Slow Losers - Unite!

live2canoe · September 28, 2005

Welcome Rhonda!

You qualify (although barely ;-) )

We Slow Losers need to concentrate on things like inches lost, instead of pounds! I mean really, aren't we doing this so we all look better (and feel better, of course) - that's far more important than some silly number on a scale.

Maybe soon the slow losers can start a inches/sizes lost thread....

What do you think Vines????

Zoe · September 28, 2005

O mighty tortoises, I started out as a rabbit but I have become a snail. I still am averaging a little over a pound a week since I was banded, but have lost only 3 lbs. in the last four months -- a weight-loss rate of 0.17 lbs/week. Alas, I guess I don't really qualify for membership yet, but maybe I could start an ex-rabbit auxiliary. I think your slow-loser group is a great idea!

MeganA · September 28, 2005

I've lost 71 pounds in 102 weeks. I'm a total slow loser. 50 of that was my first year, so I'm pretty sure I qualify. I can be the old wise one of the group, if you have such a position.

Megan

vinesqueen · September 29, 2005

Heck yeah Megan! We need all the wisdom we can get! I feel like I'm just treading Water. I know things are happening, I wouldn't be having so many NSVs, but I don't know how to deal with the frustration.

I just had another fill yesterday, an additional .5 cc, so that puts me over 2ccs. I didn't feel any different yesterday, but I know that it takes a while for fills to kick in.

*sigh*

It's difficult to wrap my miind around the concept of a successful weight loss surgery without dramatic weight loss. Does that make sense?

Kim, I think the inches lost thread is a great idea! That's part of Nana~'s Holiday challenge, and I love it. More realistic for some of us than just a staight pounds lost.

MeganA · September 29, 2005

It's difficult to wrap my miind around the concept of a successful weight loss surgery without dramatic weight loss. Does that make sense?QUOTE]

This is a very important statement. I think it's one of the biggest challenges to the band vs. bypass argument. It's also the hardest to reconcile in your head.

I don't think I really felt like I was a success until the one pound loss every couple of weeks started to add up and up and up. I still struggle with it, but now it's not the scale that tells me if I'm a success. For example:

I haven't lost more than 5 pounds over the summer. But I've gone from a size 22/24 top to a 18/20. I've gone from a size 26 bottom to a 22. How, I don't freakin' know. I don't get it. But there it is.

This journey is about so much more than a number on a scale or a number on a clothing tag. But I think that some of us are slow losers to help us get used to all of this. And we're slow losers so that we have a chance to create lasting habits and changes.

Megan

live2canoe · September 29, 2005

Zoe -

The 'Ex-Rabbit Auxillary' is brilliant. I've seen alot of posts on this thread from 'ex-rabbits' who are frustrated now that they are nearing goal, or have at least lost a significant amount, and the remaining weight is clinging stubbornly.

We will happily support an 'Ex-Rabbit Auxillary'. I nominate you as their Chairperson. Please report back to Slow Losers headquarters with news from your group.

vinesqueen · September 29, 2005

Tuesday was really hard for me. I've been beating myself up because I'm not losing weight. I mean, I'm seriously obsessing over this. I obsessively count calories trying to stay near the 1200 calorie mark, but I allow myself +/- 100 calories before I wig out.

I know that doesn't make sense, none of this does. I feel like a failure. All around us we se so many people "6 months out and I've lot 70 pounds!" People that started with very close to my BMI & height/weight. I see posts from newbies "help! I'm two months out and have only lost 50 pound, how can I lose more?!" and I want to scream, I want to throw things at my monitor. I want to rant and rail at them, tell them to shut the hell up.

I'm very happy for the rabbits amongst us. I cellabrate their rappid victories, their fame and glory, but at the same time, I rant and rail. I am envious and jellous, which is know isn't good for my soul, but I cannot help the emotions. I would never want to see any of them the frustrations I feel; I never wish them ill, I only wish some of their success was mine.

On the other board I'm on, I don't get any real support there, I only feel like I get beaten up there... I had a serious PB with Peanut Butter on toast... The only feed back I got was "oh I never eat Peanut Butter, bla bla bla" Well, you got your band with a BMI of 32, so SHUT THE HELL UP!

I've been seeing a therapist about my trouble. She has some experience with eating disorders, this being a college campus and all, but no experience with anyone with WLS. *sigh* But she and I decided that I should just forget this band thing. I'm not able to function at school.. I mean I'm seriously obsessing over this and driving myself into deperession. Not a healthy place.

She said that I should probably stop going to the on-line support groups that I currently use, and find a group for folks that are not successful with the band. I thought that was probably a good idea. That I should find people who were struggling with the same lack of success I find myself facing.

She also said that I need to stop counting calories. That I need to just back away from the whole weight loss thing right now, since it has taken over my life, and not in a healthy way either. Not being able to study or do my school work is bad bad bad for a college student, especially one on a scholarship with academic requirements...

Well, that was Tuesday afternoon. When I got home from work, there was your "Slow Loosers Unite!" thread. I broke down and cried really hard when I saw it. I didn't have to go find the slow loosers, they were there waiting for me with their squishy hugs and soft arms. Not to judge me as harshly as I judge myself, but to accept me and to celabrate me like I cannot.

And so, I sit here with tears streaming down my cheeks, salty pain yet salty hope as well.

Jessiebear · September 29, 2005

Do I qualify?

According to my math I have lost 1.1lb/week since surgery.

MeganA · September 29, 2005

OH VINES! I'm so glad that you are here...

I have to agree with your therapist. The more I count calories and obess about my band, the worse I feel and the more I eat. I've given up the idea that I'm going to be down a hundred pounds in a year like other people. You know why, cause there are others out there who are down 20 in a year. It's all relative.

When I've given up the fight is actually when I gain the most emotionally. I sometimes think that all that calorie counting and mumbo jumbo about food is actually me trying to avoid some emotional growth. I can control what I put in my mouth, but can't what I feel in my heart.

Give yourself a band vacation. Eat whatever the hell you want for a few weeks. Stop when you feel full. Make pretty decent choices. My guess is that you won't gain a single pound- but you will feel healthier mentally.

You should be very proud of yourself.

Megan

the best me · September 29, 2005

OH VINES!
When I've given up the fight is actually when I gain the most emotionally. I sometimes think that all that calorie counting and mumbo jumbo about food is actually me trying to avoid some emotional growth. I can control what I put in my mouth, but can't what I feel in my heart.

Excellent insight...

Give yourself a band vacation. Eat whatever the hell you want for a few weeks. Stop when you feel full. Make pretty decent choices. My guess is that you won't gain a single pound- but you will feel healthier mentally.

You should be very proud of yourself.

Megan

and excellent advice.

(((((((HUGS))))))) Crystal

grammi · September 29, 2005

God I am glad I tuned in today! I have been so depressed. I was banded May 18 and am down around 25 pounds. I have had a horrible time getting restriction. I too have a large band and after 4 fills am still under where I should be. Sometimes I feel like I could eat a house!!!! Anyway, thank you and count me in as I need all the encouragement I can get at this time. On the other hand, I am down more than I was in May!

Marimaru · September 29, 2005

Ok, to be honest when I first saw the post, I wasn't going to join, but I think this is what I need. I agree whole heartedly that Crystal (vines) should be the leader, and am so glad she accepted. I lost 50 lbs in the first year, and 5 lbs since my bandeversary 3 months ago. It used to be that I'd fall below the 1lb per week average, then lose just enough lbs to be back there, but now it's falling farther and farther out of site.

I'm not exersizing. It's horrible. I was walking almost 3 miles a day before, then switched to a pilates aerobic dvd... then went on vacation in June and never picked it back up again, because I wasn't losing weight and didn't feel like should have to do it if it wasn't helping. Once again, never mind the idea that I felt better and had more energy, the scale rules all, right?

Now I'm getting married and even though I don't have a date I've put all sorts of pressure on myself to lose this weight by my wedding. In all honestly I wont say I have to be to goal by then, but I'd love to have a size 10 wedding dress at the very least, you know?

Crystal, I think that your therapist is right. I was so obsessive over my weight loss at one point, and so depressed every day that I looked at the scale and it hadn't moved and I just realized one day that I wasn't doing myself any good. My ENTIRE DAY could be ruined by 3 seconds on the scale in the morning. I still weigh every day, but I no longer freak out about it. I haven't counted calories in a while either. I know that I'll lose if I eat less than 1300, but I just haven't been counting. If I figure in my head, most days I'm probably around 1500, but I don't lose there. I just don't have the strength for it right now, but one day it'll come back and I'll be all over the calories.

I will start my NSV thread this afternoon. It'll take some editing because I'll need to pull them altogether.

the best me · September 29, 2005

Well, that was Tuesday afternoon. When I got home from work, there was your "Slow Loosers Unite!" thread. I broke down and cried really hard when I saw it. I didn't have to go find the slow loosers, they were there waiting for me with their squishy hugs and soft arms. Not to judge me as harshly as I judge myself, but to accept me and to celabrate me like I cannot.

And so, I sit here with tears streaming down my cheeks, salty pain yet salty hope as well.

Don't give up hope. Lots of squishy hugs here for you. I just love this post of yours. I cried, too!!!!

live2canoe · September 29, 2005

Vines - Great and Venerable Leader, High Priestess of our Congregation:

First, I want to say how sorry I am that you have been struggling with obsession and depression. I, too, have struggled (continue to struggle) with depression and I know how dibilitating it can be. I think that Megan has offered excellent advice and insight regarding long term band struggles, as only our 'old, wise one' can. (By the way, how old is Megan anyway? 25? I have pantyhose older than her!) I hope you can break away from the calorie counting obsession and take a break for a while. I agree with her that after your 'break' you may have even lost some more.

But mostly what I wanted to say was THANK YOU, THANK YOU , THANK YOU for 'getting it'. I knew when I nominated you that you would be the perfect person to voice our frustrations. You are far more insightful and eloquent than I could ever hope to be. I too find myself screaming at my computer monitor when people who were banded after me, close to my starting BMI, complain that they have only lost 50 pounds. I like to Celebrate the success of the speedy losers, but I am very very jealous. I think to myself - why not me??

Thank you so much for agreeing to be our leader. And by the way - I've PB'd on Peanut Butter toast, too! I hope you never go back to that other board. They don't deserve you!

DevilMayKare · September 29, 2005

Thank you so much for agreeing to be our leader. And by the way - I've PB'd on Peanut Butter toast, too! I hope you never go back to that other board. They don't deserve you!

Deserve or not--we NEED Her and ALL of you. Don't forget in this game a rabbit today can become a turtle tomorrow. (You know that metaphor doesn't work for me nearly as well as it did before I met Lisa's rabbit.)

I won't apply for membership today because I know all you hoity-toity turtles would boot my fluffy ass--but I'LL BE BACK. And you all better not get all comfy over here because Inertia has a way of ertia-ing--or whatever the hell it does.