Looking for support

[emmielouwho 0]

hello everyone!

I am new to this forum. I just got my approval from my insurance today for surgery. I have been thinking very hard these past few months about the procedure. Deep down I really want to do it but my mom, who is my best friend, is not being supportive. She doesn't want me to do this at all and it's really making my decision on whether or not to have the Lap Band very difficult. I value her opinion alot. That is really the only thing holding me back from moving forward with things.

Has anyone out there encountered a similar situation? I need some words of encouragement and positive feedback! Thanks!

[someuser 0]

Hi Emmie,

I'm sorry your mom is not being supportive. Did she explain why?

My mother was the same at first. She just didn't understand why I would want to do this because she felt as though I was taking the easy way out. When I explained it to her that it's a tool and not an easy fix, that I was still going to have to work hard, she started to understand better.

I think if you were to educate her as much as you educated yourself to make this decision she may start to understand and be a little more supportive.

I hope this helps..

[thebandedgirl 0]

It's really hard to offer advice when I know so little. Why does your mom object to the surgery? Have you had a discussion with her about the pros and cons?

My boyfriend (the Boy) didn't want me to have surgery. We sat down and talked about it and I learned that most of his objections were due to the possibility of surgical complications. He wasn't 100% on board even on the day I had surgery, but he's always been supportive.

Maybe you can talk to your mom and tell her that, while you realize that she might not agree with your decision, you really need her to support YOU. Not the surgery, just YOU.

[GonnaBeFit 0]

Hey, my name is Laurie and I am start starting the process as well pretty much. My mom, surprisingly was supportive but when I told one of my friends (I havent told alot of people though) she said that God would not want me to alter my body and that with the right amount of determination, hard work, motivation, etc that I could lose the weight ... now, she is about 150-200 lbs over weight herself and has no interest in losing it or getting healthy. The thing that I want to say to you is that you have to look at the whole situation:

* Have you tried everything to lose the weight?

* Do you always gain it back or is it impossible to lose it?

* What is your relationship with food?

* Are you willing to work hard to make it work?

* Do you feel peace when you think about getting it?

The reason I knew she was "wrong" was because when I thought about not getting the lapband; I felt defeated, discouraged, like a failure etc. But when I thought about getting it, I was full of hope and visions of what it would be like to finally have the body that my mind already thinks I am. I hope you can make the right decision for you! maybe if you try to explain to your mom your reasonings and take her to some appts with you or to the info seminar she will understand more?

[1019Joanne 0]

I think that you have to remember who is having this surgery - you are! This is a huge decision for YOU to make, and I know how hard it can be to not have your whole support system 100% behind you.

Take your mom with you to an informational seminar - if your doctor has a website, let her see it, and let her see the transformations of people just like you! Have your mom write down just what it is that bothers her about this surgery, and answer them. She can even read things on here, and see that we are just people, trying to get healthy, trying to get the scale into "normal" range!

Hang in there! Best wishes to you!

[Spouse of T 0]

You are doing this for yourself...I can understand she may be concerned about the complications of surgery. But if this is really what you want....go forward. Maybe once you express that to her...she will be happy for you. But, in the event she doesn't express that happiness....always remember she Loves you and only wants the best for you.

Lift your head up and stay encouraged. Think, meditate, or pray about your decision and walk out those steps.

[emmielouwho 0]

Thank you all so much for the words of encouragement!! It means so much to me!! I did have a heart to heart with my mom about why I wanted this so badly and i've tried to educate her as much as possible. Even though she's still not okay with it, I've made the decision to go forward with my surgery.

My dad was the one person I was terrified about telling. When I told him he was so supportive which made this so much easier for me. I thought he would be more against it than my mom. He's even going to be the one to take me to Dallas to get my procedure done (I live in Louisiana)!!!!

Getting banded on August 20th!! I cannot wait!!!!! :party:

[thebandedgirl 0]

I'm so glad you're dad's helping you out :party:

[KRELLIS 0]

Hello,

My name is Kandace Ellis I just had my surgery 5 days ago. I never wanted to have the surgery, my mom had the gastric done and she lost weight so fast and looked really sick. So surgery was the last thing on my mind but then I got sick and had gallstones and my doctor told me to just go listen to what class. Me and my husband went and it was so crazy that everything that the doctor was saying can happen when a women is over weight. Its like he took my life and put it on the screen. That is when I looked at my husband and said this is something that needs to change. I had tried to do the diet thing and then gym but it just never worked for me. I have been over weight my whole life. I started looking into the lap band cause I knew I didn't want to go gastric because of my mom's results. Granted she lost alot of weight but just didn't want to go that way. I come from a big family and for the most part everyone was backing me on the surgery but one of my sister's had her 2 cents to put in. I listen but at the end of the day it was my choice and I belive it was the right one for me. I know your mom is your best friend and her word means so much to you but she needs to look at it from all sides. If you have a class you can go to that tells all about the band from the doctor I highly sugest you go with your mom. Has she told you why she doesn't approve the surgery? You have to make the right choice for you. I think once she understands your reason and maybe she does her own homework on the surgery she will understand more. Is she over weight? I hope this has helped you in some way. At the end of the day it is going to be your choice, and you can't decide to do it for anyone but you. That is the one thing my husband kept telling me, Im not lossing weight for him or for anyone else, I am doing it for me! I really hope your mom comes to understand you and she stands beside you in the end. Good luck with everything.

Kandace

hello everyone!

I am new to this forum. I just got my approval from my insurance today for surgery. I have been thinking very hard these past few months about the procedure. Deep down I really want to do it but my mom, who is my best friend, is not being supportive. She doesn't want me to do this at all and it's really making my decision on whether or not to have the LAP-BAND® very difficult. I value her opinion alot. That is really the only thing holding me back from moving forward with things.

Has anyone out there encountered a similar situation? I need some words of encouragement and positive feedback! Thanks!

[emmielouwho 0]

Thank you kandace for sharing your thoughts and experience with me. And to answer your question, yes my mother is overweight. I think her biggest fear is just the unknown. I've tried to educate her but she is a worry wart. I had an elective surgery back in 2007 that didn't tun out well and I think that's where alot of her reservations come from. But with this surgery I have done my homework and have taken all the necessary precautions. I hope once I everything is said and done she will be more accepting of this.

Congratulations on getting banded! Keep me up to date on your progress. Good luck with everything!