Have You Convinced Anyone Else To Have The Surgery?

[Proud2BMe 1,016]

So far I've only talked to two people with regard to recommending the surgery to them. One person decided to go for it and had the surgery. The other person had the opposite reaction and instead of viewing it as a potential blessing went on this high strung emotional tirade against me on Facebook claiming I called him "fat" and was rude. He went on to state that it's society that needed to change and not him. In reality I merely told him that I believed that weight loss surgery would do wonders for his self-esteem and that it would greatly improve his health. I then went on to explain how I've lost over a 130 lbs from the gastric sleeve. It's funny how people react to things. The first person I talked to realized that this was the answer to her problem while the second guy is a drama queen who believes that society needs to change to accept him.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Did you initiate the conversation or did they approach you?

I've personally not "convinced" anyone to have surgery nor would I broach the subject with someone. When I was a fatty, I knew it. I didn't need anyone suggesting the newest diet, cookbook or weight loss plan. I certainly didn't need anyone suggesting a life altering, permanent ELECTIVE surgery. I, too, would have been highly offended.

While I am an open person, my health and my body are my business, no one else's. I pity anyone who thinks my body is their business.

[Fatty McFatster 888]

I haven't "convinced" anyone, but my wife decided she wanted to have the surgery as well and we are doing it together.

[Babbs 14,680]

I have a friend that is easily 350lbs, and has been obese her entire life (she's 49).

She has had nothing but feet, ankle and knee problems lately, and is going to under go a whole knee replacement next week.

She knows I had the surgery, and has seen my success on Facebook. I struggled for a while whether to ask her if she ever considered it, as losing weight would eliminate or at least decrease most of the health issues she has. In the end, I decided against it. I'm sure she sees how it's helped me, and is able to make her own conclusions about WLS and ultimately decide for herself whether it's right for her.

I just always find it ironic that some people who have difficulty with the "major surgery" and "drastic" aspect of WLS end up needing drastic surgeries to repair the damage to their bodies that being obese caused.

[nieuwevis 294]

on some level, i did the surgery to (also! not primarily) convince my sister to consider it. she and i were the heavy ones, only childless ones up til last year. we did everything together. i've married and moved away, and i know she's not very happy. my heart hurts so much for her. she's always been bigger, but when she was younger, she carried it well and had so much confidence. i know if she loses the weight, she'll be happier (though i do wonder if it'll uncover some other issues, i think her life would improve greatly). when we talk, she never asks about my wls. like yall said, when we were bigger, we knew.

eta she doesn't ask, and i don't bring it up.

Edited November 20, 2015 by nieuwevis

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

I am pretty open about my experience when asked, but I don't bring it up on my own.

The other day I did have someone who worked at my wellness center and who knew I had lost a significant amount of weight ask me in front of someone else who she was trying to convince to consider surgery how I did it. When I told her, she said "I thought so." and asked if I would talk to him. It may have been awkward for him, so I just sat down quietly with just him and shared a bit of my story of what made me consider surgery, my fears, and my experience. She had already introduced him to someone else who had the same surgeon as me so it wasn't completely out of left field.

I also have another acquaintance who recently attended a seminar and is pursuing surgery. I would like to think my experience encouraged her.

I try not to imply that anyone else "should" have surgery. I just share how it works for me when asked.

Edited to add: I don't share about WLS at all on Facebook.

[RyansGirl89 67]

I really don't think it is right to bring it up to someone. I don't blame the guy for being offended. If someone asks me first then of course I would encourage it but never presume to try to tell that person what I think they should do with their own body.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

I really don't think it is right to bring it up to someone. I don't blame the guy for being offended. If someone asks me first then of course I would encourage it but never presume to try to tell that person what I think they should do with their own body.

I agree with this to a point.

But, there were a couple of folks who very tactfully and kindly shared with me that they had surgery. I would never have known since I only met them after they had lost weight. Both of the instances (unrelated) was after we had developed more than a nodding acquaintance. It was clear they were being vulnerable and sharing private information with me because they cared. It wasn't in order to shame me -- that makes a HUGE difference. They set a great example on how to share my story in a compassionate way.

If it weren't for them planting the seed in my brain that it was possible I wouldn't have eventually considered surgery.

I am very grateful to them.

[Healthy_life2 8,319]

@@Proud2BMe

I will only share my experience if the person is truly interested. If someone approached me saying anything about my weight..and I should get surgery. I would have taken the conversation as fricken rude.

I met a woman who has a super morbidly obese BMI. She is in a wheel chair, oxygen and many health issues. After talking, I took her to an information meeting to get the ball rolling. After the surgeon told her she is a high risk patient. He gave her fantastic news. He has set her surgery date for January 2016. Her stipulation is she will be placed in a nursing home after she is sleeved. I will be there for her bringing music and resistance bands, I feel no need to rescue anyone. They have to put in the work. I hope the best for her.

[Stevehud 1,790]

while i love that you tried to help others. Truly, i love that. But as a guy, we dont take advice from women well. There is still a huge stigma for men having WLS. We're told to just gut it out, that were just big boned, society makes some allowances for big guys and not big gals. We should just hit the gym and cut out the beer..Which makes no sense if you dont even like beer lol. But as you know denial is a powerful thing. It enables us to not see ourselves as fat or whatever word you want to use. We use that enabling to get by. As men we have this innate macho thing where we arent allowed to admit weakness at all. unless we finally make that big leap and make that psychological breakthrough that lets us admit we need help. Its very dificult as society and our friends relatives associates etc will poo poo it at every turn. Its not a manly thing to fix by cheating ( and yes i know it isnt but we know thats a big perception. People think WLS is cosmetic plastic surgery, akin to getting a boob implant. Men aren't allowed to seek options outside of the DIY option. This is one reason i cringe when i see someone on tv, some famous celeb, who loses weight, "on thier own" they get raised to sainthood, but WLS to save lives is considered "cheating". Its easier for your friend to get mad and defensive than it is to fix his issues. And obese people know all about EASY.

[Proud2BMe 1,016]

Did you initiate the conversation or did they approach you?

I've personally not "convinced" anyone to have surgery nor would I broach the subject with someone. When I was a fatty, I knew it. I didn't need anyone suggesting the newest diet, cookbook or weight loss plan. I certainly didn't need anyone suggesting a life altering, permanent ELECTIVE surgery. I, too, would have been highly offended.

While I am an open person, my health and my body are my business, no one else's. I pity anyone who thinks my body is their business.

They initiated the conversation by commenting on my weight loss. With the man, I really got sick of him bitching about his health problems and why he can't ever find a mate. He's the type that constantly chases after people who are like a perfect 10 but can't understand why they don't want to be with a morbidly obese person. I'm never judgemental with weight issues and I merely suggested that I know he has low self esteem and that the surgery would help him with both his self esteem and health issues.

[nieuwevis 294]

I really don't think it is right to bring it up to someone. I don't blame the guy for being offended. If someone asks me first then of course I would encourage it but never presume to try to tell that person what I think they should do with their own body.

I agree with this to a point.

But, there were a couple of folks who very tactfully and kindly shared with me that they had surgery. I would never have known since I only met them after they had lost weight. Both of the instances (unrelated) was after we had developed more than a nodding acquaintance. It was clear they were being vulnerable and sharing private information with me because they cared. It wasn't in order to shame me -- that makes a HUGE difference. They set a great example on how to share my story in a compassionate way.

If it weren't for them planting the seed in my brain that it was possible I wouldn't have eventually considered surgery.

I am very grateful to them.

my sister was actually the first to mention wls to me years ago when she was starting the process herself. she decided not to, and i hope my continued success might give her a positive view of it.

[Proud2BMe 1,016]

I really don't think it is right to bring it up to someone. I don't blame the guy for being offended. If someone asks me first then of course I would encourage it but never presume to try to tell that person what I think they should do with their own body.

I think you misunderstood. This is the type of guy who constantly complains about his health problems caused by his morbid obesity. I'm quite frankly tired of hearing about it and so I finally told him that I know he suffers from low self-esteem and health problems and that weight loss surgery would help him on both matters. I then told him that I lost over 130 lbs through gastric sleeve and showed him before pics. At no time did I make fun of him for his obesity. Yet he turned it into such and began spouting crap about me on Facebook saying I made fun of him for being fat. Honestly, he's stuck in the point where he believes that he is perfect as is and that society has to change. Hopefully he will hit rock bottom and realize that he has to be the one to change for his own health and well being.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Did you initiate the conversation or did they approach you?

I've personally not "convinced" anyone to have surgery nor would I broach the subject with someone. When I was a fatty, I knew it. I didn't need anyone suggesting the newest diet, cookbook or weight loss plan. I certainly didn't need anyone suggesting a life altering, permanent ELECTIVE surgery. I, too, would have been highly offended.

While I am an open person, my health and my body are my business, no one else's. I pity anyone who thinks my body is their business.

They initiated the conversation by commenting on my weight loss. With the man, I really got sick of him bitching about his health problems and why he can't ever find a mate. He's the type that constantly chases after people who are like a perfect 10 but can't understand why they don't want to be with a morbidly obese person. I'm never judgemental with weight issues and I merely suggested that I know he has low self esteem and that the surgery would help him with both his self esteem and health issues.

They may have initiated a conversation, but did they solicit your advice? Big difference.

Suggesting someone has low self esteem and your thoughts on how to correct that could be construed as highly offensive in my book.

[Proud2BMe 1,016]

Did you initiate the conversation or did they approach you?

I've personally not "convinced" anyone to have surgery nor would I broach the subject with someone. When I was a fatty, I knew it. I didn't need anyone suggesting the newest diet, cookbook or weight loss plan. I certainly didn't need anyone suggesting a life altering, permanent ELECTIVE surgery. I, too, would have been highly offended.

While I am an open person, my health and my body are my business, no one else's. I pity anyone who thinks my body is their business.

They initiated the conversation by commenting on my weight loss. With the man, I really got sick of him bitching about his health problems and why he can't ever find a mate. He's the type that constantly chases after people who are like a perfect 10 but can't understand why they don't want to be with a morbidly obese person. I'm never judgemental with weight issues and I merely suggested that I know he has low self esteem and that the surgery would help him with both his self esteem and health issues.

They may have initiated a conversation, but did they solicit your advice? Big difference.

Suggesting someone has low self esteem and your thoughts on how to correct that could be construed as highly offensive in my book.

He admits he has low self esteem. And he's not a stranger. Look, this is your opinion, and that's fine. But it's your opinion.

Do you realize that if it wasn't for a friend suggesting that I get the surgery that I never would have? I thought weight loss surgery was for losers who don't have will power. So I'm not shy when recommending it to people who I believe may benefit from it. Someone has to. Most people don't care about people enough to be honest and upfront like that. All you have to do is mention it once. Whether or not they climb onboard and begin to look into it is up to them.