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The Psychology Of Size
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Lap Band Gal 2 posts
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ValleyGirlRN 2 posts
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jennifer1 1 post
I've noticed a pattern in my thinking over the past few months...that my "head", and my perceptions of self have not kept pace with the reality of my weight loss. Though this is common treatment issue in dealing with individuals with eating disorders (i.e. anorexia nervosa, who believe that they are physically much larger in size than they really are), I never thought it would also be an issue with people in the process of going through significant weight loss.
I've had some difficulties with my thoughts regarding my weight; my automatic thoughts have not always been up to date with the actual number...I've become aware of myself thinking about my weight, and reverting back to the pre op weight I was at. Instead of a "onederland" number, I catch myself thinking of a number which begins with a "2".
I've had an extremely difficult time with purchasing clothing in smaller sizes...recently I needed to go shopping for some capri pants which were the correct size to fit me well, and I had shrunk out of everything which I owned. I was shopping with my sister...who encouraged me to look at misses sizes, and she humored me with allowing me to take in the identical capri's but in a plus size. The misses size was obviously a better fit and my correct size, and so that's the size I ended up purchasing...but it took every ounce of willpower for me to not also purchase the plus size.
The same debate with myself is ongoing as I shrink into a smaller sizes...as I automatically look for a larger size, and if I don't find it I resist choosing to try on a size smaller just to see if it will fit. I've been pleasantly surprised several times when the smaller size was actually the one to fit.
I can "see" the evidence that physically I am smaller; I no longer have to adjust the seat in my car to get in, I fit comfortably into restaurant booths, my mobility has increased, and the size on the clothing tag is a smaller number. But I continue to be challenged with the automatic thinking which places me back at the beginning of my weight loss journey. Eventually I know my "head" will catch up with the rest of me...just another part of my journey.