No Wonder I Wasn’t Skinny!

[LisaLouBop 181]

Great topic.

I was looking back on my fitness pal log this time last year. (6 months prior to my VSG). I could not believe the amount of carbs I was eating. No Wonder I Wasn't Skinny. Daily intake of carbs, was 150, 160, 180. My Protein was low and the fat, sugar and especially the carbs were crazy, just the opposite of what we should be eating.

It's amazing to look back and see exactly what I was doing wrong.,,,, EVERYTHING!!!!

[rosepose 105]

My mom is an amazing cook! When she and my dad were first married (pre VHS/DVD) she used to find out what was being prepared on that days Julia Child episode on PBS get out her cookbooks and measure and chop ingredients and then do the prep with the show so she got it just right. She said she'd go through 2 lbs of butter in a week cooking or just the two of them. Once as a child I had asked for a Twinkie like my friends had. I wanted to try one. My mom got so annoyed! She said she'd show me what Twinkies were supposed to taste like and bought me an eclair. When I was really young we lived overseas in a place where you couldn't even buy Pasta or cheese in the stores... so she made them by hand. Seriously, she can make liver taste amazing. All it takes is a mustard cream sauce.

However by the time I was a little older there were five kids and my dad was seriously focused on not dying at 52 as his dad had. So the regular meal became salad, rice (often brown), a steamed vegetable, and broiled chicken. Liver for Breakfast on the weekends. Snacks and special recipes came out of the Pritiken Promise cookbook and my mom was miserable as cooking was her primary creative outlet. Weekly trips to a french restaurant after my piano lessons were a bonding activity for us and while my dad was at work we did eat a fair amount of fast food but by no means every day.

My siblings never had weight issues as kids and I didn't really until I was in puberty. While the others occasionally have issues with weight as adults they seem to have had better luck with it just being a blip that happens in response to stress or injury that they then get under control whereas I have been overweight since my teens. I think that was in part because as the oldest and a girl I had to fight the hardest to be allowed to play sports. My parents were living over seas in a place gender equality is still an absurd idea during the whole get your girls playing sports things and holy crap when we got back I had to FIGHT to even be allowed to play soccer and didn't succeed until I was 10. All I had was swimming as that was a safety issue as we lived in a beach town so being a really good swimmer was very important. But food has always been how my mom comforted us and how she comforted herself. The same with several of her siblings who also have serious weight issues. So it was less about knowing what was healthy and more about not having a healthy emotional outlet.... at least it wasn't alcohol? Also she really hated being the only fat one in the family, so when I'd start to diet, the same woman who wouldn't buy Twinkies would buy double stuff Oreos which are my kryptonite.

[MichiganChic 3,262]

I love this thread!! All the things people say they grew up eating is so similar. It's the average American diet. And it's interesting that the people who had access to what they wanted think that contributed to obesity, and the people who had food restricted think that contributed to obesity.

I know with my own kids I tried to do thinks right. Never forced them to eat, allowed them to make choices from a good selection of foods that were good for them. Never fried food, and had well balanced meals. That was some of the time. The other part of the time I was doing weight watchers, so they did, too. Sometimes I was "eating healthy". Some of time I was on a fad diet. Then, the rest of the time life got in the way. I was so busy working and running kids and going to every school event and volunteering and going to school myself, that fast food and high calorie pasta/cheese casseroles became the norm. And let's not forget, I love to bake, so I baked a LOT. So, I'm reasonably certain my children can link all of that to their weight issues, too. When you put a lifetime of behavior into a couple of sentences, it does look like I could have done better.

The truth is my mother did the best she could, and so did I love. She is a great mother despite my obesity, and I think my kids would say the same of me. Pretty sure I wouldn't change a thing Well, one thing I would change - I would eat like that and still be thin!

[Amylou 206]

I grew up with a very nutrition-conscience mom and grandma. All 4 food groups were represented at dinner - Protein, vegetable, starch, salad, sometime dessert. Some standard meals would be -

Swedish sausage or Swedish Meatballs with boiled potatoes, peas

Baked chicken, green Beans, salad, rice

Baked fish, rice medley, broccoli, salad

Grilled steaks, baked potatoes, asparagus, bread

Fresh or frozen veggies only. We never, ever had sugar Cereal in our house. No pop. No candy. No chips. Ice Cream was a very rare treat. Snacks would be some cheese cubes or some frozen peas.

I was a very long and thin child until second grade when I doubled in size in 6 months. To this day, I think it's all emotional eating. I eat when I'm lonely and for comfort. That's all.

[lisacaron 5,075]

Growing up I didn't have a taste for many things. In fact I didn't like chocolate, it looked messy and kind of like well...you can imagine when it melted so I was anti-chocolate.

If you asked me if I wanted a Hershey kiss vs a carrot stick I took the carrot stick. My Grandmother, was Hershey kiss fanatic she had them all the time all over the place and it was a turn off to me because they were always stale or melted. So as a kid I was pretty skinny.

Mom cooked all our meals and we ate lunch in school which was as about as nutritious as the pyramid of health could be I would mostly drink the chocolate milk and maybe eat the pizza. I wasn't big on the Cereal for Breakfast either and we always had things that were no sugar like puff rice, Cheerios or shredded wheat. So most mornings I would "make believe" eating breakfast and float a few bites in milk till they were soggy. (yeah Mom caught on when the box lasted for months but cereal bowls were in the sink every day. Hey was young and deception was not my forte!!) Weekends when Dad would cook up some runny gross eggs, or worse scramble them and slather them with butter and ketchup (barf) he would have me sitting there all day to finish that plate of eggs. I would not touch them with a 10 foot pole. (sorry Sam I am, would have had a better chance with green eggs and ham!) Thank God we had a dog and it would only take a couple hours to get her to eat that whole plate! (yes the dog was over weight, I"m sorry Baby!!)

dinner would always be some kind of meat potato and greens. Most of the time I would eat the greens and the potato and the meat would be a fight. I wasn't into the meatloaf or hamburger. Veal cutlets gave me a headache and meatballs...well nope they were just as bad as hamburger I don't care how much sauce they had on them. My family, and friends families, (the big Italian kind) all tried to fatten me up over the years.

I ate pretty healthy until I discovered sweets, and the bakery. Yeah that was my downfall...and there it went. ALL chocolate wasn't Nanny's Hershey kisses and it was delicious!! Bakery items...even bread!! Oh my...how yummy that could be!! You could keep the Oreo's and chips ahoy give me a crumb bun or piece of cheese cake.

As I got older and I was able to buy what "I" wanted to eat....well....so much for healthy picky eating. I can't blame my parents, I didn't like their food very much, it was all MY own doing. I found the bakery and I found the chips and once I stopped being that fast action always moving running dancing and jumping teenager and became an adult that could eat what she wanted, when and where....and started taking care of her own family and not herself so much...well that is when I was no longer skinny.

[rosepose 105]

Yeah I should clarify the point I failed to make - my food problems have to do with emotional eating not the food I was exposed to. My nutrition education as a kid was actually pretty good but food was and has always been how my mother shows love and comforts us. I only really noticed this because my sister is great with her kids on this level in that instead of offering a sad kid a cookie or a food treat of some kind she always says "do you need hugs?" or "do you want to talk about it?" or even "do you need space?" never ice-cream or pizza or a special meal. Food is fuel, love is love and comfort is comfort. And for me the sleeve is like installing breaks on my unhealthy coping mechanisms and forcing me to deal with them differently and hopefully more healthily.

Edited to add: Oh and rewards aren't food either - no sugar treat for a good grade. Rewards are "great job" or even a fun activity. She's a great role model for me in this.

Edited July 7, 2015 by rosepose

[ShrinkingPeach 1,291]

@@VSGAnn2014, I know right? Those days are long gone lol

[Stevehud 1,790]

heh for me, Pasta, heck my mother would make 25 pounds of lasagna at the drop of a hat. Everything revolved around food. every meal had a starch a canned veg and bread and butter. over and over.

[Chrystee 838]

I love this thread!! All the things people say they grew up eating is so similar. It's the average American diet. And it's interesting that the people who had access to what they wanted think that contributed to obesity, and the people who had food restricted think that contributed to obesity.

I know with my own kids I tried to do thinks right. Never forced them to eat, allowed them to make choices from a good selection of foods that were good for them. Never fried food, and had well balanced meals. That was some of the time. The other part of the time I was doing weight watchers, so they did, too. Sometimes I was "eating healthy". Some of time I was on a fad diet. Then, the rest of the time life got in the way. I was so busy working and running kids and going to every school event and volunteering and going to school myself, that fast food and high calorie pasta/cheese casseroles became the norm. And let's not forget, I love to bake, so I baked a LOT. So, I'm reasonably certain my children can link all of that to their weight issues, too. When you put a lifetime of behavior into a couple of sentences, it does look like I could have done better.

The truth is my mother did the best she could, and so did I love. She is a great mother despite my obesity, and I think my kids would say the same of me. Pretty sure I wouldn't change a thing Well, one thing I would change - I would eat like that and still be thin!

I don't really think anyone is "blaming" it all on our Mom's.. Most of our Moms or Grandmothers probably grew up or lived during the depression.. which had an effect on our parents or us. In my case, my Grandmother did. So, while my Grandmother was thin, cause she barely ate, she fed my Mom and my Grandpa fattening depression foods. My Mom grew up on that (and then she was a teen Mom, so I did too). Everyone else was thin in the 60s/70s while my Mom was heavier than everyone else, though, not a lot.. she was just chubby.. Coming along with the 50s/60s/70s were all the boxed, canned foods.

Also before the 50s/60s people farmed their land. Before WW2, people had gardens in their front and back yards.. but something happened where we decided that was unacceptable and needed to have grass and manicured lawns.. Ive heard people tell me a diet plate back in the 50s was a broiled hamburger patty, green Beans and pickles. All low carb foods.. somewhere, we decided that we needed more grains and less meats. Less fats and more carbs..

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

Oh, we will be blamed as well. Already am. It's justified. Even though I was vigilant with my girls when they were small, my behavior as they grew older was the modeling they saw. I binged and ate all the wrong foods even if they didn't. Blame doesn't help. We only change the future if we change ourselves.

[Anquinette Reese 7]

Well the one thing I loved most is Slab Ribs. I would eat them things straight off the grill. One would assume that because it's off the grill uts probably less fat. Not at all their still packed with so many calories.

[carebear42 82]

My mom cooked often and we rarely ate out. She tried to cook healthy foods but I was a pretty picky eater. I wouldn't try new foods at all and wanted to stick to things I knew I liked. My one thing I wish my parents did different was have me drink Water instead of sodas. I loved sodas! I wasn't really heavy until after high school and then I ate and drank whatever I wanted. My kids aren't allowed sodas except for special occasions. They are allowed water and milk. More often than not they will now chose water over soda! Yay!

[Bandista 7,466]

My mother had a health food store, the first one in the city where I grew up. Our household revolved around one crazy diet after the other -- a pattern that I am so relieved now to have finally broken. I have lost 70+ pounds of fat I put on with high quality natural foods. While I'm still picky about what I put in my mouth, I am liberated -- these days I go ahead and have a little of whatever I want. My no dairy, no wheat, no sugar, no whatever days are over, hallelujah!

[Califlower83 33]

As a child myself and my 2 siblings were adopted by my aunt who was in her 20's and had 2 kids of her own. She worked hard to take care of us and was not always around because of that, growing up there were a lot of quick foods around to tide us over until she came home to cook. We would eat cup of noodles, TV dinners, microwave burritos, chips, soda, and Cookies. Because there was not a lot of supervision we ate as much as we wanted. Later when I should have been outside playing and being active I was inside cooking up horribly fattening concoctions like fried burritos, fresh french fries covered in a whole can of chili, home made doughnuts, chocolate sandwiches, or Breakfast ice cream ( ice cream with Cereal on top).

I think my aunt wanted to prove that she was able to provide for us so there was a lot of overdoing it. On field trips we would have the biggest lunches, I would actually be embarrassed! 2 can sodas, chips, candy bars, hostess cakes, and a 6 inch sandwich from subway! My whole family would eat like this but I know now I ate my feelings from my mother leaving and abandonment.

By the time I realized what eating like this was doing to me I was 250 in high school and from there tried just about everything to try getting the weight off. I don't really blame anyone though, nutrition wasn't something that was taught so nobody thought about it until much later down the road.

Looking back it's no surprise I was overweight my whole life, I'm actually surprised I didn't gain more than I did!

[Alex Brecher 10,484]

Oh, these are good…in such terrible ways! I’d forgotten about “cultural” foods. Those southern foods sound pretty deadly…fried everything with gravy and bacon on the side! In my case, it was Jewish foods. Kugel, anyone? You know, a mound of Pasta, cheese, apples, raisins, and sugar? Or maybe potato kugel, with potato and oil?

And of course the convenience foods. And I’d forgotten about the fat-free craze…pasta, bread…My parents didn’t understand where the calories were coming from if we only ate Pasta or bread. It had to have something on it or it “didn’t count” as a meal!