I am 41 years old. BMI of 49 and a weight loss failure. I have lost over a hundred pounds three times in my life and gained it back plus more through various diets. I always considered myself in fairly good health for being as large as I was... That is up until 2 years ago, when my joints started hurting terribly. Lower back pain, hip pain,shoulder pain... weak ankles and plantar fasciitis. I have been getting cortisone shots for almost 2 years. My husband is not supportive of weight loss surgery.. he thinks it's weak. Anyone else without a support system?

You are NOT selfish! You are taking control of your Health and that is the most important thing you can do for you and your family.

I'm not a huge fan of Dr OZ but if you watch his episode on bypass and the sleeve (two separate episodes you can get online). Listen to what the people say and it will ring home for you.

Taking control of our own lives is the most difficult thing we can do and you have a world of support right here!

Hugs!

He probably worried you look great and leave lol

Well, my boyfriend broke up with me stating he'd rather break up with me now and break my heart than have me break up with him and break his heart once I lose all the weight I want after the surgery.... Bastard!!!! Made me change my view on relationships. After 2 years of me dealing with his bipolar disorder episodes...

I am 41 also with the same BMI .... No health issues other than knees are starting to hurt and I am just plain uncomfortable now . I have a 9 yr old son and it bothers me that I cannot be very active with him . I am almost at the end of this process and cannot wait to start my new life . I have only told a select few people .....there will always be some negativity ... Sometimes from the people you least expect

Well, my boyfriend broke up with me stating he'd rather break up with me now and break my heart than have me break up with him and break his heart once I lose all the weight I want after the surgery.... Bastard!!!! Made me change my view on relationships. After 2 years of me dealing with his bipolar disorder episodes...

I am so sorry this happened. He sounds insecure. Did you tell him your feeling? I known husband has low self esteem and is a little afraid that I will get "skinny" and leave him. He asks for reassurance a few times a week and I haven't even gotten the surgery yet! I am pre-op five months left til I can submit for insurance approval.

My husband is also scared of the surgery and the long term effects. I invited him to my next appointment so he can talk to the doctor!

Hang in there SCR1611990!

It breaks my heart to see so many of you whose family members and spouses don't support your decision :-\

I worry about what will happen with my boyfriend (who i live with) once I have my surgery and start seeing results. He's supportive of me having surgery, and he wants to have it done as well, but he hasn't taken the steps necessary which makes me doubt his commitment. I hope I have success and that being there everyday to see it will inspire him. I worry about his health and mine, which is the reason I'm having RNY. Your husband has to understand that if diet and exercise was really the way to lose weight, you would have done it by now. He also needs to understand that you want to be around for your children and be active and play with them. If you're at a high weight, you can't do that. What you're doing isn't selfish; you're saving your life. You're adding length to the time you'll have here on this earth, and adding quality to that life. Quality of life that does directly impact your husband and your children. I wish you the best of luck with your upcoming surgery and I hope your husband comes around.

First off its hard for anyone being over weight to loose weight especially the older you get i do not believe your taking the easy way out i believe you have given it your all and your taking the last thing possible step to make your health better many people may not agree but no one is living in your shoes do what your heart tells you and remember this surgery isnt a walk in the park i know family members first hand who have done it and said the last thing it will be is EASY!! So sorry to your husband but it is definitely not as easy as he may think this may be the most challenging thing you will go through, best of luck to you.

Hi support us I portent my husband did NG want me to have the surgury as well but after I took him to my appointments he understood the procedure, felt comfortable with my surgeon and understood the quality of life I could have now him and my family are my best support system . Good luck .