Fears, Expectations, Goals

[general_antiope 189]

You've been through a lot before even getting to this point. There's so much ahead of you, too.What are your fears about your pending lifestyle change?What are your expectations about how this is going to change you - your life - your family and friends? Your job?What are your goals in getting this surgery? Is it to lose a number of pounds, or co-morbidities, or get to a certain size?

[Crystal927 57]

Let's see..for me...my biggest fear is that I will fail. BUT I'm not going in with failure as an option. I am trusting and believing that this is it!! I know that I can lose the weight, I've done it before, I just need this tool to help me keep it off once its gone once and for all! I can't wait to see that boost in confidence as those first 30-40 lbs fall off and then to grow from there. I'm a really active person, I love love love to travel and do all kinds of adventurous things (white Water rafting, skiing, snorkeling, jet boating, etc) I can't wait to be able to do more of those types of things that I have always wanted but couldn't due to weight limits (zip line, paraglide, kayak, etc) So for me its not really about being a certain size as long as its one that allows me to do all of the things I want to do! In my mind my goal would be 161 just because for my height on the BMI scale that puts me "normal" and I've never been 'normal' lol but really...I just want to be healthier and happy!

I also really enjoy doing mission work here and overseas...The thing with going overseas is that I've always needed a "buddy" to go with me so that ya know, no one embarasses me on a plane because those seats are so 'small' So I look forward to the freedom I will have that if I just want to hop on a plane I won't have to plan everything around my size and can just GO when the urge hits Besides satisfying the spontaneous traveller in me, I'm also doing this for my health... during my 6 month doc supervised diet for my insurance I was diagnosed with high blood pressure at just 30 years old... Fortunately it wasn't real high but was high enough that I was put on a diuretic to bring it down for surgery purposes and once I start working out again we expect that will be enough to keep it in check. I am really blessed that I haven't had any other health issues, heart's good, lungs are good, sugar is good, cholesterol very surprisingly is perfect...so my "insides" are all good for now and I'd like to keep it that way as well as getting the outside to match

I'm also considering a career change. I am currently an accountant. I'm good at it. But I have no passion for it nor do I really like it. I started college doing Pre-med and between being overwhelmed with too many classes I started questioning myself and I bailed. I've always really loved working with people and I have been told multiple times that I have "too much" personality to be an accoutant, I just don't "fit in" this field. So recently I've been exploring options in the bariatric field. Nutritionist? Nurse? Personal Trainer? I think that while walking through this journey I can be taking steps toward a career change as well...I'm not sure what that looks like just yet, but I think I would really love getting up every day and going to work with people just like me, I know I could be passionate about that. So now its just to figure out what that looks like and how it will work out.

So thats me in a nutshell, fears, expectations and goals Sorry for the novel length, I tend to get going and it just grows from what I ever intended it to be!

[general_antiope 189]

Crystal, I love reading your stuff You have a nice writing style.

 

Missionary work? How cool! How did you get into that?

 

I have no major health issues other than my degenerative lumbar, great cholesterol and such, too. I feel like I wanna hurry up and "catch up" before my age starts taking my weight seriously, LOL.

 

I can't wait to see that boost in confidence as those first 30-40 lbs fall off and then to grow from there.

I'll tell you what my experience with this was...Once that weight started coming off, I literally lost interest in the scale. I would weigh myself every day, then stopped and did it once a week. Life started taking over! It was amazing. My mom would exclaim that I was shrinking every time she saw me, but I didn't REALLY see it. Or believe her. The scale said I was losing, my clothes were hanging on me, but for some reason I ignored weight and weight related stuff and just got distracted by work and friends and personal projects. I actually like that. I stopped obsessing, watching, waiting for my moments to live. Before I knew it, I was 190. All I kept seeing was another 30-40 lbs to lose, but when I took pics of myself I would be SHOCKED at how thin my face looked. It took me a while to resolve the person in the 14 pants and having only one chin with how I still felt. It was weird It took a year or two to accept a size 12 as normal, and feel normal, and no longer shop at Lane Bryant.

[WMHB (Dave) 26]

Ok, so I am starting to make a list and/or buy food/drinks that must be in my house when I walk in from the hospital. I bought a bunch of the powdered whey Protein mix. I really like the taste of it and they have 25+ grams of protein in each serving. I have heard if I don't mix it up real well, even a little clumping of the powder could get stuck? That wouldn't be fun. I guess I need low fat yougurt, broth, and what else? I don't want to do anything to make myself throw up! That sounds painful right after surgery!

[general_antiope 189]

Throwing up after surgery is painful, sore, cause they cut through your ab muscles. But it's not horrible pain, imho, just very sore like you did a million sit-ups. If I recall correctly, it didn't hurt unless I moved my abs. (which was whenever I moved!)

 

I also would eat applesauce. But it's very thick, so I always had to Water down the applesauce to get it down. I love apples, and I am enjoying eating whole fruit now...won't be able to soon. When in doubt with consistency, just water it down a bit!

[Crystal927 57]

Crystal, I love reading your stuff You have a nice writing style.

Missionary work? How cool! How did you get into that?

Good morning Kate Thank you!! I sometimes set out to write short replies, or messages and without fail they end up forever long so I've just accepted it haha

Missionary work..lets see...I guess it really all started when I was in college and was really involved leading in the youth ministry at my church and we did several local mission projects. I've always loved to travel overseas and then had the opportunity a couple of years to go on some mission trips. Its really amazing to go and share the Gospel with people by means of meeting a need that they have...we've done remodeling work, built a house, done wedding showers, gardening, even organizing a library for children; you name it we've done it, its so awesome to just go and submerge yourself into another culture and learn about the way they live, and live it with them! So I guess my passion for travel and my passion for the Lord just lined up to form a great passion for mission work

I see your husband is a teacher? I work in the school system, at the central office...So I have my fair share of exposure to the world of education, its just a much different view than many have...I'm so over the "business world" haha

I cannot wait for a 12/14 to be my normal!!! I have a dress that I bought because I just absolutely loved it, its a size 14...I can't wait to put it on and go out on the town lol And I love Lane Bryant for "being there" all these years, but I'm so sick of keeping them in business, I can't wait to no longer need them

[NJDanielle27 76]

Crystal - oh my goodness we have SO MUCH in common. I felt like I was reading a bio of myself when I was reading your post. I am in corporate finance (which is basically accounting) but I come from a family of doctors and that's what I wanted to be. I got to college and was overwhelmed by my first biology class. I then thought to switch to dentistry because I was great in math and a lot of the classes were around chemistry. That didn't work and I went to Finance (blahhh - sounds far more impressing than it is). The job pays really well, sounds very sophistaicated and I am good at it but I have no passion for it whatsoever. I have been thinking a lot about changing my career because I love talking to people and helping others. I also love to cook. I was also thinking that ONCE I become successful, lose all the weight and get healthy, I could be a trainer or go back to school for nutrition or something.

 

I am going to be 28 and I also love to travel. I have the same issues when it comes to being on a plane - my boyfriend relocated out to Ohio and I am in NJ so I fly a lot based on that alone. We were out in LA for a long weekend in December and I took the redeye home to NJ and he flew back to Ohio. On the plane, I was SO UNCOMFORTABLE. First off, whoever invented the redeye is Satan. Besides that, I was in the last row of the plane and the seats were smaller than usual. I don't usually have tons of room on the plane but this seat literally left marks on my thighs. I thought I wasn't going to make it at one point...I was going to cry. Turns out, I went to seatguru.com and put in the flight information and it showed that the seats in the last two rows of the airplane are one inch smaller than usually based on the curvature of the plane. I encourage everyone, especially bigger people or hippy people to check out that website prior to picking seats on a flight. On a flight from Aruba to NJ, the seatbelt was so small that it JUST fit me. If I was 20 pounds heavier, it would not have buckled. I am tired of always having this cloud over me and I am committed to making the change!!!

[Crystal927 57]

Ok, so I am starting to make a list and/or buy food/drinks that must be in my house when I walk in from the hospital. I bought a bunch of the powdered WHEY Protein mix. I really like the taste of it and they have 25+ grams of protein in each serving. I have heard if I don't mix it up real well, even a little clumping of the powder could get stuck? That wouldn't be fun. I guess I need low fat yougurt, broth, and what else? I don't want to do anything to make myself throw up! That sounds painful right after surgery!

Hey Dave! I don't know yet from experience, but I have read multiple people say gas-X strips and chapstick are essentials Also, a heating pad for the gas pains. I too have bought my protein powders and am ready to go on that front. I have used "blender bottles" for several years now for Protein Shakes, they have this little "whisk ball" that really mixes the powder very well, i've never had a mixing problem with these bottles. One thing that i'll be getting for the freezer is some sugar free popsicles, i think they would really "break up" the liquid routine a bit. Good Luck!!

[WMHB (Dave) 26]

Awesome!!! Thank you!!!! I am a high school math teacher and must be very organized ahead of time, just my nature, so early preperation is key for my OCD! :-)

[Crystal927 57]

Crystal - oh my goodness we have SO MUCH in common. I felt like I was reading a bio of myself when I was reading your post.

And I feel the same reading yours!!! At least we are not alone I have said since the day I graduated and started payin gmy student loans that I learned the hard way that there is a BIG difference between being "good at" something and being "passionate" about it. I am good at accounting...I don't mean that conceited in any way but I do feel I am good at what I do and that I do a really good job. But my hearts not here. And I just don't want to wake up and have muddled through life just "surviving"; life was meant to be lived! And as much as I don't want more debt from education, I don't want to do this for >30 more years even more. So I'm going to use these next few months of this new life, to really explore some options and hopefully have something ready to go maybe in the fall to go back to school. I will be vested in the retirement system here in 3 years so thats a perfect amount of time to lose this weight, get me another degree, get vested and then GO do something I love Sounds perfect anyways hehe

I hear ya on the plane rides! I LOVE to fly, but in the recent years its just gotten so uncomfortable even when flying with someone. I went to Alaska last year, we flew into Seattle and caught a cruise...on the way back we were on the redeye...I actually enjoyed it, I had a window seat and we flew over a thunderstorm it was really an awesome sight! But had we been in smaller seats like you experienced that would've just ruined it all, nothing like being miserable for 4+ hours and you can't do ANYthing about it But GIRL, this is about to change for us both!! I have a trip booked to CA/AZ/UT for the end of May (my sister graduates from nursing school) and I'm excited to see how much difference there is from flying last year (June) to flying this year, I have high hopes! Needed the belt extender last year, hoping it was my last time to have ever needed that!! and you are right, seat guru is awesome!!!

[Crystal927 57]

Awesome!!! Thank you!!!! I am a high school math teacher and must be very organized ahead of time, just my nature, so early preperation is key for my OCD! :-)

You're welcome!! And I am right there with you...must be us "math minds" and the way they work...cause I am so OCD!!!

[general_antiope 189]

Crystal, you reminded me about an outfit I bought when I went through this the first time, a large T shirt I liked (normal sized) and size 14 pants. I did get into them once I lost the weight! Funny thing was, by the time I got into them, I didn't care about the outfit anymore cause I'd found cuter outfits by then, LOL! What was "cool" to me before the journey and after was different. But my priorities had changed, too, anyway...

 

I'm going to look around for a few goal outfits. I'm currently in 18/20's on top and bottom, maybe I'll get some 12's and 10's so I keep going.

 

Dave, my surgeon also told me to get PROPEL sports drink. It has electrolytes and low sugar, and is good for helping to heal right after surgery.

[Cindy2013 99]

Oh my goodness everyone! This is such a fun group of people. I'm enjoying reading your posts and learning your personalities. I look forward to all of us being great friends and helping one another along our journeys.

I have a daughter who spent this last summer in Peru on a humanitarian trip. I so want to do something like that! I used to think it would never be possible, but who knows. When I get all this extra weight off of me, perhaps my health will be better and I'll feel alive again. Wouldn't that be something? I'm sure all of us want to feel alive again.

We have hosted 2 exchange students from Paris over the years. I would love to be able to go visit them. Maybe, just maybe...

Hi everyone! just checking in to see how everyone is doing. How are the preop diets going? I have been suffering with some afternoon headaches the past couple of days. I bought Unjury products and I really like them. They have this chicken Soup flavored powder that is actually pretty good!

Danielle, my official pre-op diet began today. I have been trying to adapt those eating habits a bit over the past few days so that it wasn't such a shock today. I didn't much feel like eating, but I obeyed all the rules today. You mention a headache. I actually am on day 4 of a horrific spinal headache from a procedure I had on thursday. I'm going tomorrow for a blood patch to fix the spinal Fluid leak, so hopefully this monstrous headache will ease off. I'm sort of okay if I am laying down, but the moment I am upright, the pressure increases and it is awful. But that is another story.

I hope your headache gets better. I told my dietician I was worried about the headaches that come when I feel the need to eat, and she said everyone gets them and it is just part of the process. Hopefully it will get better.

[general_antiope 189]

So yesterday I had my pre op work. It's a 3 hour drive to and from NYU where I choose to be banded. It gives me lots of time to think, and I'd like to share some of my thoughts with you all. (and myself)

I'm so ready for this. I'm excited, but in a different way than the first time. I was not a perfect bandster the first time and it's important to recognize our paths will all be different. Maybe my experience will help some of you.

I ended up blogging it if you're interested http://www.lapbandtalk.com/blog/455/entry-25331-the-rearview-mirror/

[Onamissionn2013 50]

Fears..can't say that I have any. If I really had to identify one it would be the fear of having to pay for this surgery! That "fear" vanished this morning when I received my actualy approval by email. I needed to see it in writing! I'm happy now that BCBS has my back! lol

Expectations...I'm expecting the band to be just what it's supposed to be..a tool. One that I prayerfully will make work for me. God has given me such a peace about this whole process, and I'm so excited. So, I'm expecting greatness, because that's what God has in the plans for me...Greatness!

Goals..my ultimate goal is to be healthy...stop taking medicine for high blood pressure & reflux..reduce my knee & back pain...and be able to keep up with my college freshman daughter! I too love to travel, and living in Europe affords me many opportunities to do this. I haven't let my weight stop me from the many places I've gone, but I know that I can do even more being several pounds lighter! :D

I've had my dates changed 3 times, but I'm truly thankful for my upcoming Valentine's present to myself! :wub:

Keep posting...I'll keep reading...thanks for the inspiration!

Have a blessed weekend!