So, I had my third therapy session with my eating disorder specialist last night, and I have to give mfp, for my mental health. I discarded my scale, and replaced my obsession with the scale with mfp's calorie counter and am restricting again - only 500-600 calories a day. So, today I start working with my nutritionist on a meal plan that's not based on calories - I will still track every bite that goes in my mouth - just not the calories. It's my second step to a healthy relationship with food and my own self-image.

I am also to track my non-food victories - quality time with my kids, doing things for myself like take a walk outside, take the exercise class I want, etc. I am very anxious about not knowing the calories for my food, but I have to trust my nutritionist and my therapist or I'll just end up sabotaging myself.

So, goodbye MFP! Wish me luck everybody! I am nervous and, quite frankly, terrified of the future, but I am proud of myself for taking these steps to healing and not letting my eating disorder control myself and my family anymore! I have 3 little girls who are watching me and learning from me and I want them to learn to love themselves and that their worth is NOT tied to their appearance, but to their character - which already amazes me everyday!

Last night at dinner, one said, "mom - you have to chew longer!" The other handed me my Vitamins this morning, and my baby said, "Be careful of your tummy!" Sweet, but my goal is for them to not notice any of this in the future...my eating should be invisible to them...That's my goal....

I'll still be on the forums, but no more mfp. It's important for my recovery...

Thanks - and good luck everybody on this journey!

Jenymac - you have my complete support. I too struggle with over-analyzing food. I spent about 3-4 weeks eating only one meal a day, desperate to see the scale move. It was driving me crazy, literally. I've also had to take a step back, stop weighing myself every day, and follow the advice of my nutritionist.

I'm doing Carb Cycling right now, which has shown me 1) how much better I feel when I am eating regularly, and 2) if I do eat 3 meals and 2 Snacks a day, I'm not going to wake up and be right back at 243 lbs. It's pulled my focus away from the sheer calorie count of everything and now I concentrate on carbs - which is essentially the same but it's forced me to look at the overall content of the food. Is it a healthy choice? It may be 200 calories, which makes me cringe, but the carb count is good and it's a healthy carb. I feel like I'm making smarter choices for my overall nutrition instead of just focusing on that magical calorie number.

Good luck to you on your continued journey. Thank you for sharing your story with us. Congratulations for getting help with your eating issues. That takes a lot of courage.

Sending hugs and lots of luck on your new journey! You can do it!

I have so much respect and admiration for you. What you're doing is nothing less than amazing.

You can do this!

A world of best wishes jenymac!!!

Whatever it takes to get you healthy and keep you healthy! I admire your trust in your nutritionist. I weigh myself weekly and there's a note on my scale that says,"this scale measures your weight and body fat. It DOES NOT measure your kindness, your loyalty or your generosity. You are more than the numbers on this scale!"

Jenymac, proud of you. You are taking control back. Do whatever it takes. Hugs!!

Whatever it takes to get you healthy and keep you healthy! I admire your trust in your nutritionist. I weigh myself weekly and there's a note on my scale that says' date='"this scale measures your weight and body fat. It DOES NOT measure your kindness, your loyalty or your generosity. You are more than the numbers on this scale!"[/quote']

Love your saying! I need to put that on my scale.

GOOD LUCK TO YOU!

Sorry but what is mfp

Sorry but what is mfp

MyFitnessPal. Its a food logging site/app.

Oh jeny...hugs...I'm proud of the steps you are taking to win this war...Good Bless you

MyFitnessPal. Its a food logging site/app.

Oh ok....,

You could have written this post for me - I absolutely believe that weighing, measuring and calorie counting for me are destructive, obsessive behaviours that lead me down the path of undereating, overexercising and mental distress. I try very hard not to engage in them.

They have their role in educating people who honestly have no idea about what, how much they eat and how much they burn.

I do not believe that counting your calories, losing and maintaining your weight loss means you have beaten obesity. You have only beaten it when you have abolished that sort of unnatural food behavious, appreciatec your body for what it is, and measure your self worth and success on non food parameters. I certainly am not there quite yet, lol