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cancun,

I was not try to be offensive and I am sorry you took it that way. I was just saying maybe we can help someone else with our journey.I think our society makes us feel like we have to keep some things to ourselves. I am a person who has alot of thoughts in my head and can't put them down on paper.

Basically just saying I was fighting the same struggle that my friend is and we choose to deal with it differently.

Again sorry you took it wrong.

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wow.... this was my first post here... and already I'm sooooo happy with all the support. I think right now, I'm going to keep this "secret" to myself and my husband. However, it makes it alot easier knowing I have all of you to vent with!!! Thanx so much for your encouragement, support and words of kindness. I'm gonna like it here!!!

--> HeatherinCA ~ looks like you're being banded tomorrow. Good luck and keep us posted on how it goes.

I'm also in Southern CA seeing a Dr. in Beverly Hills.

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I am usually a big mouth and tell everyone everything. When I went to my first support meeting at my doctor's office the first thing that was said by one lady was BE CAREFUL WHO YOU TELL. It really got me thinking and I decided not the tell anyone except husband, children, and sister-in-law (my number one support person).

It has been hard for me sometimes because I am an open book. I just did not want any negtively.

Then last week I was hospitalized for 5 days. I was septsis with E coli. I was so thankful that my extented family and friends did not know about my band. I know I would have had to hear how the band made me sick and how I was wrong to get it. Well it was NOT the band that made me sick but I could have never have convinced them.

I can always tell them when I am ready. It may be years from now. Once you tell you can never take it back. Listen to that small iner voice. You will know when and who to tell.

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wow.... this was my first post here... and already I'm sooooo happy with all the support. I think right now, I'm going to keep this "secret" to myself and my husband. However, it makes it alot easier knowing I have all of you to vent with!!! Thanx so much for your encouragement, support and words of kindness. I'm gonna like it here!!!

--> HeatherinCA ~ looks like you're being banded tomorrow. Good luck and keep us posted on how it goes.

I'm also in Southern CA seeing a Dr. in Beverly Hills.

yep, i'm getting banded at UC Irvine. My doctor is in LA though, my insurance just demanded a "Center of excellence" so he travels there too

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In the beginning the only people that knew was my immediate family. I mentioned to several people I was "thinking" about it and all I got was negative feedback - everyone "knew" someone that had it done and they all had problems with it. I just got tired of telling people and hearing all the bad stories.

I now tell people only if they ask - I don't volunteer the information. Most of the time I just say "Im eating smaller portions & exercising more".

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Ever since I decided to go through with the surgery, I knew I didn't want to tell anyone, other than my mother ( I still live at home, and need someone to take care of me! :) ). As I started going through the process, all the doctors appointments and classes, I realized that I did need some support. I decided to tell my boyfriend of 5 years, and 2 of my best friends. I struggled with who to tell because it is not something I want to be judged for. I have made my own decisions, and I need support, not scrutiny. I am still withholding it from my my 3rd best friend because I know she will have nothing good to say. For me, it is not something I want to broadcast. I want people to know to support me and help me through my journey. Good luck to you all, it is not as easy of a journey as I originally thought.

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Hi Carol Ann,

I'm being banded 12/27/10. I've had the same thoughts/feelings as you regarding telling other folks. It's almost like I'm ashamed I couldn't do it myself with diet and exercise. However, the people I have told (close coworkers, family) have been supportive for the most part. I think just do what you're comfortable with. Good luck!

I'm hoping to get my lap band next month. Right now I'm very secretive about telling anyone. The only one who knows is my husband. I guess I'm feeling that this is "cheating"... and people will think negtively about it. Anyone else feel or felt the same way?? I'm pretty nervous abou the whole thing and how I will explain it to everyone. I'm just thinking that I'm going to just them the I'm under a very strict diet with my doctor. Anyone going through any of these feelings??

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In the beginning the only people that knew was my immediate family. I mentioned to several people I was "thinking" about it and all I got was negative feedback - everyone "knew" someone that had it done and they all had problems with it. I just got tired of telling people and hearing all the bad stories.

I now tell people only if they ask - I don't volunteer the information. Most of the time I just say "Im eating smaller portions & exercising more".

This is also what I tell people who notice my loss and ask what is working for me. It is completely and totally the truth and it is what is working - the band is just a tool, I am the one doing the work....

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yep, i'm getting banded at UC Irvine. My doctor is in LA though, my insurance just demanded a "Center of excellence" so he travels there too

How did you surgery go Heather? Hope you're feeling GREAT! Let us know.

~ Carol Ann

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Finally broke down and told one of my sisters today; not only was she totally supportive but she also said she was happy I was finally doing something for ME and who cares what anyone else thinks? Since she's like my best friend, I can't tell you how happy I am to have her on board. Now to tell the rest of my family...don't care if they're not supportive but hopefully they'll accept it.

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Personally, I have pretty much told everyone I see on a daily basis, and immediate family. Some reacted positively, others told me stories of how it didn't work for so and so that had it, others had lots of questions. I work in a hospital and I'm surrounded by nurses and doctors, so it's a bit different. People are a little less judgemental where I work. My reasoning for telling so many people is that they will help hold me accountable. It's sort of twisted I know, but in a way I want them to judge me so that I stick with this, and try my hardest to get this under control. Whether they think I'm cheating or not doesn't really matter to me, but if I don't lose this weight even after having the band placed, that will be very upsetting!

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I'm hoping to get my lap band next month. Right now I'm very secretive about telling anyone. The only one who knows is my husband. I guess I'm feeling that this is "cheating"... and people will think negtively about it. Anyone else feel or felt the same way?? I'm pretty nervous abou the whole thing and how I will explain it to everyone. I'm just thinking that I'm going to just them the I'm under a very strict diet with my doctor. Anyone going through any of these feelings??

Hi Carol Anne! You and I are in the same boat. I am getting banded on December 22nd. The only person that knows is my husband! I want to tell me sisters and my mother sooo badly but I know what their reactions will be. They are all at normal weight and don't understand. They would tell me to work out more and watch what I eat. Obviously that hasn't worked for me.

Rather than dealing with explaining it to everyone, I am just keeping it to myself! I am nervous about Christmas coming up and what my "excuse" will be for not eating and only drinking liquids. My husband and I are trying to come up with excuses. At times I feel bad that I am keeping this big secret but it's my life. The most important person in my life (my husband) is supporting me and that is all I need right now!

Best of luck to you!

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Hi Carol Anne! You and I are in the same boat. I am getting banded on December 22nd. The only person that knows is my husband! I want to tell me sisters and my mother sooo badly but I know what their reactions will be. They are all at normal weight and don't understand. They would tell me to work out more and watch what I eat. Obviously that hasn't worked for me.

Rather than dealing with explaining it to everyone, I am just keeping it to myself! I am nervous about Christmas coming up and what my "excuse" will be for not eating and only drinking liquids. My husband and I are trying to come up with excuses. At times I feel bad that I am keeping this big secret but it's my life. The most important person in my life (my husband) is supporting me and that is all I need right now!

Best of luck to you!

You could very truthfully say that you are on a medically supervised diet, because you are and will be at that point.

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You could very truthfully say that you are on a medically supervised diet, because you are and will be at that point.

Wow, it is so strange that you say that because my husband just came up with the same "excuse." Thank you for your reply!

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

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