are clashing big time today.

[JulyBandster 1]

I teach fifth grade - maybe a teacher's insight might help? Did you know that your son probably qualifies for a special 504 plan? This is a little-known part of the special education law for kids who don't qualify any other way.........while it doesn't give a great deal of assistance, it does provide some modifications to your son to make his life easier in school. Things that might be helpful are: extra text books (so one can be kept in school and one kept at home....gets rid of the nightly stress of forgotten books...) limits to the amount of homework with no penalty, preferential seating in each class, teachers checking in with him about his work daily, lots of visual cues (or verbal....whatever is needed), homework assignment book signed by each of his teachers each day, a check in and check out system (a teacher makes sure he has all homework and books to begin his day, and does the same thing before he goes home...) Not sure if this would help you or not, but I work with a lot of ADHD kids, and many parents aren't aware that a 504 plan can help provide modifications.....again, won't provide him with special services per se, but modifications that can make both your lives so much easier. Let me know if you want more information.

[Nana~ 4]

I do! I never even heard of this the school has never even said anything or held an ard. I'm very interested please.

[maryb 1]

My daughter begged me to home school her. I refused because I didn't feel like I was qualified to teach her, and I thought I might end up killing her. I just didn't have the patience. Public school is required to provide a safe environment and proper education to fit each child... of course you have to fight for these things! I never thought my daughter would graduate with her peers, but she did.

My daughter was under 504. We had ARD meetings to discuss recommended help. She would go to a STAR Lab for tests and extra help, and she had two sets of books.

[bandayed 0]

So funny to find this thread -- I have just had a particularly bad day with my 7 year old with ADHD. I was just thinking how he seems so great lately -- normal, mainstream, adjusted, sweet and BAM a bad patch. For the past few weeks his eating & sleeping have been disrupted again - I have no idea why, nothing has really changed. He has also been acting

so immature and needy and whiny (which may be due to the change in sleep & eating). He has also been kind of sneaky and lying sometimes. He breaks rules that he knows, and usually follows without an issue. I try to be a patient facilatator for him when he's like this, but it's hard because he is so nasty to his sibs and really demanding of me & DH. Nothing we ever do is right for him in these phases, and we all suffer b/c of it. The thing I hate the most about these times is that I get really scared for him and his future and I just hope that he will develop bettter coping mechanisms so that he can have a good life.......I just find myself at wits end. Like you, his school work is so much better since starting Ritalin, but his social behavior and attitudes/moods really aren't..........YOU ARE DEFINATELY NOT ALONE

[piercedqt78 658]

My almost 5 year old is ADHD and she can be a nightmare sometimes. The doctor just put her on Focalin XR and that seems to be helping. She is a biter, a screamer and these behaviors are getting better each day. Is there a TV in you sons room? That was the first thing that had to go in our house. We have a TV in the family room and there will be one in her playroom in our new place. The doctor said absolutly no TV in the bedroom, that was the worst thing for her. We removed the tv and things are much better. She also takes melatonin to help her sleep, that is another problem with ADHD kids, lack of quality sleep. It is over the counter and cost about $12 for a 6 month supply. She takes 1.5 mg 30 mins before bedtime. Also is your son on a schedual? Even on the wekends my dd gets up at 7:30 and gets dressed, as long as we are on the same routine things run smoothly. I am always willing to talk, PM me if you want my number or if you want me to call you, I have free longdistance after 9pm and on weekends. ~Mandy

[NJChick 3]

ADD and ADHD runs like wildfire in my family. My mother, sister (who's 52) and myself all have ADHD.

Hang in there because there is hope. There's lots of wonderful meds today that can really change the way your child functions, don't be afraid of it. And just so you know, lots of kids can grow out of it.

Hugs !!!

[JulyBandster 1]

Here are a couple websites that might help you understand more about the law.

Did you know that it is a law that any parent can demand a public school do a complete educational evaluation of your child at any time? If you put it in writing, the clock starts ticking from that moment on, and the school system has a set amount of time in which to complete the evaluation and get the results to you.....you can imagine that most school systems don't want this advertised, but it is the law in every state........You might want to start there, then bring up 504 plans if nothing else is found. The 504 can be the blanket that keeps your son's head above Water if no other disability is found.

http://www.helpforadd.com/rights.htm

http://www.help4adhd.org/faqs.cfm

http://www.504idea.org/504resources.html

http://www.wrightslaw.com/info/sec504.index.htm

Hope these help you out............

[Archermom 0]

My 13 year old daughter was diagnosed with ADHD at age 7- and her psychiatrist did not recommend putting her on Ritalin- he stated it was to hard of a drug and still to many side effects and unknown reactions to it- and also recommended Calm Child ( My daughter calls it her KuKu pill) - Melatonin 3 mg every night for a better night sleep and a strong cup of coffee in the morning. He explained that children with ADHD are lacking stimulation and get more hyper the more they have to search for it. Coffee or better the caffein will provide them with enough stimuly to calm them down considerably. (This does not mean that she can have soda's- they are of limits!)

Also ground up ground up flax seeds are great as they contain Omega 3 and 6 fatty acids and some other ingredience that are good for the kids.

[Nana~ 4]

Thanks guys, I guess I'll just grin and bear it for the last week of school and be prepared for next year!