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As it is right now more people know then I would like about me getting this done. I have a job and a part time job and at both places is at least 1 person who has had it done, with great results and little to no complciations, yet I still heard negative feed back. Thankfully in both places are a few people who are greatly supporting me as well and that really helps. My immediate family knows and a few other family members that had to be told because the surgery & recovery time interfered with other family plans that were extremely important and I couldnt play the "sorry I work" card. I wouldnt have told the in-laws (all but one arent totally pro idea) but I have one that lives with us and has a big mouth so...they all know. Really quick I had to get thick skin because I wasnt just hearing the negative feed back cuz of surgery but also because I'm going to Mexico. So I just tell them the facts, results of my research, and end it with "Its my body, my mind, my soul, my decision. Thank you for worrying however I have done my homework and I have made up my mind and feel confident I am doing the right thing for me and my family". After that they can scoff all they want or support me...thats their decision. For the most part though I have noticed, I have more support then negativity I just need to tone out the negative ones and I'm fine =)

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Me too. Did you have your surgery yet?

I'm hoping to get my lap band next month. Right now I'm very secretive about telling anyone. The only one who knows is my husband. I guess I'm feeling that this is "cheating"... and people will think negtively about it. Anyone else feel or felt the same way?? I'm pretty nervous abou the whole thing and how I will explain it to everyone. I'm just thinking that I'm going to just them the I'm under a very strict diet with my doctor. Anyone going through any of these feelings??

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I am lucky as my BFF had is 8 years ago and is a great support!

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Be proud of your decision to become healthy don't ever be ashamed!!! If people ever give you crap about it (I've never had anyone ever be negative about it) but I would get right back in their face and be like well this is my business and not yours and I did the right thing for me and basically you can shove your opinion up your you know what!!!!

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When I had surgery the doctor discovered a small hernia that he fixed. My mother was really excited because she could tell my aunts (her sisters) that she was staying with me because of the hernia operation. I am not telling the whole world becuase I don't think it's their business. My aunts can be pretty pushy and my mother just does not have it in her to lie so it was a great answer as to why she was staying with me for a week.

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Me too. Did you have your surgery yet?

YEP!! I had surgery on Dec. 27th. It's only been 4 weeks and I feel AWESOME!! I had NO problems at all, except a little problem with an allergic reaction to the surgical tape. The Doc gave me an RX for the red sore skin. But all of that is healing nicely now.

I'm starting to get my appetite back... maybe that need I'm soon ready for a fill....??

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HI

I haven't told anyone...I don't think i will either...Just my husband knows..I am paying for my surgery so im scared of judgement and what family will think ..Im scheduled in Feb.

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I understand everyones concern on who to tell and how people would react, but remember we are all doing this for ourselves. Each of us that has choosen to do the surgery has tried a dozen of diets before even considering this surgery. I know I have spent so much money on trying different diets and the most I have lost on the diets were about 10 to 15 lbs.

Having this surgery is stressful enough for us all, because believe it or not it is a big life change for us all. Just worrying about that is enough than to worry about what everyone is going to say about us having surgery. Also, remember that this surgery is only a tool we have to change our way of eating to make this a success and not forget about the exercise on a dailu basis.

Good luck everyone it is hard enough to put our life through this and then have to worry about what other people are thinking.

Dora

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Ohh i have something to say about this...People are soooooo judgemental and negitive...i am sick and tired of talking about to the people who give me dirty looks or say stupid ignorant comments like "have you ever tried eating healthy and working out?". REALLY? i feel like slaping people like that. I decided to only tell those people that need to know. its no ones business and this surgery is no where near "EASY WAY OUT". Keep it to yourself and this is what being on this site is for...to vent and talk about it with other people who understand. If one more 125lb friend of mine says one more comment like "try weight watchers" or "join the gym with me". I will flip. thank you..VENT OVER...surgery date feb7th!

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OK, First of all I told all of my family and close friends, and close coworkers with 100% support from them all. They all know how sick I've been getting over the last few years due to my obesity. Since I'm up to about 45 pounds lost now, people are definitely starting to notice. But as far as other "acquaintances" go, here's my policy:

  • For thin people that say "Wow, you've been losing weight. How'd you do it?" I say "I cut out bread, soda and sweets, I drink a lot of Water, and I exercise every single day." Which is all true.
  • For larger people who I think really want to know "So, how are you doing it?" I say "I had the lap band procedure which helps, but I'm working really hard to follow the suggested eating guidelines and I exercise a lot!" I just want to make sure that they know that the lapband helps, but it isn't magic... and that you still have to work hard to succeed with it.

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OK, First of all I told all of my family and close friends, and close coworkers with 100% support from them all. They all know how sick I've been getting over the last few years due to my obesity. Since I'm up to about 45 pounds lost now, people are definitely starting to notice. But as far as other "acquaintances" go, here's my policy:

  • For thin people that say "Wow, you've been losing weight. How'd you do it?" I say "I cut out bread, soda and sweets, I drink a lot of Water, and I exercise every single day." Which is all true.
  • For larger people who I think really want to know "So, how are you doing it?" I say "I had the lap band procedure which helps, but I'm working really hard to follow the suggested eating guidelines and I exercise a lot!" I just want to make sure that they know that the lapband helps, but it isn't magic... and that you still have to work hard to succeed with it.

:bananapowerslide: :iagree:

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I've told my husband and a few people at work. Once I get approval, I'll tell my mother/father in law. (mostly because we'll need their help with the kids on the day of surgery). My family is very judgemental, so I'm opting to not tell them at this point. During my psych eval, I was AMAZED to be told that it's OKAY to not tell people! That mad eme feel so much better.

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I was not telling while thinking IF I should get a surgery.

After I started the process, decided on the band, doctor.. etc... I did tell my mom and her boyfriend, my brother, his girlfriend, my cousin, my closest friend, her parents, her husband, 1/3 of my coworkers ...:D

Now I simply can not fail and be embarrassed - I have to succeed B)

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I've just told people I'm having a hiatal hernia repair and my dr wants me to lose some weight before surgery to make it safer an a quicker recovery. And it's true, o am having a hernia repair...I just didn't tell anyone that a lapband was going in @ the same time.

We have a similar story. I'm having my left overy/cyst removed at the same time as i'm getting the band (getting banded on 1/31) so I can at least tell people that I'm having surgery. My immediate family, closest friends and a few close co-workers know the truth, but I just don't feel comfortable telling more. Of course, I have an Aunt with a big mouth so I'm sure it will get out before long. I don't plan to lie if someone asks, I just don't want to volunteer the information.

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I have told my cousin who had the gastric bypass that I was doing it and she said congrats. Other than that I have not told anyone else that I was actually going to go through with the surgery I just told my mother, and husband that I was playing around with the idea. I feel ashamed but I have been fighting my weight for the past 10 years I need extra help be for it gets out of control. My endocrinologist congratualted me today. I will tell my husband maybe 3 months into my 6 month medically supervised diet.

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    • Theweightisover2024🙌💪

      Question for anyone, how did you get your mind right before surgery? Like as far as eating better foods and just doing better in general? I'm having a really hard time with this. Any help is appreciated 🙏❤️
      · 2 replies
      1. NickelChip

        I had about 6 months between deciding to do surgery and getting scheduled. I came across the book The Pound of Cure by Dr. Matthew Weiner, a bariatric surgeon in Arizona, and started to implement some of the changes he recommended (and lost 13 lbs in the process without ever feeling deprived). The book is very simple, and the focus is on whole, plant based foods, but within reason. It's not an all or nothing approach, or going vegan or something, but focuses on improvement and aiming for getting it right 80-90% of the time. His suggestions are divided into 12 sections that you can tackle over time, perhaps one per month for a year if a person is just trying to improve nutrition and build good habits. They range from things like cutting out artificial sweetener or eating more beans to eating a pound of vegetables per day. I found it really effective pre-surgery and it's an eating style I will be working to get back to as I am further out from surgery and have more capacity. Small changes you can sustain will do the most for building good habits for life.

      2. Theweightisover2024🙌💪

        That sounds awesome. I'll have to check that out thanks!

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      I was able to go for a 10K/6mile hike in the mountains two days ago just for the fun of it. In the before days, I might have attempted this, but it would have taken me 7 or 8 hours to complete and I would have been exhausted and in pain for the next two days. Taking my time with breaks for snacks and water, I was finished with my wee jaunt in only 4 hours 😎 and really got to enjoy photographing some insects, fungi, and turtles.
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