Social Isolation

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

I am watching the supersized version of My 600 Pound Life (Chay/Lola and Pauline). One of the subtitles they put up just said that: some researchers believe that social isolation is more detrimental to health than obesity and immobility.

I can see where that could very well be the case.

[becomingmandikaye 262]

I believe it. As someone who has struggled with severe depression and living a hermit-ish life... I absolutely believe it.

[Valentina 2,642]

It goes round and round, doesn't it? When food is our only comfort--our only friend, we don't need to socialize where we are "hurt" and ostercised , so we stay home where food is there to comfort us--our only friend...

[Andrea72 510]

@@Valentina

You are absolutely correct.

I for one thought I was so much happier living in solitude. Problem is, I didn't realize how much I relied on food for that happiness until I couldn't eat.

Those first few weeks were rough, but I remembered I had the sleeve in order for me to start living.

9 weeks into my new journey, and I couldn't be happier.

[OKCPirate 5,323]

@@Inner Surfer Girl- One of the more interesting studies I saw was "wine isn't a miracle drug." They figured out people who drink wine tend to be more social and that lead to the extra longevity. I know a guy who is on the super heavy side. He likes people and gets out when he can, but just the incredible amount of weight he carries wears him out. He doesn't have the energy to be the social person he wants to be, and that seems to be aiding the downward spiral. And yes, I shared with him my surgery story. I don't know where "rock bottom" is for him.

[Anna Nim 196]

Social Isolation is worse than weight.

I myself had a very dark moment in time tonight where I thought about the future when my son, the light of my life is graduated in a few years and off living somewhere with a wife, when my ill mother is gone and even when my father is gone-how profoundly sad I will be and how I also may be content with staying at home alone and depressed instead of trying to be social when I am flat and purposeless inside. I am envious of people who have family and extended family around. Their kids, the grandkids and whomever else. I see myself missing my son when he is grown everyday until the moment I die.

I don't have the answer (Oh..get a hobby isn't it...). I know weight and pain only makes it worse, but looking at my Dad. He is slim and lonely as anything. My heart breaks for how much my parents have missed me since moving away from home years ago. I am single. My exH is alone and the "love of my life" that I did moved mountains to be with turned out to be a covert, sneaky narcopath. Sometimes I think of going back with him just to not be so damn alone.

I KNOW I have hijacked your post and dropping a ton of depression on it, but yes, the weight has major issues, but worse is the depression that comes from loneliness.

[James Marusek 5,244]

I am not sure where this thread is going. It seems like there are many lonely people out in the world.

Years ago during some class or other, I became aware that people fall into two classes: introverts and extroverts. An extrovert draws their energy from others. You put an extrovert completely alone and they go crazy. But you put them with other people and their energy levels go up and they are happy. But an introvert is the opposite. They derive their energy levels when they are alone and for the most part are happiest there.

I am an extreme introvert. What I found strange is that when extroverts in the class found out I was an introvert, they immediately wanted to correct the situation by wanting to introduce me to others so that I could make connections. It was their solution from viewing me through their lense. So this approach might work in their situation but all I needed was a little peace and quiet.

Technology has changed society today. In some cases people are more interconnected than ever before. They are constantly on cell phones even when they drive. Everyone knows exactly where they are every minute of the day. But this constant interconnect especially with strangers brings about a rudeness and a loss of interpersonal skills.

So social isolation can led to loneliness, depression and they can factor into obesity. But not necessarily. But if one spends their entire day watching television or playing video games or on the internet, I could see how they could gain some weight.

[becomingmandikaye 262]

I am not sure where this thread is going. It seems like there are many lonely people out in the world.

Years ago during some class or other, I became aware that people fall into two classes: introverts and extroverts. An extrovert draws their energy from others. You put an extrovert completely alone and they go crazy. But you put them with other people and their energy levels go up and they are happy. But an introvert is the opposite. They derive their energy levels when they are alone and for the most part are happiest there.

I am an extreme introvert. What I found strange is that when extroverts in the class found out I was an introvert, they immediately wanted to correct the situation by wanting to introduce me to others so that I could make connections. It was their solution from viewing me through their lense. So this approach might work in their situation but all I needed was a little peace and quiet.

Technology has changed society today. In some cases people are more interconnected than ever before. They are constantly on cell phones even when they drive. Everyone knows exactly where they are every minute of the day. But this constant interconnect especially with strangers brings about a rudeness and a loss of interpersonal skills.

So social isolation can led to loneliness, depression and they can factor into obesity. But not necessarily. But if one spends their entire day watching television or playing video games or on the internet, I could see how they could gain some weight.

It's important to note that there is a big difference between being an introvert and being socially isolated.

I am an introvert. What that means is I need to recharge in solitude, not live in solitude. Healthy introverts still have friends and are social. They don't live in isolation or seclusion. I think that's the kind "social isolation" being discussed here.

Sent from my SM-G920V using the BariatricPal App

[Andrea72 510]

I am not sure where this thread is going. It seems like there are many lonely people out in the world.

Years ago during some class or other, I became aware that people fall into two classes: introverts and extroverts. An extrovert draws their energy from others. You put an extrovert completely alone and they go crazy. But you put them with other people and their energy levels go up and they are happy. But an introvert is the opposite. They derive their energy levels when they are alone and for the most part are happiest there.

I am an extreme introvert. What I found strange is that when extroverts in the class found out I was an introvert, they immediately wanted to correct the situation by wanting to introduce me to others so that I could make connections. It was their solution from viewing me through their lense. So this approach might work in their situation but all I needed was a little peace and quiet.

Technology has changed society today. In some cases people are more interconnected than ever before. They are constantly on cell phones even when they drive. Everyone knows exactly where they are every minute of the day. But this constant interconnect especially with strangers brings about a rudeness and a loss of interpersonal skills.

So social isolation can led to loneliness, depression and they can factor into obesity. But not necessarily. But if one spends their entire day watching television or playing video games or on the internet, I could see how they could gain some weight.

It's important to note that there is a big difference between being an introvert and being socially isolated.

I am an introvert. What that means is I need to recharge in solitude, not live in solitude. Healthy introverts still have friends and are social. They don't live in isolation or seclusion. I think that's the kind "social isolation" being discussed here.

Sent from my SM-G920V using the BariatricPal App

Thank you @@becomingmandikaye

Sadly there is a big misconception as far as introverts are concerned, and in being one myself, I think you summed it up perfectly.

I am not sure where this thread is going. It seems like there are many lonely people out in the world.

Years ago during some class or other, I became aware that people fall into two classes: introverts and extroverts. An extrovert draws their energy from others. You put an extrovert completely alone and they go crazy. But you put them with other people and their energy levels go up and they are happy. But an introvert is the opposite. They derive their energy levels when they are alone and for the most part are happiest there.

I am an extreme introvert. What I found strange is that when extroverts in the class found out I was an introvert, they immediately wanted to correct the situation by wanting to introduce me to others so that I could make connections. It was their solution from viewing me through their lense. So this approach might work in their situation but all I needed was a little peace and quiet.

Technology has changed society today. In some cases people are more interconnected than ever before. They are constantly on cell phones even when they drive. Everyone knows exactly where they are every minute of the day. But this constant interconnect especially with strangers brings about a rudeness and a loss of interpersonal skills.

So social isolation can led to loneliness, depression and they can factor into obesity. But not necessarily. But if one spends their entire day watching television or playing video games or on the internet, I could see how they could gain some weight.

It's important to note that there is a big difference between being an introvert and being socially isolated.

I am an introvert. What that means is I need to recharge in solitude, not live in solitude. Healthy introverts still have friends and are social. They don't live in isolation or seclusion. I think that's the kind "social isolation" being discussed here.

Sent from my SM-G920V using the BariatricPal App

Thank you @@becomingmandikaye

Sadly there is a big misconception as far as introverts are concerned, and in being one myself, I think you summed it up perfectly.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Back in 2014, I just stopped eating. I had no appetite. I thought there was something wrong with my sleeve, turned out I was just lonely. I am an extrovert with a capital E. I also like solitude but I feel so lonely when I don't verbally and/or physically touch others. My puppies help but I gravitate to other people and make an effort to get daily fixes of energizing people contact. My sons live with me but I am preparing for their eventual moving out to make sure I have a plan. I live in the country and work from home... It can get lonely out here.

[Sophie74656 1,572]

for me my weight lead to social isolation. I was embarassed of myself and walking around was difficult. I was also unemployed and my husband had emotionally left our marriage. So I would spend all day alone in the house...then all evening alone. My husband would come home from work and leave again for some rehersal or "gaming night"...sometime he wouldn't even come home in between. So I would spend day and night alone. I was in a deep depression and had nobody to turn to. My husband defiately didn't care. It was terrible

[Christinamo7 4,041]

the older I get the more hermit like I become. not sure if it is because "Saint David", my husband is an autistic genius and has been a bad influence on me or if I am just plum tuckered out raising 7 kids. seriously, I think the last two girls, plus chatty Nate have broken my ears from all the listening I do.

I am also finally (at almost 50, slow learner) figuring myself out. I am both extroverted and introverted. so when I make the effort to hang out with friends I have a very lovely time, but the introverted side of me is horrified. I do it anyway.

long story short, I know I have to not be isolated, but I also know myself well enough to know that I need plenty of alone time to recover. and, since I have ADD I have never been bored with just myself for company.

For those of you who are lonely I am glad you have found this group. there's almost always someone here and wanting to be your friend because we are all on the same path.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

Social Isolation is worse than weight.

I myself had a very dark moment in time tonight where I thought about the future when my son, the light of my life is graduated in a few years and off living somewhere with a wife, when my ill mother is gone and even when my father is gone-how profoundly sad I will be and how I also may be content with staying at home alone and depressed instead of trying to be social when I am flat and purposeless inside. I am envious of people who have family and extended family around. Their kids, the grandkids and whomever else. I see myself missing my son when he is grown everyday until the moment I die.

I don't have the answer (Oh..get a hobby isn't it...). I know weight and pain only makes it worse, but looking at my Dad. He is slim and lonely as anything. My heart breaks for how much my parents have missed me since moving away from home years ago. I am single. My exH is alone and the "love of my life" that I did moved mountains to be with turned out to be a covert, sneaky narcopath. Sometimes I think of going back with him just to not be so damn alone.

I KNOW I have hijacked your post and dropping a ton of depression on it, but yes, the weight has major issues, but worse is the depression that comes from loneliness.

"Getting a hobby" may not be THE answer, but it can be an answer or at least a way to be involved in social interactions.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

I am an introvert with extrovert skills learned over decades.

In thinking about some of the dangers of isolation is that we lose any outside influences, cues, examples, etc. of how things could be different.

[theantichick 2,204]

I believe that social isolation is awful. I'm a screaming introvert, and as someone else said earlier, that doesn't mean I don't like people. I love spending time with my close circle of friends, I just "people out" and need time to recharge alone. I was married to an extrovert who would get drained when alone, and recharged while with people. Needless to say it didn't work out, though honestly it wasn't the introvert/extrovert thing that killed it. My health has made it hard for me to spend time with my close group of friends. We stay in touch online, but it's not the same. I had to go out of town for training last week, and thought it would be so awesome to have a week in a nice hotel and so relaxing. It was actually the opposite. One of my goals in losing weight and getting healthier is to spend more in-person time with my chosen family.