I Dont Get It....

[Rach_P 0]

Hello. I was banded in October 2008. I am still the same weight as I was then. I dont understand the whole difficult process of pre-surgery and getting surgery and a lapband put in. Here is why...Those of us who have struggled with the weight and need severe help in losing the weight and getting healthy, we turn to surgery, YET we have to diet and exercise, which is exactly what we had difficulty with before.

I am a very picky eater. I do not like foods that would be better for me to eat. The foods I do eat, I cannot get down. They get stuck and I wind up purging or just in a lot of discomfort for a while.

So, I turn to things that are not so healthy for me because I can get them down. Which is my problem.

Basically I am just a bit sore because if dieting worked for me before, I wouldnt have needed surgery and all of these scars...

Thanks for listening and I look forward to sharing support!

Rachel

[Nechama L 4]

You know, I imagine what I say is not going to sound super sensitive and supportive, etc. However, after reading so many posts like yours, I have to get this off my chest. My husband, when I met him, couldnt be PAID to eat vegetables. Now he is on the Atkins diet and has lost a lot of weight, largely due to the fact that though he doesnt LIKE vegetables and he is PICKY, he sucked it up and ate them because it is and was more important to him to eat healthy (even if he didnt like the way it tasted at the beginning) than to be fat, unhealthy, not be able to enjoy our children and possibly die at a younger age from weight related medical issues. He is still experimenting to find ways to make them as tasty as possible for him and he SUCKS IT UP. Sure, we would all prefer that healthy foods taste like chocolate and Cookies, but the fact is, they don't. So if you went to the trouble to get banded, you must have realized that you were not having a magical weight loss machine put into you which would suddenly make the weight melt off you without any work. You don't mention at all about how you exercise at least 3 times a week and have limited your portions. All you say is that you are the same weight now as you were 3 years ago. That tells me that you think the band will do all the work for you. You need to go back to your doctor (I imagine you havent been to him/her in a long time) and work as a team to make the band work WITH you, not FOR you. You need to get in your kitchen with those foods that are good for you and a bunch of cookbooks and experiment until you find a way to eat those foods prepared in a healthy way that you can tolerate. You need to drop the self pity and realize that obesity is a disease and you carry inside yourself a GIFT. Don't squander it just because it hasn't lived up to your expectations. Make it work for you and your future.

[CheckYes 46]

Hey,

I can understand that it would be really disappointing to have gone through the surgery and not have it help you. I can go on the whole "band is a tool" thing but realistically - I think some of us expected more help from the band than it provides. Please don't think I am being rude by suggesting this but I think you should seek therapy for food issues. I say this because it has helped me tremendously. Even if you don't get to the root of your food issues, you might start to realize that you deserve a healthy life. You are worth the effort and overeating and not looking after yourself is harmful to you and you are, in fact, abusing yourself by not looking after yourself.

Perhaps you can go to a Food Addicts Anonymous meeting (if you identify as a food addict). Check out www.foodaddictsanonymous.org for a meeting near you. They even do some online meetings and its free.

I also suggest you try to expand your horizons when it comes to what foods you like and don't like. If you can't get the foods down that are healthy for you perhaps you need less Fluid in your band (or do you mean you can't get them down because you don't like them?). Pick a veggie you like and eat it often. Pick a fruit you like and buy enough to have one a day for a week. Baby steps are the way to go here.

Bottom line - you could try to renew your commitment to yourself to get healthy. I think you can do it.

Best wishes,

[minniekitty 44]

Yeah, all WLS winds down to diet and exercise- but they're supposed to make it easier for you. If you had more invasive surgery like the gastric bypass or the sleeve, you'd definitely lose all the weight quickly at first; but, if you didn't adapt a healthy diet and lifestyle, you'd gain all the weight back. I've seen and heard about it all before.

I'm sorry WLS didn't work for you. You still have the band, so you can always start over. I have a friend who had slow weight loss that came to a halt the first year she had the band. Her fiancee left her, and she was very depressed. A few years later, though, she actually buckled down and the weight dropped off. She's now skinny and looks great. So, it's not impossible.

Unless you find a doctor to do extensive lipo-suction on you for the rest of your life, the only way you'll lose weight (and maintain) is through diet and exercise. It sucks, but it's true!

[Dave_NW 92]

I think you have unrealistic expectations of the band, and what it does. At the end of the day, all the band is intended to do is dim your appetite, so you can use your willpower and common sense to achieve the weight loss you're after. To expect the band to do more than that is inviting frustration and weight loss failure.

It's true - the band doesn't do anything you can't do for yourself. Technically. So you're right - you possibly could do this with diet and exercise. I did that. And I lost the same 20 pounds a dozen times. For me, the band helps keep the hunger monsters at bay, so I can focus on the rest of my life, and NOT focus on the next meal, or mindless snacking, or finding junk food, or finding the nearest drive-thru. It's liberating for me to be able to NOT constantly have to worry about where I'll find my next meal.

I don't diet, in the traditional sense. I eat healthier food, compared to how I used to eat, but I eat "real world" food, focusing on higher Protein, lower glycemic carbs, and avoiding fried, fatty, or overly-sweet foods. (Note I said "avoiding" not eliminating - I still eat some of those kinds of things, just not a lot.) And I find I'm very satisfied with a smaller portion of food, because my band is properly adjusted. The balance of calories in vs. calories out is up to me, and I take responsibility for my weight loss. I work my band, and in return, it works for me.

When you make statements like "I am a very picky eater. I do not like foods that would be better for me to eat. The foods I do eat, I cannot get down. They get stuck and I wind up purging or just in a lot of discomfort for a while." it shows you're doing something wrong. If you eat in proper bandster methods (small bites, taken slowly, chewed thoroughly, and not rushed), there is no reason why you shouldn't be able to eat anything you want. The rest is all about the food decisions you're making.

I suggest you evaluate what you're taking in every day, compared with what you're burning off every day. See your doctor to discuss your situation, and what you can do about it. Find out if your band is properly adjusted, and if there is a medical reason you're having such trouble. There is no reason to have to suffer with a band. For me, it has been a Godsend, and I'm grateful every single day that I have my life back in control.

Good luck!

Dave

[KimPJames 0]

Hi Rachel,

Part of my journey was dealing with the emotional aspects of why I overate. Here are several resources that may help you:

Karen Koenig: Counselor and author on emotional eating: http://www.eatingnormal.com/ All her books are terrific.

Lap Band Gal Blog: She is a success story with the lap band. I find her writing inspiring, honest and whole-hearted: http://lapbandgalsjourney.blogspot.com/

Come join us on Lap Band Divas Facebook group. Lots of help and success stories there.

Best of luck to you,

-Kim

http://myquatto.blogspot.com/

Hello. I was banded in October 2008. I am still the same weight as I was then. I dont understand the whole difficult process of pre-surgery and getting surgery and a lapband put in. Here is why...Those of us who have struggled with the weight and need severe help in losing the weight and getting healthy, we turn to surgery, YET we have to diet and exercise, which is exactly what we had difficulty with before.

I am a very picky eater. I do not like foods that would be better for me to eat. The foods I do eat, I cannot get down. They get stuck and I wind up purging or just in a lot of discomfort for a while.

So, I turn to things that are not so healthy for me because I can get them down. Which is my problem.

Basically I am just a bit sore because if dieting worked for me before, I wouldnt have needed surgery and all of these scars...

Thanks for listening and I look forward to sharing support!

Rachel

[Mimilou2004 13]

I think you are hopeless and should give up.

Mimi

[Snoopyloverny 3]

Rach, ok after reading everyones comments they say what I wanted to write so I won't repeat . But what I do want to reinforce is that we are all here to help you, we respond with constructive criticism bc we do care. Its not always good to hear bit ot os ecpressed with much truth and love for your wellbeing. We bandits stick together. I'm glad you found the place to vent here. Now take the advice here and seriously put forth your best effort to "get er done "!

[Rach_P 0]

Well for my first time on this forum, one comment was pretty harsh, the others were what I needed to hear.

I am not new to WLS, I was banded 2 years ago. I would not be frustrated if I saw some sort of change. I have tried working on my weight but have only maintained. Hence the frustration with the help it should have given me. Notice I wrote "help". Though I should be grateful that I have not gained!

Yes, it boils down to diet and exercise, but if everyone were perfect we wouldnt have obesity. I have been overweight since I was a child. It's been ME for about 30 years. It is not something that is easy to change. I had high hopes that the surgery would push me into losing.

I came here for support, to get and hopefully to give as well. Thank you all who have given your advice. I will be rereading it again and again in hopes of it helping me with what I need to do!

Looking forward to getting to know you all better!

Regards,

Rachel

[JanPuppyLover 2]

Hi Rachel--

I am a newbie - not even banded yet and just exploring. So while I can't offer any advice about the Lap Band journey or what you are going through, I can offer you an important observation. I really do think that you came to the right place for support. I think that there are many here who want you and others to succeed and who are proud and eager to offer you whatever support they can to help you with this difficult journey. Please ignore the naysayer (s) and focus instead on the people here who really do want to offer genuine support and advice.

Given where you are now and your understandable level of frustration, I am wondering whether your doctor is offering you, and you are accepting, the appropriate level of aftercare to help make this work. I have read so much on here about the delicate balance between fills and unfills in helping to control appetite while allowing for sufficient nutrition.

If your doctor is not offering that kind of support, perhaps others on here can suggest how to get that "physical" part nailed down with your (or another) physician.

My best wishes and hope that you will be able to find the support and answers you need.

[esch 3]

It sounds like you might be a little too tight if you are unable to tolerate "good for you" foods. You should be able to eat solid Proteins. Maybe a slight unfil? I would talk with your doctor

[ctarantino 13]

Hi Rachel!

Im offering help and suggestions. I am note banded but have reached out for support on various levels. I just bought a great books, Ive asked my friends and family whom have had the surgery and spoken with them all, Ive atteneded meetings and know that the WLS meetings will help me when I am down and motivate me when I am up and down, I have a slew of support and have had to reeducate myself, I took the inititatve to search through hundreds of youtube videos, hundreds of pages on diet and fitness on this board...all with my pen in hand and my notepad to write down things I CAN eat.

I maybe the worlds worst eater (okay maybe not the world) but I hated all things that are green (minus grapes) my favorite foods were Bagels for Breakfast, pizza for lunch and Pasta for dinner...ahh all comfort foods and carbies. Ive learned that carbs for my body are NOT good. I would love to eat breads, rice and pasta but my drive to change my eating style has forced me to ask myself do I want to live or die? I had my son almost a year ago and I had gestational diabetes..that was the eye opener I needed. I have learned to not love veggies but deal with it and make the best I can..there are TONS of cook books with foods that I will eat and how to prepare so its not boring or I can mask the taste of things. LOL Today i am learning to eat healthier because I have 2 beautiful children that I want to live for, I want to take pictures with them and not avoid the camera, i want to walk down the street and not slump down o suck in to hide my belly. Write down why you got the surgery in the first place, hold ont that and do your best. We will all have our ups and downs but the surgery for me is a lifechanging event. yes, it sucks that I couldnt diet and exercise before but you better believe that starting tomorrow (my surgery date) I am on a new path to life and health and happiness. I wish you luck on your continued jouney. Cara

[ontask 0]

Mimi you need help yourself, that was such a sad, rude, and uncaring comment. A mature adult would have been a little bit more compassion.

I think you are hopeless and should give up.

Mimi

[elcee 3,340]

I think when Mimi said this it was very "tongue in cheek". I don't think she was being rude.

But seriously if the OP is not prepared to even try eating healthier then she probably is a hopeless case. I far prefer chocolate to veggies as well but I am realistic enough to know that if I want to be healthy I have to eat stuff that is good for me.

[honk 780]

I think Mimi was being horribly rude and mean spirited. Geesh