Hello everyone, I am wanting to keep my surgery on a real "need to know" basis. Has anyone else kept this a secret? What did you say you went into surgery for? Need help on what I can say that would be believable. Alot of people in my life are very against the idea of a lapband. They are also size 8 and never had to work out or diet in thier lives. Thanks!

When I first decided to have the surgery, I kept it private. Then I heard though the grapevine that a coworker had it done years ago. I approached her cautiously to ask for input, advice, anything she could offer. I wasnt sure if she would talk to me about it or not...Her response changed my entire outlook...She immediately replied Yes, I had it done and its the best decision I ever made! She was so full of confidence.

She has been so encouraging to me and advised me to just be honest with people. Of course, I will not go around shouting from the mountaintops, but if someone asks me then i will tell them.

You will always be judged, but in the end you have to look at who you are doing this for...yourself! Be happy, be proud, be skinny

I say all of this as I am waiting to go into my prep appointment. Wish me luck!!

Only two close friends know, my mom, one of my brothers, and my fiancé (he's gettig it done too) the rest of my family who asked why I was hobbling around drinking shakes, my fiancé told them I had an appendectomy. They seem to believe it. I have no problem telling them later on after I have results to back it up with.

Hey everyone so I finally have a surgery date of June 24th! Excited

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Hey everyone. Finally booked in for surgery on June 24th. Excited and scared all at the same time!

I haven't told many people and I don't intend too. My husband is being an unsupportive piece of **** despite already having my surgery set for July 31st.

I haven't told many people and I don't intend too. My husband is being an unsupportive piece of **** despite already having my surgery set for July 31st.

Why is your husband against it? Does he like you heavy, unhealthy and not happy? Is he afraid you will be hotter than him? He has the problem not you. Do you have anyone in your family who is supportive of this? I hope so but then you have all of us and we can become your family and support team. I know that by getting the band I am off all meds except what they tell you take after like vitamins and minerals.

I wish you a lot of luck.

Arlene

I told everyone... no one has been negative... the band is for LIFE...it's a part of me...it's a tool I need.

Tom, Toronto

Banded July 6 06

Wt. Loss: 156 lbs

Why is your husband against it? Does he like you heavy' date=' unhealthy and not happy? Is he afraid you will be hotter than him? He has the problem not you. Do you have anyone in your family who is supportive of this? I hope so but then you have all of us and we can become your family and support team. I know that by getting the band I am off all meds except what they tell you take after like Vitamins and minerals.

I wish you a lot of luck.

Arlene[/quote']

He thinks its so easy to do it with diet a d exercise alone. He doesn't realize I've tried my whole life only to gain more. He finds it unattractive.

Everyone's family/work situation is different. I'm not shouting it from the rooftops, but I don't think I will shy away from a direct question. One of the problems, I think, is other people's misconceptions about the lapband. It's not my job to educate them, but I think I will simply say, "This is what I have chosen to do to help me lose weight and become a healthier person. I want to see my children grow up." I've told family and a few close friends. Two are not in favor, but have pledged their support. One of them had a very outdated understanding of what the lapband was. Recently, we went on a girl's night out. She called me ahead of time and asked what "we" needed to do to help me stay on my pre-op diet, so even the Doubting Thomasina's can change! For me, having family and friends "in the know" is important - I will need their understanding and support when we are together and food is around. Honesty just works better for me.

My Dad had a saying,"You can't un-ring that bell".

I told only my hubby and grown children who were all sworn to secrecy.

If anyone asks, I am eating less, smaller portions and exercising regularly.

Only one or two people have had the temerity to ask if I had surgery. I find that in general, people are way too nosy about other peoples personal business.

Also, once you tell folks that you have had some type of surgery,(gall bladder, hernia, exploratory laparotomy)you have "rung that bell".

People may interrogate you about those surgical procedures as well. It can become tiresome.

I think women are more mean to other women about things, like weight loss, pregnancy, etc. don't know if its jealousy or what.

but I have gotten several rude comments when I lost weight in the past, from my own parents, in-laws, and others.. so that's why I am choosing not to say anything about my surgery right now. maybe later I will feel differently.

I thought of this thread when I saw this picture on Facebook (from Lapband Gal - she's awesome).

I've only told my mom, and let her tell my dad and sister, and I'm not planning on telling anyone else in the near future, and my surgery's in a few weeks. My brother's in the dark as he's only 17 and doesn't need to know, though I'll be staying with them for a week after surgery so he can draw his own conclusions. And I only let my mom tell my sister because she's a dietitian so she will be of some use to me lol. I swore my mom to secrecy not to tell anyone else including her friends or our family until and unless I change my mind and tell her otherwise. I also am in college full-time, so I have to take a week off of school, and am telling my professors that I'm having knee surgery again, since I had knee surgery in December so that's not too far fetched. People might suspect something when I lose a lot of weight but unless they ask me outright I'm not going to say anything other than that I'm really watching what I'm eating and working out a lot more. I thought about saying I was going to have my appendix out but having abdominal surgery and then losing a bunch of weight is definitely going to raise some suspicion. I'm not ashamed of my decision at all, but I don't want to have to deal with people's stupid opinions and reactions, especially considering I'm only 21 and very very few people my age would understand.

I'm under the impression that not being honest about lap band surgery just helps propagate the misconceptions that it's vanity surgery or an easy option.

People aren't going to appreciate how hard and necessary WLS is for some people until we stop pretending all anyone has to do is diet and exercise to lose weight. If we get WLS and then claim "all" we did was change how we ate and exercise we're just making it harder for the next person who really needs WLS.

No social change ever occurred because people kept the need for change a secret.