Skip to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

BariatricPal

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.

Join BariatricPal free

  • Ask your own questions
  • Reply and follow topics
  • Message other members
  • No cost, no spam

How do you respond to people who say "You're Not big enough to need surgery?"

A few people I have shared my decision with have said this to me. I apparently "carry" my weight well because even the pcyscologist at my surgeon's office told me he was surprised by my weight, I don't look like I weigh almost 300lbs.

My MIL was down right shocked I had made the decision, of course she herself is likely pushing 300lbs and has never been on a diet in her life. I just told her I wanted to have better control over my health and this was something I needed.

  • Replies 29
  • Views 2.7k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Featured Replies

Everybody would look at me and say "You?"

All my dr's....endocrinologist, cardiologist, pulmonologist, dermatologist...even my podiatrist tried to talk me put of it!.....all except my PCP who referred me for the surgery in the first place.

they all mentioned I should try dieting first....I was not that big....

I was not going to get into the discussion that I have tried diets for 30 years and I stink at it....no self control when it comes to my love for food....

BUT NOW...every one of them cannot say enough good things about how fantastic I look and how miraculous my complete turn around has been with all my health issues.....

It's almost as though they want to take some credit since I am one of their patients.....my last stress test I performed way above average for my age....my Cardiologist said I was his best success story patient...What?

Where were they 3 years ago when I started all this?

Everyone tells me I am not big enough for it to..I smile and say I don't care I'm getting it! I'm 5'4 220 pounds

I haven't told anyone I weigh but they usually guess 65 pounds lighter than I really am. Even my surgeon asked me if I was sure about the surgery. I can't lose weight on my own. I need this procedure.

You Go Girl! This is for YOU! and your good health by being in control of your weight. We can all make excuses and deviate what is really a good choice for all of us. Sometimes we do carry our weight well by the clothes we wear everyday.

Wouldn't it be better to be able to wear anything each day and look great?

Let Nobody change your mind for you, it's about YOU!

Best wishes

Sometimes we do carry our weight well by the clothes we wear everyday.

Wouldn't it be better to be able to wear anything each day and look great?

Well said!!! Sometimes I go through 3-4 outfit changes before I think I look slender enough to step outside. The naysayers aren't there to see that happening. Nor do they see me struggling to try on outfits in the department stores and having to take the walk of shame back to the rack to try the next 2 sizes up. I'm tired of doing that! Those days will soon be a thing of the past because of the decision I made to get my band! :-)

isn't it funny how people are always ready to tell you what they think... "you need". I hid my weight under huge breast.. most people looked at me and saw boobs and not the huge stomach and A$$.

Of course you all know me for NOT holding my tongue .. so one day a "friend" said... why are you having surgery, you don't need that, you just need a breast reduction you don't weight enough. So me being me... i said oh really... and how fat do you wish for me to be oh mighty one? That shut her up pretty quick.

Just say what you really want to say.... tell them thanks, but your weight is not their concern and until they are a trained weight loss specialist.. you'll keep listen to your doctor.

Thanks all for the words. Yes!!! I would love to try on clothes without the pulling, sweating, swearing, and ultimate depression that ensues. Oh, to put on a t-shirt and jeans-& an awesome piece of jewelry and concentrate on something other than my weight that day. It would be fantastic I bet. Haven't had the experience since childhood. I am going forward!

I'm 4'11" and weigh around 195 most days. Sadly, though, a disproportionate amount of weight hangs out under my chin, giving me a MONSTER double chin. No one ever accuses me of being too small, because my face is so fat! But I have had friends, even dear ones, hesitate before giving me their support.

I work in mental health and most of my friends are in mental health, so in general, we're a pretty supportive bunch. :)

But for those of you who were told you were too small, imagine how those people will feel when you are *actually* small.

I have the same issue. My best friend is against me having the surgery. She told me, "we are going to have to agree to disagree on this. I feel surgery is for the morbidly obese when there are no other options, and I don't feel that is you." My sister, same thing, "I wouldn't think you would be big enough for the surgery"

At 5'2" and 235lbs my family doctor, my surgeon and I all feel it is a wise choice. People may not agree with your decisions but they are not the ones who have to wake up every day and walk around in your shoes, so do what makes you happy, and agree to disagree.

I have the same issue. My best friend is against me having the surgery. She told me, "we are going to have to agree to disagree on this. I feel surgery is for the morbidly obese when there are no other options, and I don't feel that is you." My sister, same thing, "I wouldn't think you would be big enough for the surgery"

At 5'2" and 235lbs my family doctor, my surgeon and I all feel it is a wise choice. People may not agree with your decisions but they are not the ones who have to wake up every day and walk around in your shoes, so do what makes you happy, and agree to disagree.

So you started at the same as me.... i was 5'2.5" and 223. And yesss you are Morbidly obese. Why does she have any say at all.... this is your life and your health, not hers. Agree to disagree...No you don't. Tell her to keep her opinion to her self.... I would keep an eye on these two. I see sabotage in your future. Can i guess that they are either the "thin girls" or the "fat girls"... thin girls don't want the competition that you will give so they want you to stay fat... and the Fat Girls will be jealous of your dedication and new found confidence.... no longer one of the hard....lol

So you started at the same as me.... i was 5'2.5" and 223. And yesss you are Morbidly obese. Why does she have any say at all.... this is your life and your health, not hers. Agree to disagree...No you don't. Tell her to keep her opinion to her self.... I would keep an eye on these two. I see sabotage in your future. Can i guess that they are either the "thin girls" or the "fat girls"... thin girls don't want the competition that you will give so they want you to stay fat... and the Fat Girls will be jealous of your dedication and new found confidence.... no longer one of the hard....lol

Thanks for the advice and encouragement! Yes - my friend battles with weight issues as well, she probably has a good 50lbs on me.

I just laugh and tell them they have not seen me naked!

Thanks for the advice and encouragement! Yes - my friend battles with weight issues as well, she probably has a good 50lbs on me.

Jealousy will kill this friendship. Be on guard. You can do this.... I started at a size 18-20 .. Now I wear a very comfortable 8 but can and do wear a 6

I have gotten this response for years. I still get it now after being banded. However, I'm still morbidly obese at 342lbs despite the fact that I'm almost 6' tall. I know that I made the right decision because my knees now "allow" me to go up & down stairs without pain since losing weight. There will always be people who have something negative to say about any decision you make. Their opinion doesn't matter. Just smile & move on.

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Account

Navigation

Search

Search

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.