NEWBIE:Scared to Get Lapband

[NeenBand 7]

Hi all!

I'm in New Jersey, and am 235 at 5'6 and 42 years old. Asthma,

fibromyalgia, high cholestral, Trigl. etc. Polycystic ovary

syndrome.

I am considering the Lap Band as I can't control my portions and the weight and health issues are getting worse. I would never take the risk of RNY, but getting the Lap Band is also scaring the beejebus out of me.

I wanted to come to a board that would be more objective than

those singing the praises of the thing (it's okay to do that too, if it warrants it! :-))

Thanks for any help you can give me.

Leener

[sleepyjean 0]

I think the best thing you can do is just hang around here for a while and read through the threads. This group discusses the good, the bad, and the ugly! You'll get an idea of what it's like to go through the surgery and how yuor life will have to change afterward. I also recommend Weight Loss Surgery for Dummies. It was pretty useful for me when I was just getting started.

I also think that at your height and weight, you're just shy of a BMI of 40. Most insurers will require you to have a BMI of 40 or a BMI of 35 plus one or more "comorbidities." I'm not sure if your other health issues would count. You'd have to check with your insurer.

[kt_199 0]

Just a quick warning about the board. There are MANY very sincere people here with great insight and experience. However, there are a few who seems to have a chicken little view of things. You really have to view things over time to be able to discern the difference, so be patient and try to get a good feel for those that really want to help and those that are looking for playmates to their pity party. Here is my opinion:

The band works for some and not others. If your expectation is that the band is a tool as part of a larger solution, then you have a GREAT chance of success. However, if you are looking for a fix that will allow long term weight loss with no change of the emotional and psychological reasons for your weight gain, than your chance of success is MUCH lower. Also, be very sure that you have a decent basic health and fitness education. If you are not aware that eating a large Big Mac value meal (with an extra Big Mac just to be sure) is a bad thing, then you are not ready for the band.

Keep in mind, even the band doesn't prohibit me from grazing all day on really bad things. For me, the band is the best tool for me to control my portion size and assist me in making better choices for the limited space I have.

[Alexandra 55]

Where are you in New Jersey? It might be a good idea for you to find a real live support group so you can meet bandsters face to face. I know that was the single most helpful thing I did before having surgery.

What specifically scares you about being banded? Or is it just the whole idea of surgery? It is a scary thing, and everyone has to look at their own reasons for proceeding. At some point, if the potential improvement in health outweights the risks and costs, we proceed. Ask away, don't be shy, and definitely try to find some 3D bandsters you can meet up with. The support group I attend is open to all, and you can attend the surgeons' pre-op seminar at no cost as well.

Online chatting is all well and good, but meeting and talking with people in real life makes a huge difference if you can do it. If you're interested in attending a meeting where I go, the next one is on January 4. Let me know!

[NJChick 3]

Welcome fellow Jerseyian

Where in Jersey are you ?

I believe you came to the right place for help, the folks here are wonderful. The best thing you can do is research the life out of it and go from there.

Good luck !!!

[NeenBand 7]

I am in Matawan NJ, exit 120! ;-p

I am looking into going to a support group as we speak. Actually two, because I am checking out two different surgeons. Dr. Chau and Dr. Mehta.

I am afraid of the surgery, I am afraid I won't wake up or have complication and dying is not worth it and it sounds strange, but the thought of having something foregn inside me, wrapped around my stomach is a little scary.

What scares me is what it will be like afterwards. i don't really know. I don't want to get the band and then freak out about what I have done because I was not prepared for the changes.

For example, I bolt down my food, I don't know how to eat slowly. I have read things about people eating broccoli and almost fainting from the spasms, etc.. I am a vegetarian too by the way. It frightens me that I could not chew well enough and have to go to the ER because of it.

[sleepyjean 0]

When my cousin's first baby was born, he didn't see the point of child-proofing the house. My cousin's opinion was the kid would learn on her own. She'd only have to put her fingers in a socket once to learn not to do that ever again. (Yeah, he's father of the year material.)

I think of the band as a similar approach. It will only take one attempted binge for me to really "get it" that I absolutely cannot do that anymore. As crazy as it sounds, it's going to take some pain and discomfort to break me of the habit of eating a LOT and eating it FAST. And it won't take long to figure out what I can and can't eat and how much I have to chew before I swallow. But I'm prepared for the change - looking forward to it, even.

I was also terrified of this surgery when I first heard it. I hate doctors, needles, pain, bleeding, etc. I couldn't imagine volunteering to let someone cut me open, much less actually paying thousands of dollars for it. But I finally reached a point where the fear of living the rest of my life as an obese person (with all the medical issues that entails) overcame my fear of the surgery.You may not be at the point yet, and it's okay if you aren't.

I totally don't mean this in a harsh or patronizing way, but you aren't unique. We are ALL here because we eat too much, eat too fast, etc. I didn't see anything in your message that would make you a special case (e.g. you're missing all your teeth so you have to make like a python and swallow everything whole). I also think your worries are normal. We all worry that we won't have the self control to follow through on this (after all, if we had that kind of control, none of us would be in this boat in the first place!) I guess my thought is, if all these folks here can win that battle, so can you and I. It won't be easy, but it is winable.

Spend some time really thinking about it and searching your heart. If you think this is something you truly cannot do, then I suggest you don't get banded. Or at least put it off and think about it some more.

If it helps, I don't think I've run across any stories in this forum about people who were hospitalized for swallowing a big bite of food. Or anyone who has died from the procedure. That would be front page news around here if it had happened.

[gentlespirit 1]

I am not yet banded (scheduled for Jan. 24) and have learned SO much from these people. They are very open and honest about the pros and cons and what to expect after surgery and healing. I think now I can go into it with a very realistic view of what I'm getting into. Any surgery is scary and has some slight risk, but I agree with sleepyjean...I had to get to the place that my fear of living the rest of my life with the complications of obesity was greater than my fear of the unknown "after surgery" life. From what I understand, eating too much or too fast isn't life threatening, but it can and probably will make you miserable enough so that you don't want to repeat the experience. Most of us need that for behavior modification...obviously what we've been doing so far isn't working or we wouldn't be considering the band. I wouldn't consider the RNY either, so this makes sense for me, I think.

Please keep reading here...you will learn so much and it will help you make a better informed decision. Good luck!

Emily

[Sunta 4]

Hi,

I totally relate to everything you're saying. I'm not banded yet and I am very scared. I am wary of having a foreign object in my body too and am very frightened about having to take tiny bites because I wolf my food down and take enormous bites. I'm afraid of a million things. Also, I am nearly 100% healthy with no major co-existing health issues, so for me, I keep thinking I'm going to mess up a really healthy (though fat) body and what a tradgedy that would be. But, on the flip side, I come to this board and I look at the before and after pictures. I read the poll that has 0% of people saying they would not do it again and over 80% of people saying they are thrilled with their decision to get the band. These things give me tremendous inspiration. I think about buying clothes in a regular store, fitting into an airplane or a movie theater seat comfortably, being able to climb stairs without being winded, being able to go on vacation and walk around without my feet hurting so bad I feel crippled. All of these things make it worth the calculated and well-researched risk to me. This board is great and you will find alot of things to inspire and inform you here.

[Victoriana 10]

Dear Sunta, I dont know how old you are but time plus weight will bring health issues if you do not address the weight. I believed like you once that my witght would not hurt me comming from a large family. I did not know that my sleep, energy, emotional affect and finances were being affected by my weight as much as they were. I encourage you to loose the weight even if you do not use the band.

[ladysplenda 1]

I was banded Dec 1st. It was a very easy surgery and I have lost 25 lbs.

I am diabetic and it has lowered my insulin to ten units, My blood pressure it great.It will add years to your life.I would have it to prevent future problems.My daughter is 18 and she is having it . Because she is at risk to get diabeties.She weighs about 250.

[ReneBean 3]

I can totally get past the "foreign object" issue - I view the band like I would a pace-maker or a replacement knee cap.

I would not freak-out about having either of those things if I knew it was the only way to make my heart beat regularly or the only way to be able to walk. And I am pretty sure that the band will be the only way to make me slow down & chew my food....

What scares me, a little, is the whole "change" issue. I admit it - I am spoiled. I am used to eating what I want to, when I want to. I gave up on the whole diet thing a while back because 1) I have a complete lack of self control, and 2) the yo-yo effect was only making me fatter, whereas eating what I wanted, I maintained.

Change is hard - no matter how much we know it's the right thing. I don't even want to think about not being able to eat a burger or white rice.

But, on the other hand, I don't want to think about the bad things that happen to fat girls over 40, either. My family history is pretty ugly - and I am already experiencing less than acceptable mobility due to my bulk.

I guess it's just a matter of which thing scares you more... I have made my decision - now I am just trying to convince my insurance company to pay for it...

I can tell you that so far as surgeries are concerned - this one is pretty easy. No major reconstruction work and fewer complications than any other Bariatric Surgery currently available.

Take your time. Read everything. Talk to people face-to-face. Read some more. Think some more. In the end, only you can make the decision - because only you will be the one who has to do the work and lose the weight.

Happy Deliberating!

[NeenBand 7]

Hey all, thank you so very much for your posts. Sleepyjean, thank you for your post as it struck home.

I know it has been in Europe but is new to the US, but I would love to hear from those who have had it for longer term, to hear about complications, etc.

I'd like to know how this thing does 10-15 years out, not the 2-3 years I normally see.

And another thing that freaks me out is erosion. I mean, what the heck happens to your poor stomach after THAT? :-o

[Bensmum1109 0]

OF COURSE YOU ARE SCARED!!! You wouldn't be human not to be scared.

This is a very safe procedure and the complications do tend to be minimal for the large majority of people. You will have to learn to have better food choices, to eat slower, take smaller bites, and chew well. You have to take Vitamin supplements and extra Protein FOREVER.

The band will teach you much of this naturally, as the discomfort you get from not following the chewing and eating slowly rules is like aversion therapy. Once you have a few "golf balls" or PBs you will start to follow the rules to avoid these problems.

3 1/2 months after surgery, I have discovered that most of my head hunger has disappeared. It makes it easier for me to eat the right things. And if I am occasionally going to eat the wrong thing, my band prevents me from eating too much of it.

I think the best way to make a decision about this procedure is to think about the quality of life you have now, and whether or nor that is enjoyable for you. Probably not, or you wouldn't care whether or not you lost weight. And what do you think your chances are of dying or becoming permanently disabled from a disease either caused by, or exacerbated by your obesity? VERSUS- the chances of dying or becoming disabled by having a LapBand.

I wil bet all my chips on the band. I know with my band I am getting healthier every day, and have reduced my health risks of diabetes, heart disease, etc.

Good luck to you in your decision.

[vinesqueen 2]

Hey Leener, welcome.

Before I was banded I had the worst asthma. Several breathing treatments with my home nebulizer DAILY. Near daily, and definately weekly trips to the ER, steroids, and afraid I would die in SE ID alone and far from my family and frinds.

I was banded this last March, and as a direct result of being banded my asthma is practically gone. GONE.

It's true that I haven't had the weight loss success that I want, or expected. But I didn't die.

Oh, and if you are banded, I can pretty much garentee that you will freak out for a few days saying "OH MY GAWD! OH MY GAWD!! WHAT DID I DO???!!!!" But you get over it.

The band teaches you to go slow, to chew to goo, because if you don't, you get hit with the pain stick. Not fun, but after you learn your lessones, it's all good.

Eating becomes something that you have to do, not something that you are driven to do. It's sort of like "Do I have to eat again??? Geeze, I just ate 4 hours again. Oh man."