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Terry Poperszky's Blog
 

Let the tweaks begin....

Went for a fill appointment this morning, talked over my hunger levels and loss history over he last month and the nurse suggested a .2 tweak, bringing me up to 4.9. So, liquids today, and mushies tomorrow. And I don't have to go back for a month.
Terry Poperszky

Terry Poperszky

0
reenalee's Blog
 

We are off to the circus! I hope we don't step in elephant poop mommy!

This is going to be a GREAT day! My daughter, Makenna had a hard time getting to sleep last night so I was up until about 12:30 because of her. Then my husband who has been also trying to get his weight under control woke me up around 4 this morning while he gets ready to go for a bike ride... My response to that was "could you take some of this new found energy you have and fix the toilet seat?!" I am not a helpless woman, I do a lot of the fixing up around here myself, but for the LIFE of me I can not get the darn toilet seat to tighten up so that when you sit on it it doesn't FLOP to one side! If he were to wake me at 4 AM because he was fixing the toilet, I would be less likely to complain about it. At least I woke up feeling better today, my sinus infection may actually be clearing up! So I wake up, I grab my dog. I have two Pomeranians, a male name Optimus Prime and a female named Vidia. They are very important to me and I am sure I will mention them more. My little Vidia is only about 4.5# and she loves to cuddle with me in the morning while I have coffee. So I grabbed my Vidia and head to the kitchen for coffee. I get about half way through making my coffee when my daughter comes out and she has so much energy! She is jumping around, twirling her dress! I tell her to come to me so I can fix her hair and she hops over to me with big smiles and giggles. Nothing starts your day off better than a happy little girl! I begin fixing her hair and I ask her what has made her so happy this morning. She yells out "We are going to the circus!!!" Then her twin brother, Ethan comes into the conversation. He too was excited, the two of them start talking about what is at the circus. Mind you, neither one of them has ever been this will be their first time. In my last marriage, my husband never held a job and I rarely had any money to do anything. So Ethan says that he thinks there will be clowns, balloons, and lions. Makenna says there will be zebras, tigers and camels! I add in that there will be elephants too!! Ethan gets a very worried look on his face and says to me "I hope we don't step in elephant poop mommy!" Let me tell ya, the thought had never really crossed my mind before then, but I sure hope we don't either! After I sent the kids off on the bus I got to thinking about that statement and I laughed, but also I learned a lesson from it. I have spent the past two or three days stuck in a negative funk about my decisions for surgery and really the things that got me in that negative place are just as relevant as the idea of stepping in elephant poop. Its so unlikely to happen and if I just keep my eyes open, stay on the clear path its highly unlikely I should suffer such misfortune! Just to prove my point, I stepped on my scale and I have made it to 300.0! I can't wait to see that wonderful 200 range again! So my plan for the day is to remain positive, to love my family, enjoy the circus and to stay clear of elephant poop!
reenalee

reenalee

0
CharmingTortoise's Blog
 

Happiness = Scale Numbers Going Down, at least for me

I’m pre-op. I’ve lost 21 pounds in two months on the doctor requested 1100 calorie diet. I’ve been very happy with the weight I’ve lost and am looking forward to losing even more as time passes. It dawned on me today as I was getting dressed that my happiness really is tied to the scale. I was ecstatic that I finally fit back into my pretty size 18 jeans with the little jewel on the buttons. I know everyone says you aren’t supposed to tie your happiness to your weight or your body but you know what, I do, and I am okay with that. I am not comfortable with myself at this size. I don’t move right, I feel awkward, and I definitely don’t feel sexy. I think it comes down to the fact that I am ashamed that I have abused my body to this point and I’m just not happy with myself. I’m starting to think about it like this – Would you be proud of your house if you let it go and didn’t clean it for years and years? Would you let people come over and see that mess? Would you even want to live in it yourself? So how am I supposed to be proud of a body that I haven’t taken care of? How am I supposed to look in a mirror and be okay with the mess that I’ve created?   I know that this not a popular opinion or thought. I’ve read Health at Every Size, I’ve read the blogs, the Pinterest boards, the Facebook pages and even posts right here on the Vertical sleeve board about how you are supposed to love your body, no matter the size. And it is a great notion. I have tried to love my fat self but I really can’t. Hell, I even cut my hair short after reading a certain fat love blog that eschews that it is okay for fat women to have short hair (HUGE mistake for me). For me, there is no love for my poochy belly, for my inner thighs that are so fat I can’t keep my legs together, my multiple chins or even my stretch marks in my under arms. Some would say that I’ve just been brainwashed about ideal beauty. Maybe I have or maybe I’m just realistic that this isn’t really the way I want to live my life. Maybe I’m just really shallow. It’s entirely possible.   I know surgery and losing weight won’t make everything in my life better. I get that. What I do know is this, every time I see that scale number move in a downward direction, I feel like I am getting my life back. I know that I can walk and take stairs without getting winded. I can tie my shoe without having to hoist my leg up by my pant leg. I can wipe my behind properly again. I’ve actually felt like doing some housework and taking walks with my husband and dogs. These aren’t huge things to most folks, it’s not like a scaled a mountain, but they feel like huge things to me. So for now, I’m accepting that my happiness is tied to my scale.
CharmingTortoise

CharmingTortoise

0
Adventures of Minnie and Me
 

Alive and well enough to celebrate!

5 months out!! 63 pounds gone!! I'm feeling so good! I can walk, get on the floor(and back up), no back pain, no knee pain...I could go on and on. I have more to lose, but these pounds off have made a huge difference in my quality of life!   Let's see. my typical day goes like this:   Breakfast: 12 oz coffee with 2 scoops of protein powder, blue agave sugar, and on Sunday's I add an almond joy creamer. 48 grams of protein out the way!   Lunch: if I eat any it is usually something very small. I don't usually get to feeling like I need something until around 3-4pm. I can have a lettuce wrap. Turkey, cheese w/ ranch in a lettuce leaf. (I like the butter lettuce b/c it rolls well and w/o tearing up) OR a piece of fruit/cheese or yogurt with healthy granola i found and flax seed.   Supper: I don't eat any white bread, rice, potatoe, pasta. (I have found black bean tortilla at sams that I love.) Whatever I cook for my family is what I eat just altered to exclude the above. I feed them quinoa, fresh veggies.... and they pretty much eat whatever sides fit my diet better. I adjust my meat to their tastes. Which I'm very lucky and don't have picky kids or hubby!!   I do have sugar free snacks and make sugar free stuff to snack on but usually I'm so busy I don't need it. My goal is to lose 10 pounds a month. I still have a hard time getting in all the water but it is getting better. water on an empty stomach makes me very nauseas! I still add lemon and that helps a lot! All suppliments are still the same. Only thing is I find my hair is falling out A LOT!!! hopefully it's from surgery and will slow down. kinda scary!! sure don't want to be skinny and BALD.. I do excercise. I walk outside with my boys and have an eliptical. 45 minutes on that is all I can handle! Minnie has given me quite the fright a couple of times. I went to have some dungenous crabs on a date night. DELISH! Minnie loved them!! And I loved them a little to much! On the "last" bite I swallowed some spicy juices and had to drink something. Just a sip to quit choking. OH MY WORLD!! it was a horrible time. lol I foamed and spit till I had a puddle beside my car! NEVER again will I ever push Minnie to that point!! I ALWAYS leave room for a small sip just in case I should need it!! And I have to be very carefull of vinegar. Very little vinegrette on my salad!! Or there will be a foamy mess! Haven't actually thrown up food, ever! Just the foamy stuff. THANKS GOD! I def. respect the "last" bite warning!! And I've learned to be content with whatever that amount is. lol No eating more later just cause it was good!! NO GRAZING!   Well, that's about it for now. I hope ur journey has been as successful as mine. I get so many compliments now on my weight loss. People can really tell that I look smaller. For a while only the close friends that saw me realized. Now even the not so close friends look twice and make a comment! Feels good to be working hard and people can see the results...Finally! Used to aggrivate me how some "skinny" people can lose 10 pounds and it look like they lost 30 and went down 2 dress sizes!! Now I'm finally making headway! And I can celebrate in action instead of just a "celebration dinner"!!! I am determined to do a color run! I may walk it but I will do it!! Enjoy your VS journey!
msdenali

msdenali

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D Jordan's Fat to Fit Blog
 

On Going Journey To Better Health

About me and where I'm at in my journey to getting healthy...   My Story… Born and grew up in NC. Now living in GA. I used to be a long haul truck driver seeing the USA through the windshield until a wreak that screwed up my left knee and back which put a stop to that job in 1992 making me walk with a cane today. After that, I had a life of not working and spending a lot of time on my rear end doing not much of anything but letting my body go to waste. But who sees that coming when one has not much of a purpose in life anymore. Mind and body pretty much went down hill. Then around 2007 I had neck surgery on my cervical spine where they fused 3 disc together. Shortly after that I started feeling run down all the time, just no energy to doing anything and feeling bad most every day along with stinging and feeling of pins sticking me in my fingers and toes. Went to get checked out and found out I am a diabetic, have an inactive thyroid, have neuropathy that effects the nerves in my fingers, legs and feet and I now take 5 pills a day so I can walk, ride bike or just simply keep my balance. Doctor said I have been a diabetic for at least 25-30 years. With visit to doctor, I learned that I weighed 383 pounds. I couldn’t believe I had gained that much weight. So I decided enough was enough and I joined a gym and have loved going. Changed the foods I’m eating and in 13 months, I lost 96 pounds. Shortly after losing 96 pounds, I learned I have cirrhosis of the liver, spleen and some other stuff going on. Doctor said it come from being a diabetic and being over weight for so many years. But it’s not all bad. Doctor says not to worry about it if I get weight down and keep diabetes under control, then good chance my liver can heal itself. The good news so far is I’ve lost enough weight that I haven’t needed any diabetic meds for over a year now. But with those problems coming up it is stopping me from losing weight, no matter what I do. I haven’t lost any weight in almost nine months. But I’m not putting on weight either. Maybe because I keep up with my working out and eating right. So now I’m working towards getting Gastric Bypass Surgery in hopes it can be the answer to saving my life. At least all my doctors seem to think surgery should help me.   So that’s all, no problems here and I guess that’s all there is to say about me… :-)   I protest!! This thing called getting back into shape is turning out to be a lot of work. Wasn’t near this hard getting out of shape!
D Jordan

D Jordan

0
too tight??
 

too tight??

i went for a fill last wed,drank the glass of water at the drs office....was fine...went home,had half a glass of iced tea and ended up vomiting for 2 hrs!! couldnt sleep all night,kept feeling like i was chocking...the next day i called my dr,they couldnt give me an appt until next monday!! i stayed on liquids until sunday,was able to keep down about half of the liquids i swallowed. sunday comes,and im able to eat and drink just fine!! then mon and tues,cant eat anything again!! then yesterday(wed),i ate just fine!! now today,i cant eat anything!! soo weird!! not sure if i should keep my appt or not! also,it doesnt help that my surgeon is only in his staten island office 1 day a month,which means i have to travel to nyu in the city...and pay for parking and tolls....just because i prob need a little unfill!!!
angelize

angelize

2
cheryl2586's Blog
 

What Fibromyalgia did to me

Over the last four months I became almost unable to walk. I had so much pain in my muscles and weakness I was walking like duck. My old doctor who is now my old doctor would sit in the hallway and write me prescriptions for muscle relaxers and tell me to go home. I was in so much pain that I could not function, could barely get by at work. I had muscle spasms so bad in my lower back I was going weekly for a deep tissue massage. I never believed in Fibromyalgia because I didnt want to be labeled with something they have no explanation for.   I was so miserable I had to find a new doctor. I made an appointment two weeks ago, drove myself and almost needed a wheel chair to get inside the building. Two guys were standing outside talking and said mam do you need help? Well what the hell I am 50 years old and needing someone to almost carry me inside. So I said yes if you would be so kind.   I met with the doctor and he listened as I explained all my symptoms that started last year in July with no feeling in my leg and how I had MRI's of every part of my spine and head and nothing was wrong. He listened for one hour. Never rushed me so he could move on. After he examined me he told me I have Fibromyalgia. I cringed at those words because how can I live with something I dont believe in. I told him my thoughts and he said it's not a label we put on people when we can't find out what is wrong. It's a real disease with all the symptoms you are having and your nerves are over firing and causing muscle pain and spasming. He put me on Savella, which has been a God send, change my sleeping medication and told me to continue on the muscle relaxers and yes gave me something for pain because he believed I was having excrutiating pain. I gained about 6lbs because of lack of activity but I still tried to maintain my diet.   Two weeks later I feel a lot better but still have pain but it is bearable. I am thankful to my new doctor and my husband who sends me weekly to get a massage. I dont know if I still believe in this disease but I know the medication I am taking makes me feel so much better.
cheryl2586

cheryl2586

9
LadyDiva618's Blog
 

I did it! I am now banded

Well I did it! I am now banded! Yesterday I had the lap band surgery and I don’t know how to feel and I am not going to stress over it. I had to be at the hospital at 530am and I guess my surgery was around 7 then only thing I remember was me being cold. The nursing staff was amazing and they took really took good care of me. There was a lot lap band surgeries going on yesterday. I had a walking buddy name Melissa and we walked around now the hospital floor at least 12 times. My dad is amazing he was off at 8am the morning and was with me the whole time. I was more concerned for him then myself but he was able to catch a few ZZZ while he was there. My best friend Mandy came up to see me and was there until I was discharge at 730pm. My dad stayed with me until Mandy came to my house. Mandy was my unofficial nurse last night. Oh I forgot to mention that my dad went to work last night! I was shock but that is my dad and that is why I love him!   Last night was hard because I had a hard time sleeping I thought if I sleep on my couch it would be easier for me. I was so wrong! However I was comfortable in my bed and I slept on my side and had some pillows on my stomach. I just had hard time getting out of bed. I have this fear of if I do too much I will burst my incisions. I am moving around my house hopefully some on of this gas pressure will get release. I feel like I have 5 burps stuck inside me so I am going to keep moving until something comes out. I have a water bottle besides me at all times. Sipping is hard but I think I got the hang of it. This is a slow process. I am not really hungry but I know I need to eat something more like drink something. I meet my surgeon and my primary doctor next week. Today I will take it move around as much as I can and keep my momentum going!   Thanks for reading.
LadyDiva618

LadyDiva618

3
reenalee's Blog
 

Today, the very beginning to the rest of my life!

Today I shall begin to document my progress. Today I am going to give you all some information about myself and vow to stop by at least every Thurs from here on out and give an update. To start with allow me to introduce myself! My name is Reena, I am from upstate New York, I live and love the country! I am currently 32 years old and the mother of 4 beautiful children. My oldest child is 12 years old, he is 5'11" 180# and autistic. My pride meter went through the roof this year for this child, he has been on honor roll all school year! I am very proud of him. Besides his wonderful grades he also plays saxophone, and drums. He has recently gotten into sports, played basketball and just started up playing baseball. I love seeing his progress, a child who at 5 years old, didn't talk... is now on high honor roll! The next in line would be my twins. I have a set of twins, boy and girl. They are 6 1/2 years old. My son is the older of the two (by a whole minute), he is also a special needs child, he plays baseball and LOVES school! He is an amazing young man, I call him my lil runt because he is much smaller than his sister and has always needed a lil more protection than the rest of the group. After him would be his twin sister, She is our little princess! She is beyond spoiled by nature, a beautiful young lady, long dark hair, large blue eyes, eye lashes all women would die for! Shes tall and very thin! Oh and the brain of her! Shes awful smart. My youngest child is 2 1/2, which is very hard for me to believe! Each of my children are very special to me, the youngest holds a very special place in my heart for many reasons, to start with he was born on my 30th birthday! He is the only child I share with my current husband, and of course, he is the youngest ... his older siblings spoil him rotten! But what a sweet young man he is! I am currently into my second marriage... my first was with a boy/man I met when I was 14 years old. I dated him for about 5 years and we were married a year after I finished high school. Within 2 years of the marriage he developed a drinking problem, 3 or 4 years in he also developed a drug problem... these situations left me and my children homeless a few times, often with no food or no money to pay bills, no car ect. I went through about 10 years of that when I finally woke up one morning and as I was getting ready for work I told him I wanted a divorce. I have tried my best from that day to do nothing but move forward! I started dating my current husband the fall of 2009, we were married june of 2012. He and I are very happy with the life we have built together. Although I still have to deal with my ex husband from time to time, it is pretty limited between his time in the county jail for stealing ect. So about a year and a half ago I came to the decision that I need to continue to better my life and I should start with bettering my health. I started my WL journey at this point. It hasn't gone very well lol! When I began, I weighed 252#... I currently tipped my scale at 305#! So heres what happened. I went to my PCP for over a year, he had me on prescription WL pills and diets ect. I didn't loose, I didn't gain either. He suggested I talk to a WLS. I went through the seminar, went to my first appointment in November 2012. After talking to him I had come to the conclusion that this was the road for me! at that time I was 281#. He told me if I want to continue I MUST quit smoking for 6 months in order for him to do the surgery!... UGH!!!!!!!! I have smoked for 21 years! But I want a happier, healthier life for me and my kids... wouldn't that include smoking? Yes, yes it would. So I got myself in the mind set and I said good bye to smoking! I may have said good bye to smoking, but in turn I said hello to 25#! Now I am busting my tail to get rid of my "I quit smoking so I gained a bunch of weight" weight! Ive lowered my calories to about 1200 a day, drinking water, doing at least 45 mins of some kind of workout each day, which is very hard for me lately because Ive had a sinus infection from hell! I will wrap this up because I need to get some housework done before the kids get home. Today.. today I make the choice to tune out the negative around me, to make great choices for the foods I give my body (and my mind)! To hug my children just a little longer than I did yesterday! I welcome me to the loser's bench, may I be here a long, long time!
reenalee

reenalee

7
smjuroska's Blog
 

Two blog entries in 1 day...dang I am on a role

Not really... my intro was written a few months ago and realized I had not published it. Yeah I am one smart cookie...which is funny I say that! So I have been lurking in the shadows of this site for over a year. Looking through all the forums, blogs, and my favorite before and after pics! While doing research aka lurking on this site I have been over the past year going to appt after freaking appt to meet my insurnance requirements for approval for sugery. I finally finished the 6 pcp visits in March and was approved for my surgery the last week of April! YAY right...well yeah so I thought! My surgeron has her own set of requirments which includes a psy eval. No biggie that's pretty standard. I schedule the appt. I am ready to get the show in the road and get my surgery scheduled. Well I go thinking okay this will be a breeze. Yeah not so much I have PMS which basically means I am one lifetime movie away from a good ugly cry and I am tired bloated and trying not to eat any chocolate. I need to reschedule but that will hold everything up. I find out in the first 5 minutes this is the first of 3 appts. Ok so I have to come back here and pay a co pay and miss more time off work. I say is there anyway we can make it all one big appt? No avail! So we procced. It starts out okay... standard questions do you eat when you are sad happy yada yada. Then he ask what is the saddest time in your life and were you ever depressed. I say when my brother died unexpectedly in July of 2011. (Side story we were on family vaca and he got sick and passed away 3 days later...I also had just found out I was pregnant. it was a crazy horrible time in my life) I was really close to him and plus being pregnant made my grief ten fold. I was honestly depressed for a few months but that is to be expected I was grieving. Well he keeps probbing about that and I begin to cry and cry and cry. Gotta love PMS! I get myself together and we move on. Then he ask have you ever done drugs or have you ever got drunk? Yeah I was a wild teenager I did both alot! Dammit Shannon you are falling for his tricks! More questions. Makes me think I am an addict. Which I am not! I haven't touch an illegal substance since I was 22 years old. I am 32 now. Did this guy ever here of experimenting sowing wild oats? I barely can finish off a glass of wine now. My patience with this guy is getting thin. He then ask have you ever been sexually/physically abused. I don't answer. I start to cry again...damn PMS! I really don't want to go there I said. It was a long time ago. He keeps on and on. I go into a little detail and he said I should talk to someone maybe a female psy dr about this. Ok whatever you think... moving on. (I am thinking he thinks I am nuts! ) Surely he has heard worse. I am emotionally mentally done! He then ask remember these words in this order. (insert 3 words) I am repeating them in my head. He then ask the date...I answer. Then who was the president of the US during the Civil War? What I don't know am I in history class now. (If I answer wrong will you not approve me for surgery?) Then what is the capital of Italy? I give him a look. I say why?...I don't know why are you asking me these things? He says just answer the questions. Rome. Yes he says now count backwards from 100 and minus 7 each time. I give a even more nasty look with an eye roll. 100....um 93 ummm 86 no thats not right. Look I am not good at math in my head. I cant do that I need a calculator. He then says I give you an easier one...count back from 30 minus 3 each time. Ok I am offically pissed now I feel like a emotional unstable, addict, who is dumb! Plus I have to meet with him after my computer test to go over his results. I swear if this quack does not approve me I will show him crazy for real! Well probalby not but I will be mad.
smjuroska

smjuroska

9
judysbabies' Blog
 

I have to swallow what?

So, you're saying that I have to CRUSH all my pills and swallow the powder?   Do you know how disgusting that propanalol tastes before crushing?   I don't think so.   Liquids?   Most of my meds don't come in liquid.   Put the powder in water? Then I have nasty tasting water with particles in it.   Hide it in pudding. Great but what about after surgery? you know, those first few weeks?   Seriously, how did you get your medication down without gaging or puking?   Just my random question of the day.   Judy
judysbabies

judysbabies

8
smjuroska's Blog
 

Hello my name is Shannon and I am a fat girl...

So this is my first blog ever. I am blogging like most to keep a journal of my journey and maybe help someone along the way but I am sure I will need alot of that myself. Like most people here I have always been above average in the weight department. I ALWAYS needed to lose 10 vanity lbs in high school. Then when I hit my 20's the weight crept up. I always hated my body! I developed at an early age and look like a grown woman when I was 13. I had the boobs butt hips. Looking back I realized that this is when my problems with food began. It was my comfort. So I got married at 24 and got pregnant a year later. As soon as I saw that postive test it was my ticket to eat whatever I wanted for 9 months. For the first time since I could remember I was not feeling guilty for eating. I packed a whopping 90lbs. on. I was out of control! I had my beautiful baby and then realized I was huge and my body was forever ruined! I exercerised ate low fat low carb and lost 50lbs. Go me! Then life happened and things got stressful and I gained/lost it back, had another beautiful baby, over the next 6 years. I have been on every diet weight watchers atkins all the crazy fads only to go right back to where I started. That yoyoing can really play games on your emotions! So here I am I have 2 beautiful kids, a husband who loves me no matter what, and I am fat and I love myself least of all. I can give all the excuses like I am too busy or this happened and that happened but it all boils down to I put myself last on my list and now I have got to the point that I need help to get me back. The main reason I am doing this surgery is my health. I have a strong family history of early heart disease and type 2 diabetes. I have high total cholesterol high trigs and borderline high insulin levels. I am headed up the same hill many other overweight family members have taken. All of them are in poor health in their 40s and 50s or didn't make much past 50. I cannot end up like them and slowly kill myself. I have lived with my mother for 6 years suffering from heart failure and I know my days are numbered with her. She is only 52 and has given up hope. She has accepted that this is her fate. I can't let me children go through what I am going through with her. I know none of us are promised tomorrow but all my mom's serious health problem are directly related to her poor lifestyle choices. So while I need to get my head right and my emotions in check before surgery I am so glad I have made the choice to have WLS and hopefully be a happy healthy mother and wife for many many many years to come.
smjuroska

smjuroska

5
pink grace's Blog
 

God knows best

I was really struggling with the dissapointment yet again, i just sat and poured my heart out to the lord, and said i give up, i cant do this anymore, you take it lord, and then just got on with living. 2 days ago i got a phone call to say that they knew how upset i was and they have juggled everything around and i have a new earlier date, sun19th may, first thing, i also found out that my old scales were saying i was a stone lighter that what i thought, normally they would cancell due to this, but they are overlooking the weight gain,God knew that and has worked this for my good, totally in awe of God and so gratefull, now i start my liver shrinking diet again on sat and cant wait to start, knowing that its going to happen this time, xx
pink grace

pink grace

1
JennieDK's Blog
 

Random Ruminations at Midnight

I haven't blogged as much as I had hoped I would. Tonight, though, I can't get to sleep, so I thought this would be as good an opportunity as any to get some of these thoughts and see what they look like on the screen. I've seen a number of threads where people make their confessions or things like that. I don't know if I'm these will be as dramatic as all that, but as I'm approaching 5 months post op, a lot about me has changed, and a lot has stayed the same. So here's where I am tonight:   1. Losing weight changes so much in your life, but it doesn't change everything. This is obvious, yet something that I need to remind myself of from time to time. I'm extremely lucky-- I am, and was before surgery, very happy with my life in general. I have a great husband, great kids, a great job, and I'm meeting many of my professional goals. But the peripheral problems are still there, nagging: worries about work, paying for my son's college, questioning whether or not I'm doing the right thing going back to school in the fall (I'm getting my doctorate). Stress continues. It's not unbearable, but man can it back up.   2 I'm terrified of gaining weight back. When I go to the support group or read stories on the message boards about people who have reached their goals and then slowly start putting it back on-- it just makes me so scared. Hopefully that fear with keep me focused. I also don't want to be totally obsessed about my weight for the rest of my life.   3. I'm hung up on certain numbers. I've lost 70 pounds and I should be so thrilled, but a big part of me simply won't believe that this is actually happening until I reach some major goals. I'm 4 pounds away from one of them now. 186. I have not seems 186 in more than 18 years.   4. The more weight I lose, the more my husband's weight bothers me. I adore this man; there's simply no doubt about this. But I feel like I'm working hard to make myself the best I can be and to be a healthy role model for our kids. And I'm watching him get bigger. He's picking up my slack. If I make the same amount of something that I used to, he eats his share and the part that I can no longer eat. I'm worried about his health and his self-image. I'd kinda like to keep him around for a while.   5. I'm really, really proud of myself. I am. And I'm not good at being proud of myself. I'm running, for God's sake. I've never been a runner, and I ran a 5k two weeks ago, and I'm jogging 2 or 3 miles on the treadmill 3-4 times a week right now. I want to scream it from the rooftops because I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD DO THIS. I wore a pair of size 12 jeans tonight. I haven't done that in more than 18 years.   6. Some of my friends are getting weird about it. Most are extremely supportive, but others seem uncomfortable with the thought of me no longer being the fat friend.   7. I'm uncomfortable with the compliments sometimes. Especially at work and that kind of thing. I always tell people I had surgery, and I find myself saying it as though that discounts the hard work that I've done. And I feel like the people I work with are constantly looking me up and down, assessing me. It's weird.   8. I'm so worried about extra skin. I've always had great boobs, and they are definitely deflating a bit. My arms are getting flappy, too. I'm terrified that I'm going to look like Jabba the Hutt's skinny sister.   9. Did I mention that I'm terrified about gaining weight? I don't want to look like Jabba the Hutt's fatter sister, either.   10. I still enjoy drinking wine, and I always will. Maybe that's why I'm losing 1.5-2 pounds a week instead of 3, but I can deal with that. I plan on living my life. If I don't work out some kind of balance, I won't be able to do this long term. And I must do this long term.
JennieDK

JennieDK

1
Momonanomo's Blog
 

I've been approved...@!$# is gettin real

Wow....I had prepared for it to take the full 15 business days for insurance to reply....but it only took 4. I'm approved! May 22nd at 1 pm. Excited, scared, curious, nervous, relieved, anxious....seems crazy to have some of these feelings all at the same time! But ..... here we gooooooo.   I have SO much to do at work to get ready to be gone. I never take more than a day or two off at a time, except when I got married, and unfortunately even that I kinda planned around my work schedule (don't tell anyone, that's kinda my own little secret). I'm planning on being out 5/21 through 31... the 27th is a holiday, so it's really only 8 work days. I do payroll for a kind of large outfit and being out through the 31st means when I come back on June 3rd I have to hit the ground running full speed to process payroll that day. Hope to God all goes well and I am able to come back when I plan to! I honestly don't know what would happen if I wasn't here. I guess the responsible thing to do is to make sure my boss remembers how to do it, so that he can do it if necessary. Then there are other pressing matters that I need to wrap up before I take the time off, and some things I need to find someone to do while I'm out...I honestly don't know who is going to do some of these things...panicking a little about it.   One thing is for sure: nothing makes time go by more quickly than having deadlines to meet!
Momonanomo

Momonanomo

4
ladybabie3's Blog
 

I'm back and I missed yall.

Hello all I no I been gone for a min. I had a lot of stress these past few weeks, and with stress comes band habits that I didn't let go and I own up to them. So with that said I put myself back on my liquid diet and I'm back to working out. So much so I fasted walked 6 miles today. How is everyone else doing.
ladybabie3

ladybabie3

1
Someonefab's Blog
 

The Start of my Journey

Hello everyone. I am in the process of considering the gastric sleeve operation. Originally when I first thought about the surgery when I was at my biggest weight, I was terrified because I had an aunt who passed after having several similar surgeries. So I was against it then. Now, I have a new outlook on the situation and figured that this just may be the best thing for me.   Currently, I am diabetic, have high blood pressure and cholesterol, ashmatic, have allergies and sinus issues, among other medical issues. My mother had all of those problems along with renal failure, and poor circulation. I had vowed that I wasn't going to end up like my mother but I have all of her medical conditions with the exception of the poor circulation and renal failure. Although, I almost had renal failure when I had my hysterectomy because of a complication. At my biggest weight, I weighed in at 289. Last year I lost 30lbs but have gained some of that back. Prior to last year, I was at 250lbs and I had gotten down to 232. But now I am at 247. I would like to be able to lose the weight and keep it off forever. My motivation has not been the greatest. Especially when I get depressed, bored, or any other type of emotion where I tend to turn to food for comfort.   My goal is to become a bodybuilder or a fitness model. I would like to be able to go back to how I was in high school where I was in a weightlifting club and took second place in the competition. I have four sons and one grandson. I would like to be healthy to be able to spend time with all of them and the other grandchild that will come in September of this year. I am tired of the aches and pains that I feel and the problems with breathing when I have to run or walk fast.   I believe once I lose the weight, my self-esteem will increase and I will be able to accomplish so much more in my life. My goal is to get off all of my medications or at least be down to 2 or 3 at the most besides my vitamins.   Currently I am researching about the vitamins and foods that I will be able to eat. I have read that most people have opted to take their vitamins in liquid form rather than taking a pill. I have also read that people have been doing the protein shakes. I would like to get a better understanding of the procedure and any advise from other members.   A part of me is scared because of my past history with surgeries. Also because I don't want a lot of extra skin after the surgery. I am looking into how to prevent that from happening. I would like to be able to wear a bikini one day without the shame and embarrassment.   I have been given the referral from my doctor to participate in the Options program at Kaiser, which is the Bariatric surgery department. I go for my information session on 5/7/13. So I am anxiously awaiting and look forward to learning more at this meeting. I have decided that I will start the actuall classes after I return from my vacation because i don't want to start and then have to miss two weeks of classes and will have to make them up.   Yesterday, I started logging everything that I eat. I was reading that this is going to be necessary during the 12 weeks of classes. I am trying to get into the habit of doing it now because I know it is usually hard for me to stick to things and I need to get into the habit now. I will also be logging my exercise. Before I stopped exercising, I was logging every exercise I was doing. Once I start back, this too will be a part of my log.   This is my first entry and hope to be able to continue on with my journey.   Wish me the best of luck on my journey!
Someonefab

Someonefab

3
lellow's Blog
 

6 days post band replacement surgery

I woke up this morning and I feel OH so much better than I have the last few days. I was starting to worry that I'd never feel ok again.   This surgery was harder than the initial surgery. It hurt more. It took more out of me. Mind you, I *am* almost 5 years older than I was then. Maybe that's it, maybe it's just coz I'm an old chook now lol.   I'm still on a liquid diet - full liquids, with the thickest thing I am having being yoghurt, and I'm doing it easily. I'm rarely hungry and this reminds me so much of when I was in my green zone, when I nearly never felt hungry. I have great hopes of getting there again now I have a new band in.   I've also lost almost 5lbs since surgery. I'm not trying to take that loss too seriously but, if I'm honest, I'm ridiculously happy because I've been so careful with my intake and exercise the last few months and not lost a measly lb without the band. This is why I went back to get a new band, because it works for me.   Next stop: the green zone. I have my first fill in a couple of weeks, and then hopefully it won't be too long until I'm back there again, and I can go back to happily living my life with my band like I did for the 3 years before the leak.   Fingers crossed.
lellow

lellow

7
judysbabies' Blog
 

Good-bye Coconut Shrimp

Today was my last time to eat my beloved coconut shrimp at Red Lobster. It was incredibly delicious. I ate every bite of my baked potato and three garlic/cheese biscuits. I felt no guilt. I am satisfied and stepping forward.   I have already said good-bye to Tony Roma's ribs and onion loaf last week in San Antonio.   Three weeks ago, I ate at my favorite Chinese buffet for the last time.   There are others that I will still be able to nibble on after surgery but these three will be no-no's.   For me, these are big steps toward a new me.   Judy
judysbabies

judysbabies

3
Vicki0618's Blog
 

Just keep swimming...just keep swimming

I'm channeling my inner Dori and singing to myself...Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...in more ways than one. Today is 8 weeks and I lost a whole pound this week. So my 9# loss in Month 2 is a lot less than my 19# loss in my first month. BUT things are definitely changing...so I've just gotta keep going!   I joined a gym last week. After a little fiasco with the first gym I tried (a very uncomfortable experience) I ended up joining a gym that the whole family can go to. They have 3 pools and a great kids program and I think it's going to be a great place for my whole family. I have gone everyday since I joined and am doing a lot of swimming. I'm not a very fast swimming but I can definitely tell I'm working parts of my body that haven't been worked in awhile. My step daughter is a water polo player and she has taken it upon herself to be my personal trainer and is having me do her water workouts....well my version of them anyway She is either going to whip me into shape or kill me...LOL   My kids are swimming with me, and it's been interesting to hear their comments about Mom getting in and swimming and not just sitting on the side soaking my feet. Apparently, I have been missing out on a lot since I got heavier .   So I am walking, and biking, and swimming...trying to get in 5-6 days a week of some sort of activity. So even if the scale isn't moving very much, I KNOW I am in a very different place than I was last year at this time. I'm not the heaviest person at the pool, and I'm not the skinniest...but I am starting to feel comfortable in my own skin!!!   Heaviest Weight: 281 3/6/13 Surgery: 257 (-24) 3/13/13: 251 (-6) 3/20/13: 245 (-6) 3/28/13: 238 (-7) 4/3/13: 238 (-0) FIRST MONTH -19# 4/10/13: 237 (-1) 4/17/13: 235 (-2) 4/24/13: 233 (-2) 5/2/13: 229 (-4) SECOND MONTH -9#
Vicki0618

Vicki0618

3
Terry Poperszky's Blog
 

All the low hanging fruit is gone...

My initial loss with my band was amazing (and a little scary), but the joy of seeing pounds dropping off on a daily basis was truly fantastic. As I was looking at my weight this morning, I noticed that I had only lost 5 pounds during the month of April and was tempted toward the negative by comparing my loss with what I did when I was first banded.   Then I started to think about my bike ride on Sunday, 28 miles, 23 miles two days before, Both at speeds that it took me 5 months of work up to last year to be able to sustain for 15 miles. I thought about my spin class and the progress I have made during it, where I had to stop and rest halfway through when I first started. I thought about the fact that it is time to go shopping for clothes again because my pants are starting to bunch at the waist when I tighten my belt enough to hold them up. I thought about the fact that I am down to one belt because I haven't punched holes in the other two. I thought about the fact that the fat percentage on my scale hit a new low number this morning. I thought about all the weight that I lost on WW, and how 5 pounds in a month would have been a cause for celebration.   Yup, the low hanging fruit of my band journey is all gone, but that's ok I burn more calories when I have to climb the branches to reach the higher fruit.   Father God, please help me to remain thankful for all that you have given me instead of focusing on what I don't have...
Terry Poperszky

Terry Poperszky

10
judysbabies' Blog
 

My hair! My hair!

What? I'm going to lose all my hair! Geeze Louise. I don't have any to spare.   Seriously, what about the hair loss? What is the best way to limit that tiny little cause and effect of surgery?   I'm not going to change my mind about surgery but I would rather keep my hair.   I need hair to pull out as I reach the stage of having 4 teenagers at the same time. No, I don't need hair for that. I MUST have hair to pull out. Otherwise, I'll commit hairy-cary. I'll end up in jail bird orange. I don't even like orange.   Help!!!   Judy
judysbabies

judysbabies

6

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